The Brawl Amazing Race
by TakeTheseChains
Summary: Twenty-four intrepid Brawl characters travel around the world for one million dollars! Credit to Hoogiman for inspiring me to do this.
1. Is This a Family Show?

Disclaimer:

I do not own Brawl or the Amazing Race. Also, I do not own any copyrighted items in this fanfic.

Note: Some of these challenges are made up, and some are taken from the show itself.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, let's get this started!

"Hi, I'm Bill Keenan, and this is the Brawl Amazing Race! By random selection, here are our pairings," said Bill, who was hosting the race.

The screen switched to images of the pairings and their names.

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

Ike & Pit

R.O.B. & Mario

Peach & Samus

Captain Falcon & Meta Knight

Wolf & Lucas

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Ness & Olimar

Pikachu & Yoshi

Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch

Falco & Link

"When I give you the signal, you will all run over to your bags to take your first clue, and then go into one of the marked cars in the carpark of the course. What you do next is entirely up to you! You must hurry to every pit stop, as if you arrive last, you maybe eliminated. Nine of the legs in this race, including the final, are elimination legs. The other four are pre-determined non-elimination legs. If you finish last in those legs, you will not be eliminated, but will receive a penalty. The first team to cross the finish line will win one million dollars!" instructed Bill.

The teams applauded and cheered.

"Oh, and one more thing," added Bill. "This will not be held in the video game world. No, it won't! This race, except for the final leg, will be held in the human world!"

The teams gasped.

"Put on these stickers onto your body," said Bill.

Bill handed the teams some stickers.

"When you wear these stickers, you will appear invisible to most people, and visible as normal humans to the people who are relevant to this race. Also, your powers will be restrained by these stickers, but not completely. You may only use your powers in designated challenges."

"Okay. Give it your all…

Travel safe…

GO!"

The twelve teams tore towards the backpacks to take their first clue. Sonic and Marth were the first to get their clue.

"Drive to the portal at Battlefield," Sonic read out from the clue.

"Teams will have to drive to the portal to the human world at Battlefield. What the teams don't know is that for now, this portal is set to go to Johannesburg, South Africa. Once there, a Zulu tribal chief will give them their next clue," said Bill.

"Hurry, Marth! Get in!" said Sonic impatiently.

A few other teams got into their cars as they headed on, and the camera zoomed onto a few teams.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__Currently in 10th Place_

_Wolf & Lucas  
__Currently in 8th Place_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
__Currently in 4th Place_

_Captain Falcon & Meta Knight  
__Currently in 5th Place_

"Okay, we must take the right turn!" said Captain Falcon.

"No, we're turning left," said Meta Knight.

"Hey, who made YOU boss?" shouted Captain Falcon.

"Says Mr. 32nd Place!" retorted Meta Knight.

"Well, who asked you to be so broken? Gimme the wheel!"

Captain Falcon steered the car into a ditch.

Meta Knight: Really nice job, "expert driver". Now we're gonna have to call a tow truck.

_Ike & Pit  
__Currently in Last Place _

"This sucks. We were beaten to the cars by everyone," said Pit.

Ike looked out his window. "Hey, it's Falcon and Meta Knight!"

"See ya later, suckers!" said Pit joyfully. He gave them the loser-sign.

Ike and Pit's car passed Falcon and MK.

_Ike & Pit  
__Currently in 11th Place_

Later...

_Portal to the Human World_

_Sonic & Marth  
__Currently in 1st Place_

"There are portal services to the human world every 30 minutes. The next one is at 4:30 p.m.," said the attendant.

"Okay, that's great. We'll have two tickets, then," said Marth.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"There are only five minutes to the next portal," said the attendant.

"We'll take two tickets, in that case. Come on, G&W!" said Luigi.

"Yeah, let's hurry!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

_1st Portal - 4:30PM_

_Sonic & Marth_

_Peach & Samus_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch_

* * *

_Portal to the Human World_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__Currently in 5th Place_

"There are only two tickets left for the 5:00 p.m. portal," said the attendant.

Ganondorf: We'll take them!

_Falco & Link  
__Currently in 6th Place_

"Fan-[censor sound]ing-tastic. The LAST DAMN TICKETS," yelled Falco.

"Hey, WHO didn't drive quickly enough?" answered Link.

"Do you WANT us to speed and get penalized later?" raged Falco.

"Well, YOU just lost us 30 [censor sound]ing minutes! That could be the difference between staying in this and elimination!"

_2nd Portal - 5:00 PM_

_Pikachu & Yoshi_

_Ganondorf & Wario_

_3rd Portal - 5:30 PM_

_Falco & Link_

_Wolf & Lucas_

_Ness & Olimar_

_R.O.B. & Mario_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby_

_Ike & Pit_

* * *

_Johannesburg, South Africa_

_1st Portal Arrives_

_5:45 PM_

_Sonic & Marth  
__Currently in 1st Place_

Marth opened the clue.

"Detour: Tunnels or Tribes," he read.

"A detour is a choice between two tasks! In this detour: Tunnels or Tribes!  
In Tunnels, teams must go to Wild Caves and rappel underground to a depth of fifteen metres and go through the cave for their next clue!" said Bill.

He continued, "In Tribes, teams must travel to Lesedi Cultural Village, where five tribes are represented. Once there, teams have to deliver each item to its correct tribe to earn a necklace. Once all five necklaces are earned, teams must talk to the chief to receive their next clue."

"We'll do Tribes," said Sonic.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

"Detour - let's do Tribes," said Mr. Game and Watch.

_Peach & Samus  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"Let's go with Tribes," said Peach.

The three teams set off to the Cultural Village.

_2nd Portal Arrives_

_6:15 PM_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
__Currently in 4th Place_

"Let's take Tribes," said Pikachu.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__Currently in 5th Place_

"Why would we help those worthless tribes? Tunnels," said Ganondorf.

_4th Portal: 6:30 p.m._

_Captain Falcon & Meta Knight_

* * *

_Lesedi Cultural Village_

The teams got started.

"Okay, so is this the right one?" asked Marth.

The tribesman shook his head.

"No? Okay then."

"Is this the one you want?" asked Luigi.

The tribesman took it and exchanges it with a necklace.

Mr. Game & Watch flashed a thumbs-up sign.

Eventually…

_Sonic & Marth  
__2 of 5 completed_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__2 of 5 completed_

_Peach & Samus  
__2 of 5 completed_

A little later on…

"Hey, it's Pikachu and Yoshi!" said Peach.

Meanwhile…

"Is this the right one?" asked Sonic.

"The tribesman took it and exchanged it with a necklace."

"Yes! Thanks!"

Sonic and Marth went to the chief, then got their next clue.

_Sonic & Marth_  
_Currently in 1st Place_

"Go to the Hector Pieterson Museum," read Sonic.

"Teams must now make their way to the Hector Pieterson Museum," said Bill.

*screen cuts to the other teams*

Luigi: *gets clue* Go to the Hector Pieterson Museum.

_Peach & Samus  
__4 of 5 completed_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
__2 of 5 completed_

* * *

_Wild Caves_

The screen showed Ganondorf and Wario rappelling, then getting the clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"Go to the Hector Pieterson Museum," said Wario.

"Come on, hurry!" said Ganondorf.

* * *

_Lesedi Cultural Village_

"Okay, we got the last one," said Samus.

"Is this it?" asked Yoshi.

The tribesman exchanged it for a necklace.

"Yay!"

Samus and Yoshi got their clues.

_Peach & Samus  
__Currently in 4th Place_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
__Currently in 5th Place_

"Go to the Hector Pieterson Museum," read Peach.

R.O.B./Mario, Falco/Link, and Ness/Olimar then showed up.

Just a short time later…

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__Currently in 6th Place_

"Go to the Hector Pieterson Museum," said Mario.

"I can't believe we got all those right on our first try!" said R.O.B. excitedly.

_Falco & Link  
__Currently in 7th Place_

Falco and Link also got theirs right on the first go, and headed into their car.

_Ness & Olimar  
__1 of 5 completed_

* * *

_Hector Pieterson Museum_

Sonic: There's the clue box!

_Sonic & Marth  
__Currently in 1st Place_

Marth opened and read the clue.

"Take a taxi to Soccer City Stadium."

Teams must now take a taxi to Soccer City Stadium, host stadium to the 2010 FIFA World Cup," said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

"Take a taxi to Soccer City Stadium. Okay, let's go!" said Luigi.

* * *

_Lesedi Cultural Village_

_Ness & Olimar  
__3 of 5 completed_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__2 of 5 completed_

_Wolf & Lucas  
__0 of 5 completed_

"Ugh, this sucks! We've been here for twenty minutes and still all wrong! Oh, great, and here come Ike and Pit!" said a frustrated Wolf.

A few minutes later, they were still at it.

_Ness & Olimar  
__4 of 5 completed_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__3 of 5 completed_

_Wolf & Lucas  
__0 of 5 completed_

_Ike & Pit  
__1 of 5 completed_

"Really? We must be doing something wrong, but what?" said Lucas.

"I don't know and I don't care, as long as we get the clue!" said Wolf.

_Soccer City Stadium_

There was a cluebox there, and Sonic and Marth were first there. Marth took the clue.

Marth: Road Block! Who has an eye for goal?

Bill: Road Block! A Road Block is a task that only one person can complete!  
In this Road Block, that team member must step onto the pitch and score three goals past a goalkeeper. However, this is a professional South African goalkeeper, and this is not a designated power challenge, so it's much harder than it sounds.

Marth: Who has an eye for goal, huh? You do.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

Luigi: Road Block! Who has an eye for goal? I'll do it.

Night had fallen - it was now 8:15 PM.

Meanwhile…

_Lesedi Cultural Village_

_Ness & Olimar  
__4 of 5 completed_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__4 of 5 completed_

_Wolf & Lucas  
__2 of 5 completed_

_Captain Falcon & Meta Knight  
__1 of 5 completed_

_Ike & Pit  
__Currently in 8th Place_

Ike: Nice job Pit. *opens clue* Go to the Hector Pieterson Museum.

Ganondorf and Wario soon arrived at the stadium.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

Ganondorf: Road Block! Who has an eye for goal? I'll do it.

Sonic had missed his first three shots, skying two and having one saved. Luigi was faring better, having netted one.

_Sonic  
0 goals scored_

_Luigi  
__1 goal scored_

Meanwhile, back at the Cultural Village…

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__Currently in 9th Place_

_Wolf & Lucas  
__Currently in 10th Place_

_Ness & Olimar  
__Currently in 11th Place_

_Captain Falcon & Meta Knight  
__3 of 5 completed_

"Go to the Hector Pieterson Museum," read Kirby.

"I can't believe how much we sucked back there," said Olimar.

"Not our day," said Ness.

_Soccer City Stadium_

_Sonic  
__0 goals scored_

_Ganondorf  
__1 goal scored_

Luigi had just scored his third goal.

"Yes! That's #3!" said Luigi.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__Currently in 1st Place_

Luigi took the clue and read it.

"Make your way by the marked cars to Ngakane Street at Soweto Overlook, the pit stop. The last team to check in may be eliminated," said Luigi.

Mr. Game and Watch: Beep beep! (Let's go!)

Peach and Samus, Pikachu and Yoshi, R.O.B. and Mario, and Falco and Link had just got to the stadium.

Peach: Road block! Who has an eye for goal? I'll do it.

Marth just scored his third goal.

_Sonic & Marth  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

Make your way by the marked cars to Ngakane Street at Soweto Overlook, the pit stop. The last team to check in may be eliminated," said Marth.

_Ganondorf  
__2 goals scored_

* * *

_Hector Pieterson Museum_

_Ike & Pit  
__Currently in 8th Place_

Pit went to the cluebox and opened the envelope.

"Take a taxi to Soccer City Stadium."

_Soccer City Stadium_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated. Hurry!" said Ganondorf.

_Peach  
__2 goals scored_

_Yoshi  
__2 goals scored_

_Mario  
__1 goal scored_

_Link  
__2 goals scored_

* * *

_Ngakane Street_

Bill was waiting at the mat. Just then, Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch turned up.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are team number one!" said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__1st Place_

Cue celebrations from the two of them.

"And I have some good news for you," added Bill. "As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won an ATV, which you can enjoy after the race."

About ten minutes later, Sonic and Marth showed up.

"Sonic and Marth, you are the second team to arrive…"

Sonic and Marth looked at Bill apprehensively.

"but Sonic sped on the way to the portals." finished Bill. "You have received a 45-minute penalty."

"Thanks a lot, Sonic," said Marth, glaring at Sonic.

Meanwhile…

_Soccer City Stadium_

_Falco & Link  
__Currently in 4th Place_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
__Currently in 5th Place_

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated. Let's go!" said Yoshi.

_Peach  
__2 goals scored_

_Mario  
__2 goals scored_

_Pit  
__2 goals scored_

"Why is this so hard? Oh, great, here come Jigglypuff and Kirby!" said Peach.

"Who has an eye for goal?" read Kirby.

"You do!" said Jigglypuff.

"Okay!"

_Ngakane Street_

Ganondorf and Wario got to the mat.

"Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number two."

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__2nd Place_

_Soccer City Stadium_

_Peach  
__2 goals scored_

_Mario  
__2 goals scored_

_Kirby__  
0 goals scored_

_Lucas  
__0 goals scored_

At least get one in! You're playing like your namesake!" ranted Wolf.

"I don't believe it! We got passed by Ike and Pit!" said Peach.

_Ngakane Street_

"Falco and Link, you are team number three," said Bill.

_Falco & Link  
__3rd Place_

Relief, not delight, was what Falco and Link felt.

"I understand things didn't go down well at the portals?"

"Well, something like that…" said Link.

"Still, I can't believe we're third!" exclaimed Falco.

A few minutes later…

"Pikachu and Yoshi, you are team number four. Sonic and Marth, your penalty is over. You are team number five," said Bill.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
__4th Place_

_Sonic & Marth  
__5th Place_

"What the hell, Sonic! We lost three places!" ranted Marth.

"But we did it for SPEED!" said Sonic.

Marth facepalmed.

_Soccer City Stadium_

_Kirby  
1 goal scored_

_Lucas  
__0 goals scored_

_Ness  
__2 goals scored_

"This isn't working!" said Lucas, annoyed. "Oh, great, here come Falcon and Meta Knight!"

_Ngakane Street_

"Ike and Pit, you are team number six," said Bill.

_Ike & Pit  
__6th Place_

A few minutes later, Peach and Samus got to the mat.

"Peach and Samus, you are team number seven," said Bill.

_Peach & Samus  
__7th Place_

Peach and Samus looked rather disappointed, especially Peach.

"What's wrong?" asked Bill.

"We were doing so well until the road block. I let us down," said Peach.

"No, you didn't! Anyone could've sucked that badly," said Samus.

Peach burst into tears.

With that, they entered.

Then…

"R.O.B. and Mario, you are team number eight," said Bill.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__8th Place_

"Well, that's decent," said Mario.

_Soccer City Stadium_

_Ness  
__2 goals scored_

_Captain Falcon  
__1 goal scored_

Captain Falcon was about to take a kick.

"FAAAALCOOOON KIIIICK!" screamed Captain Falcon.

Captain Falcon skied the ball.

"Nice shot, Fernando Torres," said Meta Knight snarkily.

Captain Falcon pointed at Meta Knight.

"YOU! SHUT UP!"

Meanwhile, back at the pit stop, Bill was still at the mat. Then, four figures ran towards the mat - Jigglypuff, Kirby, Wolf, and Lucas.

The camera zoomed in on Bill. They seemed to have gotten to the mat at the same time. However, Bill saw who made it first.

Bill: Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number nine. Wolf and Lucas, that would make you two team number ten.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__9th Place_

_Wolf & Lucas  
__10th Place_

"That challenge was really hard, wasn't it?" asked Bill.

Kirby and Lucas nodded.

"Yeah, especially for me. I can't believe we're not eliminated!" said a relieved Lucas.

_Soccer City Stadium_

_Ness  
__2 goals scored_

_Captain Falcon  
__2 goals scored_

Eventually, Ness scored his third goal and picked up the clue for his team.

_Ngakane Street_

Ness and Olimar steeped onto the mat.

"Ness and Olimar, you are team number eleven. You're still in the race!" said Bill.

_Ness & Olimar  
__11th Place_

"Really?" said Ness, in a state of shock.

"Really," said Bill.

"That's awesome! I was sure we'd be eliminated," said Olimar.

Later, Captain Falcon and Meta Knight got to the pit stop. Meta Knight knew what was about to happen, but Captain Falcon didn't realize that they were in last place.

"Captain Falcon and Meta Knight, you are the last team to arrive," said Bill.

_Captain Falcon & Meta Knight  
__Last Place_

"NO WAY!" cried a stunned Captain Falcon/

"Yes, way. I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race. Any final thoughts on your partner?" said Bill.

"Okay, but is this a family show?" asked Meta Knight.

"Yes."

"Never mind."

**Finish Times:**

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch: 9:03 PM

Ganondorf and Wario: 9:29 PM

Falco and Link: 9:52 PM

Pikachu and Yoshi: 9:56 PM

Sonic and Marth: 9:57 PM

Ike and Pit: 10:34 PM

Peach and Samus: 10:42 PM

R.O.B. and Mario: 10:45 PM

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 11:03 PM

Wolf and Lucas: 11:04 PM

Ness and Olimar: 11:20 PM

Captain Falcon and Meta Knight: 11:24 PM (Eliminated)

**Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:**

A two-way task, literally!

_Luigi read out the clue._

_"Detour: In One End or Out the Other."_

The first Yield of the race!

_"Yield!" said Bill. "In a Yield, a team can make another team stop racing for a predetermined amount of time!_

And, a new addition specifically for the Brawl characters!

Don't miss it!

**Author's Note: Comments and reviews are always welcome. Also, sorry to the Liverpool fans out there! XD**


	2. It'll Ward Off the Vampires!

"Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, twelve teams set off on a race around the world!" said Bill.

"_GO!"_

"Teams went to the human-world portal, but on the way there, problems arose for some teams, whether externally…"

_Gimme the wheel!" _

_Captain Falcon steered the car into a ditch._

"…or internally."

_"Hey, WHO didn't drive quickly enough?" answered Link._

_"Do you WANT us to speed and get penalized later?" raged Falco._

"In South Africa, some teams ran into trouble at the Detour."

_Screen cuts to Ness, Olimar, Wolf, and Lucas getting it wrong at the Detour._

"At the Road Block, some succeeded…"

_Screen cuts to Pit scoring a goal._

"…while others struggled."

_Screen cuts to Peach missing the target three times in a row._

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch put together a seamless leg…

_"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are team number one!" said Bill._

"…to finish first!"

"Sonic and Marth, who led for most of the leg, were penalized and dropped to fifth."

_"Sonic and Marth, you are the second team to arrive…"_

_Sonic and Marth looked at Bill apprehensively._

_"but Sonic sped on the way to the portals." finished Bill. "You have received a 45-minute penalty."_

"In the end, Captain Falcon's early blunder put paid to his and Meta Knight's hopes, consigning them to the ignominy of being the first team to be eliminated."

_"Captain Falcon and Meta Knight, you are the last team to arrive," said Bill._

_"NO WAY!"_

"Can Ness and Olimar rebound from last place? Will infighting in some teams derail their chances? And are the teams ready for a big surprise? Eleven teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?"

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

Ike & Pit

R.O.B. & Mario

Peach & Samus

Wolf & Lucas

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Ness & Olimar

Pikachu & Yoshi

Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch

Falco & Link

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, who were first to arrive at 9:03 PM, will depart at 9:03 AM," said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
1st to depart, 9:03 AM_

"You must make your way by taxi to Krugersdorp. You have $84 for this leg of the race, not including air fare," read Luigi.

"Teams must now travel 29 kilometres by taxi to the town of Krugersdorp. In the city center, they will find a cluebox containing their next clue," said Master Hand.

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch soon got a taxi. Because the taxi averaged 65 kilometres an hour, they were almost there when Ganondorf and Wario departed.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
2nd to depart, 9:29 AM_

Wario opened the clue and read, "You must make your way by taxi to Krugersdorp. You have $84 for this leg of the race, not including air fare."

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Interview before leg_

"I'm very pleased with how the first leg went," said Ganondorf.

"We'll get Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you just wait and see," said Wario.

"This race will belong to TEAM EVIL!" said Ganondorf exuberantly.

_Krugersdorp_

"There's the cluebox!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

"Let's go!" said Luigi.

Mr. Game and Watch read the clue.

"Fly across the nation to Cape Town, South Africa," said Mr. Game and Watch.

"Teams must fly one thousand and four hundred kilometres to Cape Town, South Africa," said Bill. "Once there, they will go to the cluebox in the airport and take the clue."

"Let's go! Taxi!" shouted Luigi.

_Falco & Link  
3rd to depart, 9:52 AM_

"…make your way by taxi to Krugersdorp. You have $84 for this leg of the race, not including air fare," read Link.

"Okay. Note to self: Don't piss Link off again," said Falco to himself.

"Falco, if you screw this up again, I'm driving from here on in," said Link.

"My God…"

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
4th to depart, 9:56 AM_

"…make your way by taxi to Krugersdorp," read Yoshi.

"Hurry! It's Sonic and Marth!" said Pikachu.

_Sonic & Marth  
5th to depart, 9:57 AM_

"You must make your way by taxi to Krugersdorp," read Sonic.

"Good thing it's by taxi," said Marth.

"What are you implying?"

_Krugersdorp_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Fly… …to Cape Town, South Africa!" read Wario.

"Okay! We'd better hurry!" said Ganondorf.

_OR Tambo International Airport_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Do you have tickets to Cape Town?" asked Luigi.

"Yes, there are. South Africa Airways at 11:40 AM to land at 1:50 PM," said the attendant.

Meanwhile…

"Mister! Overtake that taxi in front of us!" said Marth.

"Okay!"

Just then, a car cut between both taxis.

"Oh, what the hell!" said Sonic.

"Seriously?" said Marth.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Yay!" said Pikachu.

"Awesome!" cheered Yoshi.

_OR Tambo International Airport_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

After looking at the flight board, Wario said, "We better hurry! The next flight leaves at 11:40!"

Ganondorf and Wario hurried over to the ticket counter.

"Are there any more tickets left for South Africa Airways at 11:40 AM to Cape Town?"

"Yes, just two."

"We'll take them!" said Ganondorf.

_Ike & Pit  
6th to depart, 10:34 AM_

"You must make your way by taxi to Krugersdorp. You have $84 for this leg of the race, not including air fare, read Ike.

_Ike & Pit  
Interview before leg_

"I can't believe we came from last to finish sixth!" said Pit.

"We did really well in the second half of that first leg," said Ike.

"Now for a leg victory!" said Pit. Then he added his trademark line, "The fight is on!"

_Peach & Samus  
7th to depart, 10:42 AM_

"You must make your way by taxi to Krugersdorp," read Peach.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
8th to depart, 10:45 AM_

"You have $84 for this leg of the race," said Mario.

"Let's go!"

On the way to the airport…

"Pass that taxi! Hurry!" said Pikachu to the taxi driver, urgently.

Pikachu and Yoshi's taxi passed Falco and Link's taxi.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 3rd Place_

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Are you kidding me?" said Falco.

"Woo!" cheered Yoshi.

Pikachu and Yoshi waved at Falco and Link as they passed by.

Later…

_OR Tambo International Airport_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 3rd Place_

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 4th Place_

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Okay, the next flight is at 12:50 PM by British Airways," said Falco, after looking at the board.

All three teams got tickets for the 12:50 PM flight.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
9th to depart, 11:03 AM_

"You must make your way by taxi to Krugersdorp," read Kirby.

"We have to make up ground!" said Jigglypuff.

"Yeah, you're right."

_Wolf & Lucas  
10th to depart, 11:04 AM_

"…make your way by taxi to Krugersdorp. You have $84 for this leg of the race," read Lucas.

_Krugersdorp_

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 7th Place_

Samus opened the clue.

"Fly one thousand and four hundred kilometers to Cape Town, South Africa."

"Okay! Let's go!"

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 8th Place_

Fly one thousand and four hundred kilometers to Cape Town, South Africa," read Mario.

_OR Tambo International Airport_

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Do you have tickets to Cape Town?" asked Pit.

"The next open flight is by South Africa Airways," said the attendant. "It leaves at 1:00 PM and lands at 3:10 PM."

_Ness & Olimar_  
_Last to depart, 11:20 AM_

"You have $84 for this leg of the race," read Olimar.

"Being last sucks," said Ness.

"Screw the detour," said Olimar.

About an hour and a half later…

_OR Tambo International Airport_

Wolf and Lucas had just gotten their tickets.

"You have your tickets for the 2:00 PM British Airways flight," said the attendant.

Ness and Olimar then ran up to the counter.

"What's the next flight to Cape Town?"

"2:00 PM. British Airways."

"We'll take two tickets, then."

All of the teams now had their tickets, and all the teams, with the exceptions of Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch and Ganondorf and Wario, who were on their flights, were now at the airport.

"Which flight are you on, Peach?" asked Kirby.

"The 1:00 flight," said Peach.

"Crap.," said Jigglypuff.

"All teams are now on direct flights to Cape Town," said Bill. "On the 11:40 AM South Africa Airways flight are Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch and Ganondorf and Wario. On the 12:50 PM British Airways flight are Pikachu and Yoshi, Falco and Link, and Sonic and Marth. On the 1:00 PM South Africa Airways flight are Ike and Pit, Peach and Samus, and R.O.B. and Mario. On the 2:00 PM British Airways flight are Jigglypuff and Kirby, Wolf and Lucas, and Ness and Olimar."

_1st Flight  
Cape Town International Airport  
Landed at 1:50 PM_

"Okay, let's find the cluebox!" said Luigi.

The teams ran frantically around the airport. Ganondorf and Wario were first to find the cluebox. Ganondorf tore open the clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Make your way by taxi to Signal Hill," read Ganondorf. "Warning: Yield Ahead."

"Teams must now make their way by taxi to Signal Hill. There is a Yield there, so teams must hurry," said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Make your way by taxi to Signal Hill. Warning: Yield Ahead," read Mr. Game and Watch.

"Pretty chill - we and Ganondorf and Wario have a good hour on the others," said Luigi.

Later, in the taxis, their taxi closed in on Ganondorf and Wario's taxi.

"Mister! Pass that taxi!" said Luigi.

Pass them, they did.

"Who's evil now, huh?" said Mr. Game and Watch, with a smirk.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Are you kidding me?" yelled Ganondorf. "Okay then, we need to come up with a plan. Either we yield someone else or…"

"Or get garlic?" asked Wario.

"NO! WE DON'T GET GARLIC!" yelled Ganondorf.

"It'll ward off the vampires!" exclaimed Wario.

"Ward off the vampires? Okay! Garlic it is!"

_Signal Hill_

"There's the cluebox!" exclaimed Luigi.

"And the Yield!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Yield!" said Bill. "In a Yield, a team can make another team stop racing for a predetermined amount of time!  
When teams exercise their yield power, they force another team to flip over this hourglass and stop that team from racing until the hourglass has run out.  
For a yield to be exercised properly they can only yield teams that are behind them. This is one of four yields on the race, and teams may only use their powers once, so they must decide when it is most applicable."

"Let's not yield. And the clue is…"

Luigi opened the clue.

"Drive to Killarney Motor Racing Complex," read Luigi.

"Teams must now drive to Killarney Motor Racing Complex," said Bill.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"…okay, Wario, I'll buy you the garlic after we finish the leg," said Ganondorf.

"Fine," said Wario.

"In any case, here's the clue," said Ganondorf. "Drive to Killarney Motor Racing Complex," he read.

"Oh, and let's yield R.O.B. and Mario!" said Wario. excitedly.

"Good idea," said Ganondorf.

Ganondorf and Wario stuck a picture of R.O.B. and Mario onto the Yield board, and added their own picture to the "Courtesy of…" section in the lower right-hand corner of the board. Then, they added a Post-It note saying "YOU SUCK!"

"We choose to yield R.O.B. and Mario because they suck," said Wario.

Ganondorf opened the clue.

"Drive to Killarney Racing Complex," read Ganondorf.

_Killarney Racing Complex_

"There's the clue!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch hurried to the cluebox.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Battle! Are you ready to drag on?" read Luigi.

"Battle!" said Master Hand. "Battle challenges are challenges where both team members fight against a boss. If the team defeats the boss, the attendant will give them their next clue. If the team fails to defeat the boss, the team will be given a one-hour penalty. If either or both of the team members are still unconscious after one hour, the attendant will inject whoever is still unconscious with a chemical to restore their consciousness. Once the penalty is served, the team will receive their next clue. In this Battle, teams will fight Rayquaza."

With a deafening roar, Rayquaza flew onto the battlefield.

Luigi shot a flurry of green fireballs at Rayquaza. Mr. Game and Watch followed his partner's lead and used Judge, getting the full 9, for huge damage!

"Yeah! Nice hit!" said Luigi.

Rayquaza then set off an explosion, doing damage to both Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch. Mr. Game and Watch then fired back with another Judge attack. It was Judge 4.

_Luigi: 26% damage_  
_Mr. Game and Watch: 28% damage_  
_Rayquaza: 71% HP left_

Then, Ganondorf and Wario turned up.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

But…

"I'm sorry, but you must wait until this fight is over," said the attendant.

"Okay," said Ganondorf.

"God, that sucks!" said Wario angrily.

"If they win this battle, we won't win this leg," said Ganondorf in an almost resigned tone.

Meanwhile, Luigi then attacked with Luigi Cyclone.

Rayquaza suddenly burrowed underground.

"Where'd he go?"

Rayquaza then came up and slammed Luigi for huge damage.

Mr. Game and Watch attacked Rayquaza with Chef.

_Luigi: 47% damage  
Mr. Game and Watch: 28% damage  
Rayquaza: 63% HP left_

Mr. Game and Watch then followed up with another Judge. It was Judge 7. Luigi quickly picked up the food item.

Luigi shot more fireballs at Rayquaza.

Rayquaza let loose more explosions.

_Luigi: 68% damage_  
_Mr. Game and Watch: 53% damage_  
_Rayquaza: 50% HP left_

_2nd Flight  
Cape Town International Airport  
Landed at 3:00 PM_

Pikachu and Yoshi and Falco and Link found the cluebox within two minutes.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Make your way by taxi to Signal Hill," read Pikachu.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Warning: Yield Ahead," read Link.

About a minute later, Sonic and Marth got their clue.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Make your way by taxi to Signal Hill. Warning: Yield Ahead," read Sonic.

"Yield?" said Marth. "Oh crap, we better go!"

_Killarney Racing Complex_

"Here goes!"

Luigi fired another round of green fireballs.

Rayquaza was defeated!

"Well done! Here's your next clue," said the attendant.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Drive 165 kilometres to the Aquila Game Park Reserve," read Mr. Game and Watch.

"Teams must now drive 165 kilometres to the Aquila Game Park Reserve, where they will find their next clue," said Bill.

As soon as Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch got into their car, Ganondorf and Wario got onto the battlefield.

Ganondorf started off with a Warlock Punch, and Wario attempted a Chomp, but he missed.

Rayquaza then swept its tail across the ground, damaging both Ganondorf and Wario.

_Ganondorf: 22% damage  
Wario: 24% damage  
Rayquaza: 93% HP left_

Ganondorf again fired Warlock Punch.

Wario used Corkscrew.

Rayquaza again used its tail-sweep.

"This isn't working!" said Wario.

_Ganondorf: 40% damage  
Wario: 46% damage  
Rayquaza: 84% HP left_

_3rd Flight  
Cape Town International Airport  
Landed at 3:10 PM_

"Hurry! We need that clue!" said Ike.

"There's the cluebox!" said Mario.

However, Peach and Samus were already there.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Make your way by taxi to Signal Hill. Warning: Yield Ahead," read Samus.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 7th Place_

R.O.B. picked up and opened the clue and read, "Make your way by taxi to Signal Hill. Warning: Yield Ahead."

Ike and Pit were still searching for the clue.

_Signal Hill_

"There's the clue!" said Falco.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Drive to Killarney Racing Complex," said Falco.

Just then, Pikachu and Yoshi showed up. After they got their clue, they headed into the car. Before too long, they caught up to Falco and Link.

"It's Falco and Link! Pass them!" said Pikachu excitedly to Yoshi, who was driving.

Yoshi duly obliged.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 3rd Place_

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Yeah!" cheered Yoshi.

"We did it!" said Pikachu.

"Oh, COME ON!" said Falco angrily.

"Total suckage," said Link.

_Killarney Racing Complex_

"WARLOCK PUNCH!" screamed Ganondorf.

That Warlock Punch KO'd Rayquaza.

"Well done! Here's your next clue."

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Drive 165 kilometres to the Aquila Game Park Reserve," read Wario.

"Okay, let's go!"

"We did awesome there."

_Signal Hill_

Peach and Samus had just gotten the clue and left when R.O.B. and Mario got there. However, they realized that they'd been yielded!

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 7th Place_

"Oh! Mama mia!" said Mario in his trademark style of saying that phrase.

"It's from Ganondorf and Wario," said R.O.B.

"And we do not suck!" exclaimed Mario.

"Yeah, we blow!" said R.O.B.

Later…

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 7th Place_

"Drive to Killarney Motor Racing Complex," read Pit. "Let's go!"

"R.O.B. and Mario got yielded. Awesome!" said Ike.

_Killarney Racing Complex_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Battle! Are you ready to drag on?" read Yoshi.

"Let's do it!" said Pikachu.

Rayquaza entered the arena.

However…

"I'll use Skull Bash!" decided Pikachu.

"No, you won't!" said Yoshi.

"Why the HELL are you telling me what to do?" retorted Pikachu.

The argument went on for about five minutes, when Pikachu and Yoshi were soundly defeated. Falco and Link then stepped onto the battlefield, and then Rayquaza appeared.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 4th Place_

Falco and Link both opened with side smashes.

Rayquaza countered with a tail-sweep, which hit them both.

_Falco: 23% damage  
Link: 19% damage  
Rayquaza: 91% HP left_

Rayquaza then shot a ball of electricity which hit them both. Falco attempted a Falco Phantasm, but he missed. Link used Hero's Bow.

Sonic and Marth then showed up.

Attendant: You'll have to wait in line.

Soon…

"Taste my fury! Standard Smash!"

Falco missed. Rayquaza took the opportunity to KO Falco. Link had already been KO'd.

Falco and Link received a one-hour penalty, and later…

"Here I go-AAAAAAGGGHHH!"

That was Marth. Sonic had already been KO'd as well.

Later…

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Battle! Are you ready to drag on?" read Peach.

Rayquaza entered the arena.

Peach opened with Peach Bomber, while Samus used her Neutral Air.

Rayquaza replied by setting off an explosion.

_Peach: 20% damage  
Samus: 6% damage  
Rayquaza: 94% HP left_

Samus used Missile.

Peach added to the damage by using her Down Air.

Rayquaza went with a tail-sweep.

_Peach: 39% damage_

_Samus: 30% damage_

_Rayquaza: 84% HP left_

* * *

_4th Flight_

_Cape Town International Airport  
Landed at 4:10 PM_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 9th Place_

_Wolf & Lucas  
Currently in 10th Place_

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in Last Place_

The next scene was a montage of the three teams as they read the clue.

"Make your way by…" (Kirby)

"…taxi to Signal Hill." (Wolf)

"Ness: Warning: Yield Ahead." (Ness)

_Killarney Racing Complex_

Peach used Peach Bomber. It KO'd Rayquaza!

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Well done! Here's your next clue," said the attendant.

"Drive 165 kilometres to the Aquila Game Park Reserve," read Samus.

_Aquila Game Park Reserve_

"Here's the clue!" said Luigi.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

Luigi read out the clue.

"Detour: In One End or Out the Other."

"A detour is a choice between two tasks! In this detour: In One End or Out the Other!  
In In One End, teams must gather 100 kilograms of elephant feed and feed them to the elephants to receive their next clue!" said Bill.

"In Out the Other, teams must clear the elephant stalls of… uhh… yeah. Once they've cleared out a sufficient amount, they will receive their next clue."

"This is a power-designated challenge, so teams may use their powers."

"We'll do In One End," said Mr. Game and Watch.

_Killarney Racing Complex_

_Ike: KO'd  
Pit: 139% damage  
Rayquaza: 20% HP left_

Rayquaza tail-swept again. It knocked Pit way out! A one-hour penalty to Ike and Pit.

Then, Pikachu and Yoshi, who had regained consciousness, had their one-hour time penalty run out.

"Your time penalty is over. Here's your next clue," said the attendant.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 4th Place_

"…Aquila Game Park Reserve. Okay then!"

"Thanks a lot, Yoshi. You lost us an hour!"

"Me? It was your fault!"

I did my part! You slacked off!"

It continued like that for a while.

_Aquila Game Park Reserve_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
97 kilograms left_

"This is harder than it looks!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

_Killarney Racing Complex_

Falco and Link had just completed their one-hour penalty.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Drive 165 kilometres to Aquila Game Park Reserve," read Link.

" "Game Park"? Okay then, watch me own you at Counterstrike!" said Falco.

Link facepalmed, then said, "That's not what it means! A game park is…"

"…is what?"

"…a place where people park trucks full of video games!"

"Oh, now I get it!" said Falco.

_Aquila Game Park Reserve_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Detour: In One End or Out the Other," read Ganondorf.

"Obviously, In One End," said Wario.

"Hey, Luigi and Game and Watch are still here!" said Ganondorf.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
81 kilograms left_

"Hurry, Wario!"

"Shut up! I'm going as fast as I can!"

_Ganondorf & Wario  
98 kilograms left_

_Killarney Racing Complex_

Sonic and Marth had just left, having served their one-hour penalty. R.O.B. and Mario entered the arena to fight Rayquaza.

Mario and R.O.B. opened with side-smashes. Rayquaza burrowed underground, and then slammed R.O.B.

_R.O.B.: 21% damage  
Mario: 0% damage  
Rayquaza: 94% damage_

* * *

_Aquila Game Park Reserve_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
70 kilograms left_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
83 kilograms left_

"We have to stay ahead of them!" said Luigi.

"We're not that far behind! Step on it!" said Ganondorf excitedly.

Meanwhile…

_Killarney Racing Complex_

R.O.B. and Mario had been defeated, and received a one-hour penalty.

Jigglypuff and Kirby were next.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 9th Place_

"Battle! Are you ready to drag on?" read Jigglypuff.

Incredibly, they made quick work of Rayquaza, beating it in just four minutes!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 7th Place_

"Drive 165 kilometres to Aquila Game Park Reserve," read Kirby.

"That was awesome!" said Jigglypuff.

Wolf and Lucas then attempted to beat Rayquaza, but they failed.

_Aquila Game Park Reserve_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
40 kilograms left_

"We just need to stay ahead by about this much, and we'll be fine," said Luigi.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
50 kilograms left_

"They're still going along at a good pace!" said Wario.

"But we can carry more than they can," said Ganondorf. "We just need to keep going."

_Killarney Racing Complex_

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in Last Place_

"We've been last all through this leg," said Ness.

"Three teams are still being penalized. If we win this battle, we could still make it," said Olimar.

To start off, Ness used PK Fire, while Olimar used a side-smash.

_Aquila Game Park Reserve_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
34 kilograms left_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
42 kilograms left_

Meanwhile…

_Killarney Racing Complex_

"PK Fire!" shouted Ness.

That PK Fire was the finishing move against Rayquaza.

"Well done! Here's your next clue," said the attendant.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Drive 165 kilometres to Aquila Game Park Reserve," read Ness.

Two minutes later, Ike and Pit were cleared of their time penalty. Later, in the cars…

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 9th Place_

"It's Ness and Olimar!" said Ike.

"Let's pass them if we can!" said Pit.

They passed them.

"Well, we'll re-overtake them," said Olimar.

And, they did!

"We got re-passed!" said a frustrated Ike.

_Aquila Game Park Reserve_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
2 kilograms left_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
7 kilograms left_

"Just a little more to go!" said Luigi.

In just a few more minutes, Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch were finished! They got their next clue.

"Follow the race markers on foot to the mat here at Aquila Game Park Reserve. The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Luigi.

"Aquila Game Park Reserve, the venue of this leg's detour, is the second pit stop in a race around the world. The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Bill.

At the mat, Bill was waiting there for the teams. Then, Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch came tearing towards the mat.

They stepped onto the mat.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are again team number one!" said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
1st Place_

"And I have some good news for you. As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won $15,000!"

"Well, you two are really looking like the team to beat, huh?"

"So far, so good!" said Mr. Game and Watch happily.

A few minutes later, Ganondorf and Wario showed up at the mat.

"Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number two," said Bill.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"The gap was just too big to overhaul," said Wario.

"Well, it was still a valiant effort," said Bill.

Just then, Peach and Samus arrived at the reserve.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Let's do In One End," said Peach.

Soon…

"Why aren't you carrying anything?" fumed Samus.

"I'm trying!" whinged Peach.

"You're hardly carrying anything!" raged Samus.

"Shut up!"

_Killarney Racing Complex_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 10th Place_

After Mario was revived from unconsciousness, they received their next clue.

"Drive 165 kilometres to Aquila Game Park Reserve," read Mario.

_Aquila Game Park Reserve_

Pikachu and Yoshi turned up.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Obviously, In One End," said Pikachu.

Ten minutes later…

_Peach & Samus  
91 kilograms left_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
93 kilograms left_

"Yoshi's using Egg Lay to turn the elephant food into eggs for split-seconds," noted Peach.

"We have to hurry!" said Samus.

"Keep using that Egg Lay attack!" urged Pikachu.

"Okay!"

Within the next fifteen minutes, Falco and Link and Sonic and Marth had joined them. Sonic and Marth had just started.

"Okay, if we hurry, we may even come third!" said Link.

The screen cut to each team working on the food load, and it displayed the amount left to haul.

_Peach & Samus  
78 kilograms left_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
72 kilograms left_

_Falco & Link  
83 kilograms left_

_Sonic & Marth  
99 kilograms left_

Later…

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 7th Place_

"Detour, huh? Okay, let's do In One End," said Kirby.

During the Detour…

"I can use Inhale for this!" said Kirby.

_Peach & Samus  
51 kilograms left_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
41 kilograms left_

_Falco & Link  
68 kilograms left_

_Sonic & Marth  
74 kilograms left_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
92 kilograms left_

"We're GOING NOWHERE!" yelled Samus. She pointed at Peach. "And YOU'RE doing nothing!"

"Stop being so GODDAMN DEMANDING!" fired back Peach.

"My God, why me?" said Samus to herself.

"Because you're a whore," said Yoshi.

"You take that back right now," said Samus, pointing her gun at Yoshi.

Later…

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Everyone else is doing In One End. Let's join them!" said Olimar.

_Peach & Samus  
34 kilograms left_

Peach pulled out Toad.

Toad and Peach started adding food to the pile.

"Finally! NOW we're getting somewhere," said Samus.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
21 kilograms left_

Yoshi turned some more elephant food into and egg before adding it to the pile.

_Falco & Link  
43 kilograms left_

"After us, Peach and Samus have the least," said Falco.

"We have to step up the pace!" said Link.

_Sonic & Marth  
63 kilograms left_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
75 kilograms left_

"We can do this if you suck!" said Jigglypuff.

Kirby's expression could be summed up as this: -.-

Five minutes later…

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 9th Place_

"Yeah, we're doing In One End," said Pit.

Soon…

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
1 kilogram left_

"This egg contains the last bit," said Yoshi.

Pikachu broke it open and added the food to the pile. They were done!

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Follow the race markers on foot to the mat here at Aquila Game Park Reserve. The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Pikachu.

At the mat…

"Pikachu and Yoshi, you are team number three," said Bill.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
3rd Place_

Later, back at the Detour…

_Peach & Samus  
9 kilograms left_

_Falco & Link  
10 kilograms left_

_Sonic & Marth  
15 kilograms left_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
26 kilograms left_

_Ness & Olimar  
70 kilograms left_

_Ike & Pit  
75 kilograms left_

"Peach, let's up the pace! Falco and Link are gaining on us!"

Incredibly, they finished the challenge ten seconds apart!

The mat beckoned. Bill stood there expectantly.

Dramatic music played.

Both teams emerged, and both teams reached the mat at seemingly the same time!

"Could we have an action replay?" asked Bill.

The producer tossed Bill a cheat device.

"Not THAT sort of Action Replay!" said Bill.

"Okay, okay!" said the producer.

The tape rolled.

"Peach and Samus, by six centimetres, you are team number four! Falco and Link, you are team number five," said Bill.

_Peach & Samus  
4th Place_

_Falco & Link  
5th Place_

Link started laughing.

"Hahaha! Six centimetres! That's epic!" said Link.

"Link! That's disgusting, you perv!" said Samus.

"Says the person who takes off her clothes in battle!"

Samus slugged Link.

At the Detour…

R.O.B. and Mario showed up.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 10th Place_

"Detour: In One End or Out the Other," read Mario.

"We're better off doing In One End," said R.O.B.

_Sonic & Marth  
2 kilograms left_

"We can still make it! Hurry!" said Marth.

" "Hurry" is my middle name," said Sonic.

"Isn't your middle name Theodore?"

"Yes, but that's not the point!"

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
2 kilograms left_

"Just a little more to go!" said Jigglypuff.

"We did pretty damn awesome today!" said Kirby.

_Ness & Olimar  
44 kilograms left_

_Ike & Pit  
51 kilograms left_

Soon…

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Follow the race markers on foot to the mat here at Aquila Game Park Reserve," read Sonic.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 7th Place_

"The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Kirby.

However, in the end, Sonic and Marth's superior speed won out, and they got to the mat first.

"Sonic and Marth, you are team number six," said Bill.

_Sonic & Marth  
6th Place_

"Meh, we did okay, I suppose," said Marth, somewhat satisfied.

"We should've won against Rayquaza, though," said Sonic.

Then, Jigglypuff and Kirby came up to the mat.

"Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number seven," said Bill.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
7th Place_

Jigglypuff and Kirby slapped a high-five upon hearing that.

Meanwhile, Wolf and Lucas had made it to the reserve.

_Wolf & Lucas  
Currently in Last Place_

"In One End or Out the Other?" read Lucas.

"In One End," said Wolf.

Ten minutes later…

_Ness & Olimar  
1 kilogram left_

"Just this last bit left!" said Ness.

Olimar and the Pikmin added the last bit. They got their clue!

"The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Ness.

Soon, they were at the mat.

"Ness and Olimar, you are team number eight."

_Ness & Olimar  
8th Place_

Back at the Detour…

_Ike & Pit  
4 kilograms left_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
73 kilograms left_

_Wolf & Lucas  
90 kilograms left_

"I'll use my PSI powers for this!" said Lucas.

He ended up setting some of the elephant food ablaze.

"Don't," said Wolf.

Soon, Ike and Pit were done and checked in.

"Ike and Pit, you are team number nine," said Bill.

_Ike & Pit  
9th Place_

Ike and Pit were rather disappointed, but stepped through anyway.

Almost a full hour later, R.O.B. and Mario finished their Detour and got to the mat.

"R.O.B. and Mario, you are team number ten," said Bill.

_R.O.B. and Mario  
10th Place_

"You mean we're still in?" said R.O.B.

Bill: Yes, you are.

About twenty-odd minutes later, rather anticlimactically, Wolf and Lucas came trudging up to the mat.

"Wolf and Lucas, you are the last team to arrive," said Bill.

_Wolf & Lucas  
Last Place_

"I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race," said Bill. "Any final comments?"

"It sucks leaving this early. Still, I couldn't have picked anyone better to do this with," said Wolf.

"Neither could I - except for Ness!" said Lucas.

"What?" said Wolf.

"Never mind."

**Finish Times:**

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch: 5:46 PM

Ganondorf and Wario: 5:50 PM

Pikachu and Yoshi: 7:13 PM

Peach and Samus: 7:33 PM

Falco and Link: 7:33 PM

Sonic and Marth: 7:48 PM

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 7:49 PM

Ness and Olimar: 8:10 PM

Ike and Pit: 8:17 PM

R.O.B. and Mario: 9:12 PM

Wolf and Lucas: 9:35 PM (Eliminated)

**Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:**

Teams get swampy!

_"There's nothing we can do about this!" said Samus._

A battle that's all "mine"!

_"Battle! Are you ready for gallons of power?" read Ness._

And, tempers flare between Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch!

_"No, I don't! In fact, I think you're totally wrong..." ...responded Luigi, rather heatedly._

Don't miss it!


	3. Plus, You're a Metalhead!

"Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, teams flew across South Africa to Cape Town!," said Bill. R.O.B. and Mario were the first team to be yielded.

_Ganondorf and Wario stuck a picture of R.O.B. and Mario onto the Yield board, and added their own picture to the "Courtesy of…" section in the lower right-hand corner of the board._

_"Oh! Mama mia!" said Mario in his trademark style of saying that phrase._

_"It's from Ganondorf and Wario," said R.O.B._

"In the first Battle challenge of the race, teams battled against Rayquaza. Jigglypuff and Kirby blazed through the battle…"

_Screen cuts to Kirby finishing off Rayquaza._

"…while others floundered."

_Screen cuts to Falco and Link getting KO'd._

"At the Detour, it was a close race between Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch and Ganondorf and Wario…"

_"Just a little more to go!" said Luigi._

"…but Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch were able to withstand a spirited fightback by Ganondorf and Wario…"

_"__Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are again team number one!" said Master Hand.  
_

"…to win their second leg."

"Peach and Samus bickered at the Detour."

_"Why aren't you carrying anything?" fumed Samus._

_"I'm trying!" whinged Peach._

_"You're hardly carrying anything!" raged Samus._

_"Shut up!"_

"As it turned out, Wolf and Lucas ended up almost four hours down on the leaders and were duly eliminated."

_"__I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race," said Bill.  
_

"Can R.O.B. and Mario recover from a poor second leg that dropped them to last? Can Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch keep up their lead? And can Peach and Samus pull it together after their Detour misadventure? Ten teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?"

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

Ike & Pit

R.O.B. & Mario

Peach & Samus

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Ness & Olimar

Pikachu & Yoshi

Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch

Falco & Link

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, who were first to arrive at 5:46 PM, will depart at 5:46 AM."

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__1st to depart, 5:46 AM_

"You must fly to Helsinki, Finland. You have $69 for this leg of the race," read Luigi.

"Teams must now fly over ten thousand kilometres to Helsinki, Finland. They will find their next clue outside the airport," said Bill.

"Let's make it three in a row!" said Luigi exuberantly.

"Hattrick, here we come!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__2nd to depart, 5:50 AM_

"You must fly to Helsinki, Finland. You have $69 for this leg of the race," read Wario.

"Let's go!"

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
3rd to depart, 7:13 AM_

"You must fly to Helsinki, Finland. You have $69 for this leg of the race," read Pikachu.

"We're an hour and a half behind. We really need to step on it," said Yoshi.

_Peach & Samus  
4th to depart, 7:33 AM_

"…fly to Helsinki, Finland," read Samus.

"We can't have what happened yesterday happening again," said Peach.

Samus: Agreed.

_Falco & Link  
5th to depart, 7:34 AM_

"You have $69 for this leg of the race," read Falco.

_Sonic & Marth  
__6th to depart, 7:48 AM_

"You must fly to Helsinki, Finland. You have $69 for this leg of the race," read Sonic.

"If all of us take the same flight, we may be back in this!" said Marth.

"Let's hope that there's just one flight," said Sonic.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
7th to depart, 7:49 AM_

"You must fly to Helsinki, Finland," read Jigglypuff.

Kirby checked a map.

"10,000 kilometres?"

"Right across the human world," said Jigglypuff.

_Cape Town International Airport_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Do you have any tickets to Helsinki?" asked Mr. Game and Watch.

"We can get you on a 1:50 PM flight to Paris, where you can connect to Helsinki," said the attendant. "You will land in Helsinki at 11:30 AM tomorrow."

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"You can get a 1:50 PM flight to Paris. If you connect, you'll land in Helsinki at 11:30 AM tomorrow," said the attendant.

Later…

"Same flight?" asked Wario.

"Yep. And, it's only 8 AM right now," said Luigi. "Looks like we'll all be on the same flight."

_Ness & Olimar  
8th to depart, 8:10 AM_

"You must fly to Helsinki, Finland,"read Olimar.

"It's a long way. Hopefully, we'll all be on the same flight," said Ness.

_Ike & Pit  
__9th to depart, 8:17 AM_

"You have $69 for this leg of the race," read Pit.

"We were crap in the last leg. Hopefully we can improve today," said Ike.

"As long as we don't fall too far behind by the flights, we'll be fine," read Pit.

"Or worse, we could be fined!"

"Shut up, Ike."

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Last to depart, 9:12 AM_

"You must fly to Helsinki, Finland," read Mario. "You have $69 for this leg of the race."

_Cape Town International Airport_

"1:50 PM. We'll all be on the same flight," said Yoshi.

"It'll be anyone's game when we step off the plane," said Wario.

Meanwhile, Mr. Game and Watch stuck a "Kick me" Post-it note to Marth's back.

Luigi kicked Marth.

Marth: Hey!

Mr. Game and Watch flashed a thumbs-up sign.

Two hours later…

"Well, it looks like we're all going on the same flight," said Pit.

Eventually, the plane arrived.

"All ten teams are on the same flight to Helsinki, Finland, by way of an interchange in Paris, France," said Bill.

Once out of the plane, Sonic and Marth were first to get the clue.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Detour: Rocker or Locker," read Marth. ?This is a Smash Ball challenge."

"A detour is a choice between two tasks!" said Bill. "In this detour: Rocker or Locker!"  
"In Rocker, teams must go by taxi to the Karaoke Nightclub Club Swengi. Once there, they must sing one of the three following songs: "Hard Rock Hallelujah" by Lordi, "Amaranth" by Nightwish, or "Eagleheart" by Stratovarius. The song chosen must be sung as a duet by the two team members. For competitors who are unable to speak in English, remember that their voices will be heard by the club as English. After that, three random patrons will evaluate their performance on a scale of 0-10. If they score at least an aggregate score of 15, they will receive their next clue; otherwise, they must sing again."

"In Locker, teams must go by taxi to the Helsinki Olympic Stadium and follow the marked path into a locker room. Once there, they must unlock a locker with a four-digit code. What they don't know is that the combination is 1-9-5-2, the year Helsinki hosted the Olympic Games. However, they will be given a hint, which is "The most important number in this stadium's history". Inside the locker is a clue."

"This is a Smash Ball challenge, so the first team to complete the detour on either side will receive a Smash Ball for each member of that team. A team may only obtain the Smash Ball once in the race. Each team member of the team who has the Smash Ball may break it open and use his or her Final Smash at any time between the receiving of the Smash Balls and the pit stop."

Sonic: We'll do Rocker.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Rocker, of course," said Jigglypuff.

"But you'd put the whole place to sleep!" said Kirby.

"Are you saying that I'm boring?" said Jigglypuff somewhat angrily.

"No, no! Nothing of the sort!" said Kirby.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"We're doing Rocker," said Luigi.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 4th Place_

"We can't sing," said Olimar.

"So, we're doing Locker," said Ness.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Locker," said Mario.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 6th Place_

"We'll do Rocker because I've always fancied myself as a rock star, and Peach has a great voice," said Samus.

"Plus, you're a metalhead!" said Peach, making a pun.

"Okay, that's lame,"

_Peach & Samus  
Interview before leg_

"Actually, I can only sing Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, and Ke$ha," said Peach.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__Currently in 7th Place_

"Let's do Rocker," said Wario.

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Rocker, fo-shizzle," said Ike.

"That's rap," said Pit.

"Oops."

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 9th Place_

"We'll do Locker," said Link.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in Last Place_

"Locker seems easier," said Pikachu.

_Karaoke Nightclub Club Swengi_

"Let's go with "Hard Rock Hallelujah," " said Sonic.

Three minutes later, the reviews came in.

**(Author's Note: All patron reviews will be done in script format and will be bolded for ease of reading.)**

**Patron #1: That was CRAP. You've disgraced metal. Zero.**

**Patron #2: It was bad, but not THAT bad. I'll give them a three.**

"That means the third patron's rating is irrelevant, as you can only max-out for 13 points," said the challenge organizer. "Next!"

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"We're next!" said Kirby.

"And we're choosing "Amaranth"," said Jigglypuff.

Amazingly, after the song was done, the club wasn't asleep!

"I guess it only works if you sound like Jigglypuff," said Kirby.

**Patron #1: Maybe a four.**

**Patron #2: Pretty bad. I'll give it a three.**

Jigglypuff and Kirby looked at the third patron in expectation.

The third patron threw a beer can at them.

"Ow!" said Jigglypuff.

"What was that for?" said Kirby angrily.

**Patron #3: BOOOOOOO! YOU SUCK! GET THE HELL OUT, YOU [censored sound]S!**

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"We'll do "Hard Rock Hallelujah"," said Luigi.

"No, we're doing "Amaranth"," insisted Mr. Game and Watch.

"But "Hard Rock Hallelujah" is SO much easier to sing!" said Luigi.

"I think I know more about metal than you do!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

"No, I don't! In fact, I think you're totally wrong. Why, my uncle worked in a steel factory!" responded Luigi, rather heatedly.

"Forget it. This is hopeless."

"Okay then, "Hard Rock Hallelujah" it is."

Soon…

**Patron #1: That was awesome! Nine.**

**Patron #2: Meh, it was okay. A five from me.**

**Patron #3: I'll give it a five.**

"Great! Here's your next clue and a Smash Ball for each of you!" said the challenge organizer.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"You must travel by train to Tampere, Finland," read Luigi.

"Teams must now travel over 180 kilometres by train to Tampere, Finland," said Bill.

"Let's go!"

_Helsinki Olympic Stadium_

"What the frick could "the most important number" be?" said an annoyed Ness.

"Perhaps the racetrack distance?" suggested Olimar.

Ness and Olimar went to ask an official for the distance of the racetrack.

"What's the distance of the track distance here?" asked Ness.

"400 metres."

Back at the locker…

"Okay, so it's 0-4-0-0…"

Olimar entered 0400.

The lock didn't budge.

"Nope."

_Karaoke Nightclub Club Swengi_

"We're doing "Eagleheart"," said Peach.

After the performance, the reviews came in.

**Patron #1: Average at best. Five.**

**Patron #2: Not bad. Six.**

**Patron #3: I didn't like that. I'll give it a three.**

Samus then proceeded to use Missile on a random guitar, destroying it.

**Patron #3: Destroying a guitar? Well, I appreciate the effort to look like a metal star. Okay then, I'll give you a five.**

"Okay then! Here's your next clue," said the challenge organizer.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"…travel by train to Tampere, Finland," read Samus.

_Helsinki Olympic Stadium_

"Could it be the year the stadium was opened?" said Mario.

"It was 1938," said R.O.B., after checking with a stadium official.

Mario entered the numbers 1-9-3-8, but to no avail.

Meanwhile, in Ness and Olimar's locker room, Olimar had just found out that Helsinki hosted the Olympics in 1952 by an inscription on a wall, and he entered 1-9-5-2.

The locker opened, and an attendant gave them a Smash Ball each.

_Ness & Olimar  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"…travel by train to Tampere, Finland," read Olimar.

_Karaoke Nightclub Club Swengi_

"Let's do "Amaranth"," said Ganondorf.

Four minutes later…

**Patron #1: Pretty bad. Three.**

**Patron #2: Actually, it wasn't bad. Seven.**

**Patron #3: I'll give it a four.**

They had missed by a point!

Ike and Pit were next.

"We should go with "Eagleheart"," said Pit.

Soon…

**Patron #1: I'll give it a seven.**

**Patron #2: No! That sucked! Two.**

**Patron #3: Pretty good. Seven.**

"Great! Here's your next clue," said the challenge organizer.

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 4th Place_

"You must travel by train to Tampere, Finland," read Pit.

_Helsinki Olympic Stadium_

"It has to be the capacity!" said R.O.B.

"There are only four dials!" said Mario.

After finding out from an official that the capacity was 40,000, they entered 4-0-0-0, which was wrong. Falco and Link and Pikachu and Yoshi were also wrong.

_Helsinki Central Railway Station_

"Which train stops in Tampere the earliest?" asked Luigi.

"You can get on a 12:30 PM train that stops in Tampere at 1:56 PM," said the attendant.

At another counter, Peach and Samus got tickets for the same train.

_Karaoke Nightclub Club Swengi_

Sonic and Marth had just gotten a 6-7-3, getting their next clue.

"Let's try "Eagleheart" this time," said Kirby.

After the performance…

**Patron #1: It's not bad. Six.**

**Patron #2: Nah, not really that good. Four.**

**Patron #3: Not the best, but I liked it. Seven.**

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 6th Place_

"You must travel by train to Tampere, Finland," read Kirby.

_Helsinki Olympic Stadium_

"The sign over there says that 1952 was the year that Helsinki hosted the Olympics!" said Mario.

"Let's try 1952, then!"

1-9-5-2 was entered, and it worked!

"1-9-5-2, maybe?" said Link.

The locker opened.

Pikachu also entered 1-9-5-2. getting himself and Yoshi a clue.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
__Currently in 9th Place_

"You must travel by train to Tampere, Finland," read Pikachu.

_Karaoke Nightclub Club Swengi_

Ganondorf and Wario were singing "Eagleheart", but they were soon booed off.

_Helsinki Central Railway Station_

_1st Train to Tampere_

"Teams on the 12:19 PM train to Tampere include Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, Peach and Samus, and Ness and Olimar," said Bill.

Meanwhile, Ike was at the ticket counter getting tickets.

"Which train stops in Tampere the earliest?"

"1:06 PM to 2:52 PM."

"Then, I'll have two tickets for that."

Just then, Marth showed up.

"So will I!"

Away from the ticket counter…

"It's on, pretty-boy," said Marth.

"Hey, many people write yaoi about you, you know," said Ike.

"But it's always yaoi with you!"

"Ah. Touché."

Meanwhile…

"We'll take two tickets for the 1:06 PM train," said Kirby.

_Karaoke Nightclub Club Swengi_

"Okay, this thime, we're doing "Hard Rock Hallelujah"," said Ganondorf.

Eventually…

**Patron #1: I'll give you a five.**

**Patron #2: Meh, it was okay. Six.**

**Patron #3: Actually, it was really good! Nine.**

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__Currently in Last Place_

" …travel by train to Tampere, Finland," read Wario.

_Helsinki Central Railway Station_

"We'll have two tickets for the 1:06 PM train," said Pikachu.

Then…

"We'll take two tickets for the 1:06 train," said Wario.

_2nd Train to Tampere_

"Teams on the 1:06 PM train to Tampere include Ike and Pit, Sonic and Marth, Jigglypuff and Kirby, R.O.B. and Mario, Falco and Link, Pikachu and Yoshi, and Ganondorf and Wario," said Bill.

_1st Train  
Tampere Railway Station  
Arrived at 1:56 PM_

"We're first out!" said Luigi.

"There's the cluebox!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__Currently in 1st Place_

"Go by taxi to Ylojarvi," read Luigi.

"Teams will have to travel 14 kilometres by taxi to the town of Ylojarvi, where they will find their next clue," said Bill.

"Let's go!"

_Peach & Samus  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

"Go by taxi to Ylojarvi," read Samus.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Go by taxi to Ylojarvi," read Olimar.

_Ylojarvi_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Complete a swamp obstacle course," read Luigi.

"Teams will now have to trudge through a 1.5 kilometre obstacle course through a swamp," said Bill. "First, they will have to crawl under fences for the first 500 metres. Then, until the 1-kilometre mark, they will have to climb over walls. Finally, for the last 500 metres, they will have to jump over low fences. At the end of the course, they will receive their next clue. This is a power-designated challenge."

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch entered the course.

They had only completed about 200 metres when Peach and Samus entered the course.

"I'll use my Final Smash now," said Luigi

Negative Zone covered a diameter of 1 kilometre.

"We're going so slowly now!" said a frustrated Peach.

"There's nothing we can do about this!" said Samus.

A few minutes later, Ness and Olimar turned up.

_Ness & Olimar  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"Complete a swamp obstacle course," read Ness.

"Let's use our Final Smashes," said Olimar.

They used PK Starstorm and End of Day.

PK Starstorm attacked the other four on the pbstacle course with meteors, and End of Day released Bulborbs on them.

"Argh!"

"Ow!"

Ness and Olimar crawled past Peach and Samus, and by the time their Final Smashes were over, they had closed in on Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch.

Soon…

"We made it!" said Luigi

Luigi picked up the clue from the cluebox.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"You must travel by train to Turku," read Luigi.

"Teams must now travel 168 kilometres by train to Turku, Finland," said Bill.

Then, Ness and Olimar completed the course.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"You must travel by train to Turku," read Ness.

About five minutes later, Peach and Samus were done.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"We have to hurry! The other teams have already left," said Samus.

_Tampere Railway Station_

"When is the next train that stops in Turku?" asked Mr. Game and Watch.

"3:11 PM. It stops in Turku at 4:55 PM," said the attendant.

"I'll have two tickets for that train."

At another counter…

"We'll have two tickets for the 3:11 train," said Ness.

"Hey, here come Peach and Samus!" said Olimar.

Peach and Samus went over to a ticket counter.

"Do you have any tickets left for 3:11?" asked Peach.

"Yes."

"We'll take two."

About fifteen minutes later…

_2nd Train  
Tampere Railway Station  
Arrived at 2:52 PM_

"Hey, here come the other teams!" said Peach.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Go by taxi to Ylojarvi," read Link.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Okay, let's hurry!" said Kirby.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Go by taxi to Ylojarvi," read Ganondorf.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__Currently in 8th Place_

"Go by taxi to Ylojarvi," read Mario.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in Last Place_

"We're last to leave. Hurry!" said Yoshi.

_Ylojarvi_

_Falco & Link  
__Currently in 4th Place_

"Complete a swamp obstacle course," read Link.

"Crap," said Falco.

"Of all the things we have to do…" said Link.

"At least it's not "touch Zelda's boobs"!" said Falco.

"Hey! I'd LOVE to touch Zelda's boobs!" said Link, annoyed.

"Uhh… right," said Falco. "Let's do this."

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Well, this'll be easy," said Jigglypuff confidently.

"We can just float over everything," said Kirby.

Indeed, by the time Falco and Link were at the 300-metre mark, they saw Jigglypuff and Kirby closing in.

"We're awesome!" said Jigglypuff.

"And you're not!" said Kirby, pointing to Falco and Link.

Jigglypuff and Kirby passed Falco and Link.

_Tampere Railway Station_

_1st Train to Turku_

"Teams on the 3:11 PM train to Turku include Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, Ness and Olimar, and Peach and Samus," said Bill.

_Ylojarvi_

Jigglypuff and Kirby had now completed 1.3 kilometres by floating above the course.

"We're almost there!" said Kirby.

Soon, they had made it to the end.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__Currently in 4th Place_

"You must travel by train to Turku," read Jigglypuff.

Just as Falco and Link finished and opened their clue, Ike and Pit entered. Meanwhile, Ganondorf and Wario, who were already in the obstacle course, were struggling with the crawling section.

"This would be easier if you weren't so fat!" said Ganondorf.

"But you're the one who's absurdly slow!" retorted Wario.

"Suck it, lardo."

"Forget about that! Ike and Pit just passed us!" said Wario.

Ganondorf: Well, at least we're out of the crawling section.

Before too long, Ike and Pit were out, and they got their clue.

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 6th Place_

"… travel by train to Turku," read Pit.

And, as soon as Ganondorf and Wario had passed the 1-kilometre mark, they heard something like an engine in the sky.

Wario: What's that up there?

R.O.B., carrying Mario, was flying over the course. Eventually, they passed Ganondorf and Wario.

"That was too easy!" said R.O.B.

"We're too good!" said Mario smugly.

R.O.B. and Mario got to the cluebox first.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__Currently in 7th Place_

"Yes!" cheered Mario.

" That was beyond epic," said R.O.B.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__Currently in 8th Place_

"You must travel… …to Turku," read Wario.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 9th Place_

"Okay! Let's get in!" said Marth.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in Last Place_

"Obstacle course? We're more than ready!" said Yoshi.

_Tampere Railway Station_

"We'll take two tickets for the 4:11 PM train," said Kirby.

About a minute later, Falco and Link showed up and bought their tickets.

_Ylojarvi_

"…and we are finally out of here!" said Sonic.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 9th Place_

After reading the clue, they headed off to the railway station.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in Last Place_

"Okay, hopefully we're on the same train as most of the other teams," said Yoshi.

"Yeah, me too," said Pikachu.

_Tampere Railway Station_

"We'll have two tickets for the 4:11 PM train," said Wario.

Soon…

"We'll have two tickets for the 4:11 PM train," said Pikachu.

_2nd Train to Turku_

"Teams on the 3:11 PM train to Turku include Jigglypuff and Kirby, Falco and Link, Ike and Pit, R.O.B. and Mario, Ganondorf and Wario, Sonic and Marth, and Pikachu and Yoshi," said Bill.

_1st Train  
__Turku Railway Station  
__Arrived at 4:55 PM_

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Drive to Lohja, Finland, and go to the Tytyri Limestone Mine," read Samus.

"Teams must now drive over 100 kilometres to Lohja, Finland, and then go to the Tytyri Limestone Mine, where they will find their next clue," said Bill.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"…Tytyri Limestone Mine. Okay, let's go!" said Olimar.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Drive to Lohja, Finland," read Luigi.

"Hurry! The other teams are leaving now!" shouted Mr. Game and Watch.

_2nd Train  
__Turku Railway Station  
__Arrived at 5:50 PM_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Drive to Lohja, Finland, and go to the Tytyri Limestone Mine," read Yoshi.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Drive to Lohja, Finland, and go to the Tytyri Limestone Mine," read Mario.

The screen cut to the other five teams running towards the cars.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 7th Place_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 8th Place_

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 9th Place_

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in Last Place_

About twenty minutes later, Falco and Link closed in on Jigglypuff and Kirby.

"Let's pass them!" said Link.

"Jigglypuff, now!" said Kirby, motioning for Jigglypuff to attempt to stay ahead.

Just as Falco attempted to pass, Jigglypuff skilfully maneuvered the car away from them, then cut back in, staying ahead.

"No!" said Falco in anguish.

"Nice move, Jigglypuff!" said Kirby.

_Tytyri Limestone Mine_

"We made it first!" said Peach happily.

Peach opened the clue.

"Battle! Are you ready for gallons of power?" read Peach.

"Battle!" said Bill. "Battle challenges are challenges where both team members fight against a boss. If the team defeats the boss, the attendant will give them their next clue. If the team fails to defeat the boss, the team will be given a one-hour penalty. If either or both of the team members are still unconscious after one hour, the attendant will inject whoever is still unconscious with a chemical to restore their consciousness. Once the penalty is served, the team will receive their next clue. In this Battle, teams will fight Galleom."

"Hey ugly! You suck!" called out Samus.

Galleom attacked Samus, doing 15% damage before the battle even started.

Peach started off with Peach Blossom.

Samus fired a missile at Galleom.

Galleom punched on both sides, doing some damage to Peach and Samus.

_Peach: 12% damage  
__Samus: 23% damage  
Galleom: 93% HP left_

Peach and Samus both used down-airs.

Galleom countered by shooting two missiles.

_Peach: 26% damage  
Samus: 38% damage  
Galleom: 86% HP left_

Meanwhile…

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Battle! Are you ready for gallons of power?" read Ness.

"Peach and Samus are battling right now," said the attendant. "You may not battle yet."

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch had just arrived.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"This is the place," said Luigi.

"It's Peach and Samus, and they're battling!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

Before too long…

"Peach Bomb-AAAAGHHHH OH MY GOD!"

Peach was defeated after Galleom fired a flurry of missiles at her. Samus was already KO'd.

Ness and Olimar stepped forward.

Galleom appeared on the battlefield.

"PK FIRE!" screamed Ness.

Ness attacked with PK Fire and Olimar attacked with his up-aerial.

"These two had a boring battle. Let's cut to the end!" said the producer.

"But…" protested a crew member.

"Cut to the end or you're fired!"

Ness shot a PK Thunder at Galleom.

Galleom was KO'd!

"Well done! Here's your next clue," said the attendant.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Make your way on foot to the Gothic Church of St. Lawrence. The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Ness.

"The Gothic Church of St. Lawrence has stood here in Lohja since the 15th century. It's also the third pit stop in a race around the world. The last team to check in may be eliminated," said Bill.

Ness and Olimar saw the mat.

The camera panned to Bill waiting at the mat.

Ness and Olimar jumped onto the mat.

"Ness and Olimar, you are team number one!" said Bill.

_Ness & Olimar  
1st Place_

"And I have some good news for you. As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won a week's trip to Cinnabar Island, Kanto, which you can enjoy after the race."

"We put together a great leg," said Olimar.

"I couldn't have done it without him!" said Ness, as he pointed at Olimar.

"HEY!" said Olimar's Pikmin, clearly annoyed at their lack of acknowledgement.

Later, back at the Battle…

_Luigi: 77% damage  
Mr. Game and Watch: 86% damage  
Galleom: 18% HP left_

"Now!" said Luigi.

"Okay!" replied Mr. Game and Watch.

Mr. Game and Watch destroyed his Smash Ball and then used his Final Smash, turning into a giant octopus.

He then moved all over the field, doing large amounts of damage to Galleom.

Luigi then attacked with a side-smash.

It KO'd Galleom.

"Well done! Here's your next clue," said the attendant.

"Make your way on foot to the Gothic Church of St. Lawrence. The last team to check in may be eliminated," said the attendant.

Within minutes, they made it to the mat.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are team number two."

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
2nd Place_

"This sucks. I'm ALWAYS second," said Luigi bitterly.

"Well, you didn't lose to Mario again!" said Bill.

"Yes! Take that, Mari-no!"

Mr. Game and Watch facepalmed

_Tytyri Limestone Mine_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Battle! Are you ready for gallons of power?" read Pikachu.

Before too long, they had beaten Galleom and were heading for the pit stop.

_Gothic Church of St. Lawrence_

Pikachu and Yoshi arrived at the mat.

"Pikachu and Yoshi, you are team number three."

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
3rd Place_

* * *

_Tytyri Limestone Mine_

By now, R.O.B. and Mario were fighting Galleom, and everyone had checked in.

R.O.B. used Robo Beam, and Mario used F.L.U.D.D.

Galleom countered by shooting missiles.

_R.O.B.: 55% damage  
Mario: 26% damage  
Galleom: 78% HP left_

R.O.B. then used his down-air, while Mario went with Super Jump Punch.

Galleom stomped on the battlefield, knocking Mario off his feet. R.O.B., however, flew up, avoiding it.

_R.O.B.: 55% damage  
Mario: 34% damage  
__Galleom: 69% HP left_

Peach and Samus had just completed their one-hour penalty.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Make your way on foot to the Gothic Church of St. Lawrence. The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Samus.

Within a few minutes, they had made it to the pit stop.

Upon arrival…

"Peach and Samus, you're the fourth team to arrive…"

"Yay!" cheered Peach.

"No, dumbass! When he says it like that, it means that something bad happened!" fumed Samus.

"Who are you calling a dumbass, blondie?"

"You're one to talk!"

"Break it up, girls!" said Bill, splitting them apart. "Samus is right."

"Yes!" said Samus triumphantly. Then, upon realization... "... oh crap."

"Back at the karaoke bar, Samus used one of her attacks to destroy a guitar. Ordinarily, this would have had no effect, but because it gained your team extra points, thus getting you the clue, and because it was not a power-designated challenge, you have received a two-hour penalty starting… now.

"Nice going, Samus," said an outraged Peach. "WHAT THE [censored sound] HELL?"

"Very princess-like, Peach," said Samus.

"Zip it, iron butt."

Meanwhile, back at the battle…

R.O.B. used Robo Beam, and it floored Galleom!

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated," read R.O.B. "Okay, let's hurry!"

Soon, they got to the pit stop.

"R.O.B. and Mario, you are team number four," said Bill.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
4th Place_

"That's awesome!" cheered R.O.B.

"I can't believe we came all the way from last place!" said Mario with delight.

"Now we're among the front-runners!" said R.O.B.

Back at the Battle, Sonic and Marth had just stepped into combat against Galleom.

Sonic started off with a side-smash, while Marth opened with a Dolphin Slash.

In response, Galleom charged up, then spun, doing damage to Sonic and Marth.

_Sonic: 12% damage  
Marth: 15% damage  
Galleom: 93% HP left_

Later…

Marth used Dancing Blade.

Sonic followed up with Spin Charge, KO'ing Galleom!

"Well done! Here's your next clue," said the attendant.

Marth: Make your way on foot to the Gothic Church of St. Lawrence.

In a few minutes, they spotted Bill standing at the Amazing Race mat, and they charged onto the mat.

"Sonic and Marth, you are team number five," said Bill.

_Sonic & Marth  
5th Place_

* * *

_Tytyri Limestone Mine_

After Ganondorf and Wario lost to Galleom, Jigglypuff and Kirby were next.

Kirby opened with Vulcan Jab. Jigglypuff used Pound.

Galleom shot two missiles.

_Jigglypuff: 21% damage_  
_Kirby: 11% damage_  
_Galleom: 95% HP left_

The balance of the battle swung back and forth, but in the end…

"Well, this is it!" said Kirby.

Kirby used his hammer to KO Galleom.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Okay, we'd better go to the pit stop now!" said Kirby.

Eventually...

"Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number six," said Bill.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
6th Place_

_Tytyri Limestone Mine_

Falco and Link had just lost. Ike and Pit were in the middle of their match.

"AETHER!" screamed Ike as he used it.

Pit then used Angel Ring.

_Ike: 82% damage  
__Pit: 129% damage  
Galleom: 15% HP left_

Pit used Angel Ring again.

Galleom punched the ground, knocking Pit out and doing damage to Ike. Ike used Eruption.

_Ike: 96% damage_  
_Pit: KO'd_  
_Galleom: 6% HP left_

Ike finished off Galleom with Aether.

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 7th Place_

"…Gothic Church of St. Lawrence," read Ike. "Okay, let's go!"

After Pit was revived, before too long, they were there.

"Ike and Pit, you are team number seven," said Bill.

_Ike & Pit  
7th Place_

Almost half an hour later, Ganondorf and Wario turned up at the pit stop.

Bill: Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number eight.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
8th Place_

"This sucks," said Wario.

"From the front of the pack to the back of it," said Ganondorf.

"We can always yield, right?" said Wario.

"We already used that, lardball!" yelled Ganondorf.

"Oh. Right."

The screen cut to Falco and Link running towards the mat, having spotted Bill.

Falco and Link stepped onto the mat.

Bill: Falco and Link, you are team number nine. You're still in the race.

_Falco & Link  
9th Place_

"I can't believe this. For certain, I thought we were eliminated!" said Falco, relieved.

Twenty minutes later…

"Peach and Samus, I can now check you in," said Bill. "You are the last team to arrive."

_Peach & Samus  
Last Place_

"However, the good news is that this is one of four pre-determined non-elimination legs, so you're still in the race…"

Peach and Samus then stared at each other, then Bill, with a mixture of shock, delight, and relief.

"…but there's a catch. In the next leg, you will have to go through a Speed Bump."

"It's incredible that we're still in the race," said Samus.

"Yeah, especially after how you screwed up back there!" said Peach somewhat mockingly.

Samus was speechless.

**Finish Times:**

Ness and Olimar: 6:46 PM

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch: 6:57 PM

Pikachu and Yoshi: 7:29 PM

R.O.B. and Mario: 7:40 PM

Sonic and Marth: 7:49 PM

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 8:10 PM

Ike and Pit: 8:29 PM

Ganondorf and Wario: 8:58 PM

Falco and Link: 9:18 PM

Peach and Samus: 9:37 PM

**Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:**

One team may have their chances "blown"!

_BANG!_

Teams see red!

_"...count the number of Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin statues..."_

And, Peach and Samus go through their Speed Bump!

_"Speed Bump," read Peach._

Don't miss it!


	4. In Soviet Russia, Race Runs You!

"Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, ten teams travelled to Helsinki, Finland!" said Bill. "The detour proved to be difficult for some…"

_Jigglypuff and Kirby looked at the third patron in expectation._

_The third patron threw a beer can at them._

"…while others found it easy."

_Screen cuts to Ness and Olimar opening the locker._

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch and Ness and Olimar completed their respective Detour challenges first…"

_Screen cuts to Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, then Ness and Olimar receiving their Smash Balls._

"…earning them a Smash Ball each."

"Seven teams were able to defeat Galleom in combat."

_Screen cuts to Ike and Pit KO'ing Galleom._

"Ness and Olimar's under-the-radar style of racing…"

_"Ness and Olimar, you are team number one!" said Bill._

"…helped land them in first place!"

"Peach and Samus, who at one stage led the leg, broke a rule…"

_Samus then proceeded to use Missile on a random guitar, destroying it._

_"Okay then! Here's your next clue," said the challenge organizer._

…and received a penalty.

_"…__you have received a two-hour penalty…"_

It dropped them to last place.

_"You are the last team to arrive."_

However, their luck was in.

_"…this is one of four pre-determined non-elimination legs…"_

"Can Peach and Samus bounce back from last place despite having a Speed Bump to come? And can Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch restore their morale after losing a leg for the first time in this race? Ten teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?"

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

Ike & Pit

R.O.B. & Mario

Peach & Samus

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Ness & Olimar

Pikachu & Yoshi

Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch

Falco & Link

"Ness and Olimar, who were first to arrive at 6:46 PM, will depart at 6:46 AM."

_Ness & Olimar  
1st to depart, 6:46 AM_

"Drive to Helsinki Railway Station, then take a train to Moscow, Russia and go to the Severnoye Tushino Park. You have $139 for this leg of the race," read Ness.

"Teams will now have to drive 58 kilometres back to Helsinki and go to the railway station," said Bill. "Once there, they will board a train that takes them almost nine hundred kilometres to Moscow, Russia."

_Ness & Olimar  
Interview before leg_

"Coming from second-last in the first leg to first place in leg 3 is awesome," said Ness happily.

"Ness & Olimar: Ready to strike!" said Olimar.

"Uh, Olimar, we're not bowlers."

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
2nd to depart, 6:57 AM_

"Drive to Helsinki Railway Station, then take a train to Moscow, Russia and go to the Severnoye Tushino Park," read Luigi.

"Russia, huh? This should be interesting," said Mr. Game and Watch.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
3rd to depart, 7:29 AM_

"… Moscow, Russia and go to the Severnoye Tushino Park," read Yoshi. "You have $139 for this leg of the race."

"Fourth, third, and third. Nothing but consistency so far," said Pikachu, satisfied.

_Helsinki Central Railway Station_

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 1st Place_

"When is the next train to Moscow?" asked Ness.

"6:23 PM."

_R.O.B. & Mario  
4th to depart, 7:40 AM_

"Drive to Helsinki Railway Station, then take a train to Moscow, Russia and go to the Severnoye Tushino Park," read Mario.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"Okay, so we take a right here…" said Yoshi.

BANG!

"What was that?" said Pikachu.

Yoshi checked the car.

"It seems that we have a flat tyre," he read.

"Great. Of all the goddamn times…" said Pikachu.

_Sonic & Marth  
5th to depart, 7:49 AM_

"Drive to Helsinki Railway Station, then take a train to Moscow," read Marth.

They stepped into the car.

"We're fifth right now," said Sonic. "If we can put together a good leg, things may be different at the end of it."

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
6th to depart, 8:10 AM_

"Moscow, huh? Well, that makes it a perfect time for me to say this: In Soviet Russia, race runs you!" said Kirby, referencing a meme.

"Soviet Russia jokes are overrated," said Jigglypuff. "I prefer "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!" and the Loituma girl, as far as memes go."

"Is the Loituma girl even a meme?"

"I'm pretty sure it is."

_Helsinki Central Railway Station_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"The next train to Moscow is at 6:23," said Mario, looking at the schedule.

They went over to the counter.

"We'll have two tickets for the next train to Moscow," said R.O.B., and he and Mario duly got their tickets.

"Okay, so we now have our tickets," said Mario. "Hey, it's Luigi and Game and Watch!"

"Looks like we'll all be on the same train," said Luigi.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 4th Place_

"We'll have two tickets for the 6:23 train," said Sonic.

_Ike & Pit  
7th to depart, 8:29 AM_

"You have $139 for this leg of the race," read Pit.

_Ike & Pit  
Interview after race_

"I dreaded this leg. I hate Russia!" said Ike.

"Why? You never told me about that!" said Pit.

"It's a long story," said Ike.

Meanwhile, Pikachu and Yoshi had managed to get their tyre fixed, but…

"I'll do it for 50 euros," said a passer-by.

"Fifty dollars," negotiated Pikachu.

"Forty-five euros," was the reply.

Yoshi got out a calculator. It came out to around $56.

"Pikachu, that's $56," said Yoshi.

"Deal," said Pikachu.

_Helsinki Central Railway Station_

"Well, we'll all be on the same train. We should make a temporary alliance with another team," said Kirby.

"But who?" asked Jigglypuff.

"You'll find out once we're on the train," said Kirby.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__8th to depart, 8:58 AM_

"…take a train to Moscow, Russia," read Wario.

"Wasn't Russia once called "the evil empire"?" said Ganondorf.

"Yeah," said Wario.

"This'll be our turf, then!"

_Falco & Link  
9th to depart, 9:18 AM_

"This sucks. We're almost last," said Link.

"If a mishap occurs at any time, we may be screwed," said Falco.

_Peach & Samus  
Last to depart, 9:37 AM_

"Drive to Helsinki Railway Station, then take a train to Moscow, Russia," read Peach. "…You have $139 for this leg of the race."

"We can't wreck this now," said Samus.

"Yeah. However, I'm not trusting you with any music-related challenge this time!" said Peach.

_Helsinki Central Railway Station_

"Okay, 6:23 PM," said Link, getting the tickets.

Later…

"Do you have any more tickets for the 6:23 train to Moscow?" sasked Peach.

"Yes."

"We'll have two of them."

_2:45 PM_

"Okay, so we're an alliance for this leg?" asked Kirby.

"Yeah," said Mario.

_6:23 PM_

"All teams are now on the same train to Moscow, Russia," said Bill.

_Moscow, Russia_

"Yes! We're first out!" said Peach excitedly.

Peach and Samus got into their cars.

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch found the exit second, followed by Ganondorf and Wario.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Okay, the Severnoye Tushino Park," said Samus. She checked the map. "We must take a right."

"How lucky are we that there was only one train to Moscow?" said Peach.

"Beyond lucky."

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Nice. We're back at the sharp end," said Wario.

"Unlike your brain," said Ganondorf snarkily.

"What?"

"Never mind."

The screen then showed some other teams driving to the Severnoye Tushino Park.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 2nd Place_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__Currently in 6th Place_

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 4th Place_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 7th Place_

* * *

_Severnoye Tushino Park_

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

Samus read the clue.

"Go by taxi to the Fallen Monument Park," read Samus.

"Teams will now have to take a taxi to the Fallen Monument Park, where they will receive their next clue," said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Go by taxi to the Fallen Monument Park," read Luigi.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Well, how about that! We're now leading!" said Samus.

"Speed bump," said Peach soberly.

"I know."

There really was a speed bump.

The taxi quaked as it went over at normal speed.

"See?"

_Severnoye Tushino Park_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Go by taxi to the Fallen Monument Park," read Wario.

_Fallen Monument Park_

Peach and Samus were first there.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Road Block! Who's good at solving mysteries, literally?" read Samus.

"Road Block! A Road Block is a task that only one person can complete!"  
"In this Road Block, that team member must count the number of Vladimir Lenin and Joseph Stalin statues in this park, then proceed to an antique book shop named Bukinist in Arbat Street. The numbers of Lenin and Stalin statues are the tens and units digits, respectively, of a number that will tell the bookstore manager. If they are incorrect, a 10-minute penalty will be issued before another guess can be made. If they are correct, the team member will receive a copy of _The Master and Margarita_ by Mikhail Bulgakov, and flip to the page of the correct answer - 62 - to find a clue about their next destination - the Bulgakov Museum - where their teammate and next clue will be waiting."

"I'm doing this one," said Peach.

_Severnoye Tushino Park_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__Currently in 6th Place_

"…Fallen Monument Park." read Kirby.

"Let's go!" said Jigglypuff.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__Currently in 7th Place_

"Go by taxi to the Fallen Monument Park," read R.O.B.

_Fallen Monument Park_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Road Block! Who's good at solving mysteries, literally?" read Luigi.

"I am. I'll do this," said Mr. Game and Watch.

Meanwhile, Peach had just come up with her answer, and was heading for Bukinist.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"I'll do this one," said Ganondorf.

Soon, Peach had made it to Bukinist.

"There are 6 statues of Lenin and 2 of Stalin," said Peach.

"Right! Here's your book," said the storekeeper.

Peach turned through the book. Soon she got to page 62.

"A clue?"

She opened the envelope.

"Drive to Bulgakov Museum," read Peach.

_Severnoye Tushino Park_

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in Last Place_

"Go by taxi to the Fallen Monument Park," read Pit.

_Bukinist_

"I saw five Lenin statues and two Stalin statues," said Mr. Game and Watch.

"That is incorrect," said the storekeeper. "You get a ten-minute penalty."

_Fallen Monument Park_

Ganondorf was tallying the statues on the Road Block.

"…and there's a fourth statue of Lenin, and there's one of Stalin."

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 4th Place_

"I'll do it," said Falco confidently.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Road Block," read Marth.

"I'll do it," said Sonic.

"Well, you are rather impulsive and don't look at instructions…" said Marth apprehensively.

"Like you're any better…" said Sonic.

"Uh, yeah. I am," asserted Marth.

"No way!" Sonic rushed inside.

_Ganondorf_

"Six Lenin statues and two Stalin statues."

"That's correct."

_Bulgakov Museum_

Peach was now inside the museum and had rejoined Samus.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Take a taxi to Sokolniki Park," read Samus.

"Teams will now have to go by taxi to Sokolniki Park," said Bill.

_Fallen Monument Park_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 6th Place_

"I should do this one," said Kirby.

Falco had completed the challenge and was now at Bukinist.

_Falco_

"Six Lenins and two Stalin statues," said Falco.

"Yes, you're right."

Falco got the book, then turned the pages. Soon, he noticed that page 62 had a clue in it.

"Drive to Bulgakov Museum," read Falco.

_Bulgakov Museum_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Take a taxi to Sokolniki Park," read Ganondorf.

_Bukinist_

_Sonic_

"There are four Lenins and three Stalins," said Sonic.

Storekeeper: Incorrect. You get a 10-minute penalty.

_Sokolniki Park_

"There's the cluebox!" said Samus.

Peach and Samus hurried to the cluebox.

Samus opened the envelope and read the clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Detour: Ride the Rails or Ride the Lines," read Samus.

"A detour is a choice between two tasks!" said Bill. "In this detour: Ride the Rails or Ride the Lines!  
"In Ride the Rails, teams must go by the Moscow Metro to Ulitsa 1905 Goda, where they will pick up a samosa from a marked snack stand. The wrapper will tell them to go to Kitay-Gorod and give it to a person in an Amazing Race shirt. He will then give them their next clue."

"In Ride the Lines, teams must go by trolleybus to Krasnoselskaya Station and find a key maker, who will then give them a key. The keytag will direct them to Rizhskaya Station, where their key will open up a locker containing their next clue."

"We'll do Ride the Rails," said Peach.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

"Detour: Ride the Rails or Ride the Lines," read Wario.

"Definitely, Ride the Lines," said Ganondorf.

_Fallen Monument Park_

_Ness & Olimar  
__Currently in 8th Place_

"Road Block! Who's good at solving mysteries, literally?" read Ness.

"I am. I'll do this," said Olimar.

_Bulgakov Museum_

Falco and Link and Jigglypuff and Kirby were now at the Bulgakov Museum.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 3rd Place_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 4th Place_

Falco and Kirby read the clue._  
_

"Take a taxi to…"

"…Sokolniki Park."

_Bukinist_

"Your time penalty is up," said the storekeeper.

_Mr. Game and Watch_

Mr. Game and Watch took the book, then found the clue.

"Drive to Bulgakov Museum," read Mr. Game and Watch.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 9th Place_

"I'll do this one," said Yoshi.

_Sokolniki Park_

Falco and Link had just made it to Sokolniki Park. Before long, they found the clue box, but barely a minute later, Jigglypuff and Kirby were there, too.

"Detour: Ride the Rails or Ride the Lines," read Falco.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Ride the Rails," said Link.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Let's do Ride the Lines," said Kirby, after a quick discussion with Jigglypuff.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 5th Place_

"We should do Ride the Rails," said Mr. Game and Watch.

_Bukinist_

"There are six Lenins and two Stalins," said Yoshi.

"You're right," said the storekeeper, handing over the book.

_Sokolniki Park_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Detour: Ride the Rails or Ride the Lines," read Mario.

"Ride the Lines," decided R.O.B.

_Moscow Metro Station_

Peach and Samus had just boarded the Metro.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Hey, this train's just two letters short of my series' name!" said Samus excitedly.

Peach was unimpressed.

"So? I have a fruit named after me!"

"Actually, no. _You_ were named after _it_," said Samus.

"Oh."

_Sokolniki Park_

_Ness & Olimar  
__Currently in 7th Place_

"Ride the Rails," said Olimar.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Currently in 8th Place_

"We'll do Ride the Lines," said Yoshi.

_Sonic & Marth  
__Currently in 9th Place_

"Ride the Rails," said Marth.

_Ulitsa 1905 Goda_

_Peach & Samus  
On Rails_

"There's the marked stand!" said Peach.

Peach and Samus picked up the samosa.

"Go to Kitay-Gorod and give this samosa to a person in an Amazing Race suit," read Peach.

_Krasnoselskaya Station_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
On Lines_

"That must be him!" said Ganondorf, pointing to an Amazing Race sign.

"Here, have this," said the key maker.

Ganondorf and Wario inspected the key.

"Go to Rizhskaya Station," read Wario.

_Sokolniki Park_

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in Last Place_

"Detour, huh?" said Pit as he read the clue.

"Let's do Ride the Lines," said Ike.

_Ulitsa 1905 Goda_

_Falco & Link  
On Rails_

"Hey, it's the Amazing Race flag!" said Link.

"Let's go!"

They got the samosa.

Meanwhile, at the trolleybus station near Sokolniki Park…

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
__On Lines_

"No. I don't believe it!" cried Yoshi, incredulous.

"Why? What's wrong?" asked Pikachu.

"We don't have enough money to get to Krasno-wherever," said Yoshi.

"Oh, what the [censor sound]!" raged Pikachu.

"WHY did we pay him so much?" fumed Yoshi.

"We didn't have a choice," said Pikachu.

"We must sell our non-essentials now," said Yoshi. "It's our only option."

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On Lines_

"That must be the keymaker!" said Kirby.

"Do you have a key for us?" asked Jigglypuff.

"Yes, here it is!" said the keymaker.

"Go to Rizhskaya Station," read Jigglypuff.

_Kitay-Gorod_

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Hey, there's the guy in the Amazing Race shirt!" said Peach.

After handing over the samosa, Peach and Samus did not receive their clue. Instead, they saw a board with the words "Speed Bump" written on it.

They saw a clue hanging from the board.

Peach took the clue and read it.

"Speed Bump," read Peach.

"Speed Bump!" said Bill. "A speed bump is a task that only Peach and Samus must complete to receive their next clue, having come last in the last leg! In this speed bump, they must learn, then perform a traditional Russian dance, but they will only receive their next clue if the choreographer is satisfied with their performance. Once they have the clue, they must hurry, as this task could cost a lot of time!"

_Rizhskaya Station_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
On Lines_

"There's the locker!" said Wario.

Ganondorf and Wario opened the locker.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Hey, this is just a picture!" said Ganondorf angrily.

"Teams will now have to work out that this is a picture of the VDNKh Metro Station," said Bill. "Their next clue awaits them there."

Soon, they found a bystander.

"Where is this?" asked Ganondorf.

"It's VDNKh Metro Station," said the bystander.

_Kitay-Gorod_

_Falco & Link  
On Rails_

"This must be it!" said Falco.

Link spotted the man in the Amazing Race shirt.

"Sir! Here it is!" said Link hurriedly.

He handed over the samosa. They got their next clue.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Just a picture?" said Link.

"This must be where the next clue is!" said Falco.

_Rizhskaya Station_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On Lines_

"There's the locker!" said Kirby.

"Let's put in that key!" suggested Jigglypuff.

The locker swung open, and they got their clue.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"It's a picture," said Kirby.

"It appears to be a train station," said Jigglypuff.

_Sokolniki Trolleybus Station_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
On Lines_

"Do you have the key we need?" asked Mario.

"Yes," said the keymaker, handing it to Mario.

_Kitay-Gorod_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
On Rails_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch had gotten their samosa and had just given it to the Amazing Race shirt-man. Then, they got their next clue.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 4th Place_

"That looks like…" said Mr. Game and Watch, realizing what it was.

"A train station!" finished Luigi.

"No! It's bubblegum!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

Meanwhile…

_Sokolniki Trolleybus Station_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
On Lines_

Pikachu and Yoshi were still short on money.

"We're selling this packet of batteries!" called out Pikachu.

"And this diary!" shouted Yoshi.

"Hey! That's my diary!" said Pikachu angrily.

"Oh," said Yoshi. "Anyway, just buy our stuff to help cure my brother's cancer!"

"Yoshi! That's low of you!" said Pikachu, shocked that Yoshi would stoop that low.

"No, really, Blue Yoshi _does_ have cancer."

Before too long, though…

"I'll buy it for 200 roubles!" said a passer-by.

"Yay!" cheered Yoshi.

"Thank you SO much. You have NO idea what this means to us," said Pikachu gratefully.

_Kitay-Gorod_

_Peach & Samus  
On Speed Bump_

Peach and Samus attempted to perform the dance. However…

"No, no, no! You got it wrong again!" shouted the choreographer.

"We'll never get this done," said a dejected Samus.

"Well, we wouldn't be doing this retarded Speed Bump if it wasn't for YOUR cock-up!" screamed Peach.

"Just… shut… up," said Samus.

Samus' voice overdubbed the scene.

"She is impossible sometimes. On occasion I can't believe I picked her to race with," said Samus.

_Ulitsa 1905 Goda_

_Sonic & Marth  
On Rails_

"Okay, there's the marked snack stand!" said Marth.

They got the samosa.

_Kitay-Gorod_

Ness andd Olimar had just gotten their clue.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 6th Place_

"It's just a picture," said Ness.

They went off to ask for help.

"Do you recognize this?" asked Olimar, as he held up the picture.

"No," said the bystander he asked.

_VDNKh Metro Station_

Ganondorf and Wario were already there, and soon…

"It's a cluebox!" said Wario.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

"You must now make your way on foot to VDNKh Park, the pit stop," read Wario. "The last team to check in may be eliminated."

"Teams must now go on foot to VDNKh Park, the fourth pit stop in a race around the world," said Bill. The last team to check in may be eliminated."

"Let's go!"

Within a few minutes, they were almost there.

Ganondorf and Wario ran as quickly as they could onto the mat.

"Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number one!" said Bill.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__1st Place_

"Well, of course," said Ganondorf arrogantly. "The Evil Empire belongs to TEAM EVIL! MUHAHAHAHAHA-okay, I'll stop now."

"I understand that you two both own a Nintendo Wii?" said Bill.

"Yeah, we do. In fact, everyone in Brawl does," said Wario.

"Well then, I have some good news for you," said Bill. As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won 50,000 Wii Points, or $500 worth of Wii Points, which you can enjoy after the race.

"Yay!" cheered Ganondorf. "Now I can get Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards!"

Wario and Master Hand stared at Ganondorf oddly.

"What? Even an evil tyrant like me can enjoy a cute, bouncy game!"

_VDNKh Metro Station_

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"You must now make your way on foot to VDNKh Park, the pit stop," read Link.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Kirby.

The two teams were only separated by a minute. Eventually, both came to the mat, but Falco and Link were first.

"Falco and Link, you are team number two," said Bill.

_Falco & Link  
__2nd Place_

Just then, Jigglypuff and Kirby showed up.

"Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number three," said Bill.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
3rd Place_

"So far, so good," said Kirby.

_Rizhskaya Station_

_Ike & Pit  
On Lines_

"Here's the locker!" said Pit urgently.

"Hurry!"

Pit turned the key, and then took the clue.

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 8th Place_

"A picture?"

"We'll have to ask the bystanders here," said Ike.

_VDNKh Station_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch had come and gone. R.O.B. and Mario just got there.

"There's the cluebox!" said Mario.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"You must now make your way on foot to VDNKh Park," read R.O.B.

_VDNKh Park_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch had just arrived.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are team number four," said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__4th Place_

* * *

_Kitay-Gorod_

_Peach & Samus  
On Speed Bump_

Peach and Samus were struggling at the Speed Bump.

"No, wrong again," said the choreographer.

"This is ridiculous. We've been here for a goddamn half-hour," fumed Peach.

"These steps are way too hard," said Samus.

"Still, we have to do this somehow," said Peach.

"Right," said Samus.

_VDNKh Park_

"R.O.B. and Mario, you are team number five," said Bill.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
5th Place_

_VDNKh Station_

Ness and Olimar were first there, but then they saw…

"It's Sonic and Marth!"

Ness and Olimar had a slight lead over them, though, so they got the clue first.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 6th Place_

"You must now make your way on foot to VDNKh Park," read Olimar.

However, Sonic and Marth's superior speed helped them beat Ness and Olimar, and they made it to the mat about 30 seconds before Ness and Olimar did.

"Sonic and Marth, you are team number six," said Bill.

_Sonic & Marth  
__6th Place_

As Bill said that, Ness and Olimar arrived.

"Ness and Olimar, you are team number seven," said Bill.

_Ness & Olimar  
7th Place_

"Not exactly how you'd hoped to defend your lead, was it?"

"It was just rough out there," said Olimar.

A few minutes later, Ike and Pit made it to the pit stop.

"Ike and Pit, you are team number eight," said Bill.

_Ike & Pit  
__8th Place_

_Ike & Pit  
Interview after leg_

"We've been crap so far," said Pit.

"We've been near the back of the pack almost the whole way," said Ike.

"It's only because of the battles that we're still in the race," said Pit.

_Kitay-Gorod_

_Peach & Samus  
On Speed Bump_

Peach and Samus had just finished their dance routine.

"Yes, that's good enough," said the choreographer, finally satisfied.

Peach joyfully accepted the clue from the choreographer and opened the envelope.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 9th Place_

"It seems to be a station image," said Peach.

They asked the choreographer.

"Do you know where this is?" asked Samus.

""It's VDNKh Metro Station.

_En route to Rizhskaya Trolleybus Station_

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
On Lines_

"I hope we're not too late," fretted Yoshi.

VDNKh Metro Station

Peach and Samus had just made it to the cluebox.

_Peach & Samus  
__Currently in 9th Place_

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Samus.

"Let's go!"

_Rizhskaya Trolleybus Station_

"There's the locker!" said Yoshi.

They ran over to the locker and opened it.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
__Currently in Last Place_

* * *

_VDNKh Park_

Peach and Samus hurried onto the mat.

"Peach and Samus…"

Peach and Samus stared expectantly at Bill.

"… you are team number nine! You're still in the race!"

_Peach & Samus  
9th Place_

Upon hearing this, Peach and Samus hugged each other for at least 30 seconds.

"I couldn't have asked for a better race partner. Even though we bicker sometimes, it's all been worth it," said Peach.

"This was a crazy leg. From last to first to what we thought was last again, but we're still in it!" said Samus.

About fifteen minutes later, Pikachu and Yoshi showed up.

"Pikachu and Yoshi, you're the last team to arrive," said Bill.

_Pikachu & Yoshi  
Last Place_

"I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race," said Bill.

Pikachu and Yoshi were both dejected and bitter.

"From what I hear, you guys had trouble with money?" inquired Bill.

"Yeah, we did," said Pikachu. Back in Finland, the guy who fixed our car tyre charged us too much money. We had to sell some of our stuff."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, you finished just one hour behind the leading team," said Bill.

"He prevented us from going on in this race," said Yoshi bitterly.

"Well, that is true," said Bill.

"To the guy who fixed our tyre back in Finland…" said Pikachu.

"…you're a jerk and a cheapskate!" said Yoshi.

_Deleted Scene_

Pikachu and Yoshi fired middle-fingers at the screen.

"That's for you, cheapskate," said Yoshi.

**Finish Times:**

Ganondorf and Wario: 10:45 AM

Falco and Link: 10:50 AM

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 10:51 AM

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch: 10:56 AM

R.O.B. and Mario: 10:58 AM

Sonic and Marth: 11:03 AM

Ness and Olimar: 11:04 AM

Ike and Pit: 11:08 AM

Peach and Samus: 11:29 AM

Pikachu and Yoshi: 11:45 AM (Eliminated)

**Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:**

Marth faces his biggest fear!

_Marth: I can't do this!_

_Sonic: Yes, you can. One million dollars is on the line!_

_Marth: No, I can't! It's too high and I'm too scared!_

And, for the first time ever, the Road Block occurs in the most unlikely place yet!

Don't miss it!

* * *

Reviews/comments/critiques/etc. are always welcome.


	5. For Once, I'm Glad I Was Wrong

"Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, ten teams went by train to Moscow, Russia!" said Bill. "Pikachu and Yoshi had a flat on the way there..."

_"Okay, so we take a right here…" said Yoshi._

_BANG!_

_"What was that?" said Pikachu._

_Yoshi checked the car._

_"It seems that we have a flat tyre," he read._

"…and it made them lose a fair bit of money."

_"I'll do it for 50 euros," said a passer-by._

_"Fifty dollars," negotiated Pikachu._

_"Forty-five euros," was the reply._

_Yoshi got out a calculator. It came out to around $56._

_"Pikachu, that's $56," said Yoshi._

_"Deal," said Pikachu._

"Peach and Samus struggled at the Speed Bump…"

_"No, no, no! You got it wrong again!" shouted the choreographer._

_"We'll never get this done," said a dejected Samus._

"…but avoided elimination!"

_"… you are team number nine! You're still in the race!"_

_Upon hearing this, Peach and Samus hugged each other for at least 30 seconds._

"Ganondorf and Wario rebounded from eighth to win the leg!"

_"Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number one!" said Bill.  
_

"However, Pikachu and Yoshi's money woes…"

_"We're selling this packet of batteries!" called out Pikachu._

"…were their downfall."

_"I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race," said Bill.  
_

"Can Peach and Samus survive again despite being at the back of the pack? Can Ike and Pit, who have been poor so far, put in a good leg? And can Ganondorf and Wario stay ahead? Nine teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?"

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

Ike & Pit

R.O.B. & Mario

Peach & Samus

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Ness & Olimar

Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch

Falco & Link

"Ganondorf and Wario, who were first to arrive at 10:45 AM, will depart at 10:45 PM," said Bill.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
1st to depart, 10:45 PM_

"You must make your way to Porto, Portugal," read Ganondorf. "You have $23 for this leg of the race."

"Teams must now travel nearly four thousand kilometres by plane to Porto, Portugal. Once there, they must make their way by taxi to Vila Nova de Gaia, where their next clue is," said Bill.

"First, race domination, then world domination!" said Ganondorf.

"And Mars domination, too!" added Wario.

"Mars? What the crap, Wario?" asked Ganondorf, somewhat annoyed.

"You know, the red planet…" said Wario.

"Actually, I like the sound of that plan!" said Ganondorf. "We'll discuss it at the next pit stop."

_Falco & Link  
2nd to depart, 10:50 PM_

"You must make your way to Porto, Portugal," read Falco.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
3rd to depart, 10:51 PM_

"You have $23 for this leg of the race," read Kirby.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
4th to depart, 10:56 PM_

"…make your way to Porto, Portugal," read Luigi.

In the cars…

The screen showed Falco and Link and Jigglypuff and Kirby.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 2nd Place_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"It's Falco and Link!" said Jigglypuff.

"Pass them!" shouted Kirby.

Jigglypuff smoothly guided their car past Falco and Link's car.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Great move!" said Kirby.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Get back ahead!" said Link, panicking.

However, a turn came up, and they failed.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Crap!"

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Yay!" cheered Jigglypuff.

"Team Pinkball is ready to own!" said Kirby.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
5th to depart, 10:58 PM_

"You must make your way to Porto, Portugal," read R.O.B.

_Sonic & Marth  
6th to depart, 11:03 AM_

"You have $23 for this leg of the race," read Marth.

_Ness & Olimar  
7th to depart, 11:04 AM_

"You must make your way to Porto, Portugal," read Ness.

The screen showed Sonic and Marth in the car.

_Sonic & Marth  
Interview before leg_

"I think the other teams see us as a non-threat because we've always been in the middle so far," said Sonic.

"Isn't that your fault?" asked Marth.

Sonic had an anime-type sweatdrop.

"And how'd you get that abnormally large sweatdrop?"

_Ike & Pit  
8th to depart, 11:08 AM_

"I hope there's no Yield. I'd be yielded by Sonic and Marth for sure," said Ike.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

_Scene back at the pit stop_

"Well, I'm the better swordsman!" bragged Marth.

"I use a two-handed sword one-handed!" boasted Ike.

"So? I have more experience!"

"No, you don't!"

"I'm from a 1990 game! Yours is from 2005!"

"Ha! You're old, oldie!"

"Okay, that's it! You'll pay for that!"

"How?"

"…"

"…"

"Somehow!"

_Domodedovo International Airport_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Are there any flights to Porto?" asked Wario.

"I can get you on a connecting flight on Iberia through Madrid to Porto," said the attendant. "It leaves Moscow at 7:25 AM tomorrow morning and arrives in Porto at 11:45."

"How many tickets are left?"

"Twenty-one."

"We'll take two tickets," said Ganondorf.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

" …and we'll have two tickets," said Jigglypuff.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Looks like we'll all be bunched up again," said Link.

"We ought to make an alliance with Ganondorf and Wario," said Falco.

"Why?" said Link.

"So we can backstab them later! Duh!" said Falco.

So…

"No," said Wario firmly.

"We have garlic!" said Falco in an enticing voice.

"Okay!"

_Peach & Samus  
Last to depart, 11:29 PM_

"You must make your way to Porto, Portugal," read Peach.

_Domodedovo International Airport_

All the teams except Peach and Samus had now signed in for the Iberia flight.

"Well, all the teams will be bunched together again," said Ike. "What the…?"

Ike looked at his right shoe.

Ike's right show had a post-it note with the words "Ike is a douchebag!"

"MAAAARTH!"

Later…

_Peach & Samus_  
_Currently in Last Place_

"We'll take two tickets for the 7:25 flight," said Samus.

So, the teams spent the night in the airport.

"All teams are on the same Iberia flight to Porto, Portugal, by way of an interchange in Madrid, Spain," said Bill.

_Francisco de Sá Carneiro Airport  
11:45 AM_

Ike and Pit were the first out.

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Okay, there are the marked cars!" said Pit.

Ike checked the clue. "Vila Nova de Gaia."

The sreen then showed some other teams on their way to Vila Nova de Gaia.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 5th Place_

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 6th Place_

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 8th Place_

_Vila Nova de Gaia_

Ike and Pit were first there.

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Detour: Old School or New School," read Pit.

"A detour is a choice between two tasks!" said Bill. "In this detour: Old School or New School!"  
"In Old School, teams must load a barrel of a port wine weighing 42 kilograms onto a boat, and help to row it across the Douro River, then deliver it to the O Muro restaurant in Porto. After that, they will receive their next clue from the restaurant owner."

"In New School, teams must load crates of wine bottles onto one of these marked trucks…"

The screen panned to some trucks.

"…and drive them to three different restaurants: Chez Lapin, Retiro dos Carvalhos, and Café Majestic in Porto. To get their next clue, they must get the signature of the first two restaurant owners, then, after delivering the third crate to Café Majestic, they will receive their next clue from it. In either task, with their clue, each team will be given a bottle of wine. Teams must keep this bottle with them at all costs, or a penalty will be given."

"We'll do Old School," decided Ike.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Detour: Old School or New School," read Ganondorf.

"You know, we could use the Fast Forward…" said Wario.

"Fast Forward!" said Bill. "In a Fast Forward, one team can skip all tasks and go to their next pit stop in exchange for the completion of a particular task! This is only one of three Fast Forwards, so teams must decide when it is most applicable to use it!"

"To claim this Fast Forward, teams must go to the Biblioteca Pública Municipal do Porto, or in English, the Porto Municipal Library. Once there, teams will have to search through a marked section consisting of over 7,000 books. Hidden inside one of them is the Fast Forward. The first team to find it may claim it."

"Nah. Let's do Old School," said Ganondorf.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Let's not do the Fast Forward. We'll do Old School," said Marth.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__Currently in 4th Place_

"Our arms are too small for Old School," said Kirby.

"Let's do the Fast Forward!" said Jigglypuff excitedly.

"Okay!"

_Ike & Pit  
__On Old School_

Ike and Pit had already hauled the barrel and were now rowing.

"Just keep rowing, just keep rowing, just keep rowing, rowing, rowing…" sang Pit in the style of Dory from Finding Nemo.

"Pit?" said Ike.

"What?"

"Shut up."

_Ganondorf & Wario  
On Old School_

"I absolutely suck at this," whinged Wario.

"You're not the only one on this team who can't row," said Ganondorf.

_Sonic & Marth  
On Old School_

"This barrel is harder to haul than it looks!" said Marth.

"We're gonna fall behind if we don't hurry!" said Sonic.

_Vila Nova de Gaia_

_Ness & Olimar  
__Currently in 6th Place_

"Would it be worth it if we went for the fast forward?" asked Olimar.

"I think so!" said Ness.

"Let's go!"

_Ike & Pit  
__On Old School_

Ike and Pit had just arrived at the restaurant.

Pit: Here it is!

"Here's your clue, and your bottle!" said the restaurant owner.

_Ike & Pit  
__Currently in 1st Place_

"Go by bus to Lisbon, Portugal," read Ike.

"Teams will now have to travel over 300 kilometres by bus to Lisbon, Portugal," said Bill. "However, what they do not know is that there will be an attendant at the entrance of the bus station. He will be holding a bowl with tickets in it. Three of the tickets are for the 2:00 PM bus to Lisbon, three for the 3:00 PM bus, and three for the 4:00 PM bus. The ticket that they draw, of course, will decide which bus they go on."

"Okay! Let's go!"

_Biblioteca Pública Municipal do Porto_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__On Fast Forward_

_Ness & Olimar  
__On Fast Forward_

"We've been here about fifteen minutes," said Ness, visibly annoyed.

"Found it!" said Jigglypuff.

"GODDAMN IT!" screamed Ness.

Upon that, Ness was turned out of the library.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
__Currently in 1st Place_

"You must now drive over 300 kilometres to Castelo do Mouros in Sintra," read Kirby.

"Jigglypuff and Kirby, having completed the Fast Forward, may now skip all tasks and head to the pit stop at Castelo do Mouros," said Bill.

"Awesome!" cheered Jigglypuff.

"Unless something crazy happens, we're winning this leg!" cheered Kirby.

_Vila Nova de Gaia_

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Let's take the Fast Forward," said Samus.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__Currently in Last Place_

"Detour," read Mario.

"We should do the Fast Forward," said R.O.B.

_Ness & Olimar_

"Let's do New School," said Olimar.

_Falco & Link  
__On Old School_

"There's the restaurant!" said Link.

Falco and Link got the clue.

_Falco & Link  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"Go by bus to Lisbon, Portugal," read Link.

Outside…

"Ha! We just owned Ganondorf and Wario," said Falco with a smirk.

"As we passed them, we could've told them where to go, but we didn't!" said Link.

"And they thought we were an alliance!" laughed Falco.

_Flashback_

Ganondorf and Wario were searching frantically for the O Muro restaurant when Falco and Link came by.

"Do you guys know where the O Muro restaurant is?" asked Wario.

"Sorry! Can't tell you!" said Falco.

Falco and Link left.

"We've been had!" said Ganondorf angrily.

_End flashback_

* * *

_Porto Bus Station_

"Okay, let's take our ticket!" said Ike.

Pit put his hand into the bowl.

He pulled out the ticket.

The screen zoomed out as it showed, much to the dismay of Ike and Pit, that it said "4:00 PM".

_Ike & Pit  
__1st on 4:00 PM Bus_

"How is it that we always get unlucky like this?" asked Ike rhetorically.

Meanwhile…

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__Currently in 4th Place_

"Go by bus to Lisbon, Portugal," read Luigi.

_Chez Lapin_

_Ness & Olimar  
On New School_

"Hey, Peach and Samus seem to be doing this!" noted Ness.

"As do R.O.B. and Mario!" said Olimar.

_Peach & Samus  
__On New School_

"I can't believe the fast forward had already been claimed," grumbled Peach.

"Yeah, that sucks!" said Samus.

"Oh well, we're now at our first restaurant," said Peach.

They got a signature.

However, later…

_Café Majestic_

_Ness & Olimar_

"Here's the crate of wine!" said Olimar.

They got their clue.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Go by bus to Lisbon, Portugal," read Ness.

_Porto Bus Station_

"Okay, Falkie needs a new pair of shoes!" said Falco hopefully.

He pulled out the ticket.

_Falco & Link  
__2nd on 4:00 PM Bus_

"Oh, COME ON!" fumed Link.

"Like YOU could've gotten the best one!" raged Falco.

"I could've and I would've!" insisted Link.

About five minutes later…

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
1st on 2:00 PM Bus_

"Yay!" cheered Mr. Game and Watch.

And soon…

_Ness & Olimar  
1st on 3:00 PM Bus_

Then, Ganondorf and Wario came. Wario was the one who tried his luck, and, as luck would have it, he pulled out a ticket for the 2:00 bus!

_Ganondorf & Wario  
__2nd on 2:00 PM Bus_

"Why are we invariably stuck with these two whenever we're near the front?" said Ganondorf, pointing at Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch.

"They're quite possibly the luckiest team to ever exist," said Wario.

_O Muro_

"Finally!" said a relieved Sonic.

"That took WAY too long," said Marth.

_Sonic & Marth  
__Currently in 7th Place_

After reading the clue, they set off for the station, and before long, they got there.

"Take your ticket," said the attendant.

"I'll do this," said Marth.

Marth took out a ticket for the 3:00 PM bus.

_Sonic & Marth  
2nd on 3:00 PM Bus_

* * *

_Café Majestic_

_Peach & Samus  
__On New School_

Peach and Samus had just finished,

"Yes! We got it!" said Samus.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Go by bus to Lisbon, Portugal," read Peach.

"Let's go!"

Just then, R.O.B. and Mario were done too.

Mario: We got all the signatures!

Restaurant owner: Okay! Here's your clue and bottle!

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__Currently in Last Place_

Mario read the clue. Then, they set off.

_Porto Bus Station_

"Take your ticket!" said the attendant.

"Okay, here goes!" said Peach, taking a ticket.

_Peach & Samus  
3rd on 2:00 PM Bus_

"Yes!" cheered Samus.

Soon, R.O.B. and Mario got there.

"This better be a good one!" said R.O.B.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__3rd on 3:00 PM Bus_

"Not bad," said Mario.

Later…

_1st Bus - 2:00 PM_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Ganondorf & Wario  
Peach & Samus_

_2nd Bus - 3:00 PM_

_Ness & Olimar  
Sonic & Marth  
R.O.B. & Mario  
_

_3rd Bus - 4:00 PM_

_Ike & Pit  
Falco & Link_

* * *

_Castelo do Mouros_

Jigglypuff and Kirby were the first to get there.

Triumphant but dramatic music started playing.

Jigglypuff and Kirby rushed onto the mat.

"Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number one!" said Bill.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
1st Place_

"Woo!" cheered Kirby.

"And I have some good news for you," said Bill. "As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won a Kodak Easyshare Digital Camera, which you can enjoy after the race."

Kirby's voice began to overdub the screen,

"At first, the other team thought we didn't have a shot at winning," said Kirby. "Now, we've shown that we're a real force to be reckoned with!"

_1st Bus  
__Lisbon Bus Station  
__Arrived at 5:30 PM_

"Yes! We're the first out!" said Peach.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Drive to Cabo da Roca," read Samus.

"Teams must now drive to Cabo da Roca, the westernmost point on mainland Europe," said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Drive to Cabo da Roca," read Luigi.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 4th Place_

"The others are going. Hurry!" urged Wario.

_Cabo da Roca_

"Yes! We're first to get here!" said Peach.

"And there's the cluebox!" said Samus.

Samus ran over to the cluebox and ripped open the envelope.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Go to the top of the cliff and rappel down," read Samus.

"Teams must now take a shuttle bus to the top of the cliff, then rappel down it for their next clue," said Bill.

"Rappelling, huh?" said Samus.

"It's not really my thing," said Peach apprehensively.

"Still, it's not like we have a choice," said Samus.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"So, we're rappelling? That's cool," said Luigi.

"The girls may be weak and/or scared," Mr. Game and Watch. "Here's our opportunity."

Luigi: Samus will be fine. Peach, however… yeah.

_Top of the cliff_

"Peach, are you ready to do this?" asked Samus.

Peach stared apprehensively over the edge of the cliff.

"Peach, are you scared?" said Samus.

"Yes, but not of heights. I just don't wanna break a nail," said Peach.

"My God..." said Samus to herself. "Listen, Peach. If you do this, when the race is over, we'll go for manicures - my treat!"

"Okay!"

However, that minor delay meant that Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch were now able to catch up to them.

Meanwhile, back at the bottom of the cliff…

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Go to the top of the cliff and rappel down," read Wario.

"We should be okay, as long as you don't break the rope!" said Ganondorf.

"What are you implying?" said Wario angrily.

Ganondorf: I'm not implying anything, lardo!

" Oh, so THAT'S how you wanna play it, fag?"

"Fag? I'm no fag! Never mind. Let's just go."

_Top of the cliff_

Samus and Mr. Game and Watch had already finished. Peach and Luigi were still rappelling, and were neck-and-neck.

"Come on! Hurry up!" urged Mr. Game and Watch.

"Just beat Luigi, Peach!" called out Samus.

"Wow. Peach is doing far better than I expected," said Luigi.

_2nd Bus  
__Lisbon Bus Station  
__Arrived at 6:30 PM_

"There's the cluebox!" said Marth.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Drive to Cabo da Roca," read Sonic.

"Okay, let's go!" said Marth.

_Cabo da Roca_

Peach and Luigi were both almost down. Ganondorf and Wario were further up.

In the end, it was Peach who beat Luigi to the bottom, albeit barely.

Both teams then scurried over to the cluebox.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Take a taxi to Castelo do Mouros, the pit stop," said Peach. "The last team to check in may be eliminated."

"Castelo do Mouros, or Castle of the Moors, is the fifth pit stop in a race around the world," said Bill. "The last team to check in may be eliminated."

"Hurry! We have to finish ahead of them!" said Samus.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated," said Luigi.

"We have to beat them! Let's hurry!" said Mr. Game and Watch urgently.

Later, in the taxis…

Peach and Samus' and Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch's taxis had taken alternate routes.

_Peach & Samus  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

"That was probably the scariest thing I've ever done," said Peach, still visibly shaken.

"You have **no** idea how proud I am of you," said Samus.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"I really hope we get there first!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

_Castelo do Mouros_

Both taxis came to a stop.

The camera panned to Bill.

The two teams came out of the taxis.

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch came running out, followed by Peach and Samus.

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch got to the mat first.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch…" said Bill.

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch waited for "the magic words", satisfied at their day's performance. Just then, Peach and Samus came.

"… it's not over yet. I have a clue for you. And for you, Peach and Samus."

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Road Block! Who has a liver of steel?" read Luigi.

"Road Block!" said Bill. A Road Block is a task that only one person can complete!  
In this Road Block, that team member must get out the bottle from earlier in the leg, then pour out a marked 650-millilitre portion into a marked jug, which will be measured to a marked line which denotes 650 millilitres. Then, that team member must drink that portion. After that, they can be checked in.

"I'll do it," said Luigi,

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"You do it," said Samus.

They started drinking the wine.

The camera closed up on Luigi, then Peach, then Luigi, and so on until…

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are team number two.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
2nd Place_

Just then, Peach finished.

"Peach and Samus, that would make you team number three," said Bill.

_Peach & Samus  
3rd Place_

* * *

_Cabo da Roca_

Sonic and Marth were the first to get there.

_Sonic & Marth  
__Currently in 5th Place_

"Go to the top of the cliff and rappel down," read Marth.

_Sonic & Marth  
__Interview after leg_

"I'd have given anything for any challenge but this one," said Marth. "I have a crippling fear of heights."

_Castelo do Mouros_

Ganondorf and Wario rushed up to the mat.

"Ganondorf and Wario,…" said Bill.

Ganondorf and Wario expected to be checked in.

"Here's your next clue."

"You're kidding," said Wario.

"No, I'm not"

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Road Block! Who has a liver of steel?" read Ganondorf.

"I'll do this," said Wario.

The wine was poured out, and before too long, Wario was done.

"Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number four," said Bill.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
4th Place_

* * *

_Cabo da Roca_

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Go to the top of the cliff and rappel down," read Olimar.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 7th Place_

"Okay, we can beat Ness and Olimar. Let's go!" said Mario.

Meanwhile, at the top of the cliff…

Sonic was about a quarter of the way down.

"Marth? Aren't you coming?"

"I can't do this!"

"Yes, you can. One million dollars is on the line!"

"No, I can't! It's too high and I'm too scared!"

Just then, Ness and Olimar and R.O.B. and Mario got there.

"Hey Marth, you don't have to do this if you don't want to," said Olimar.

"R-really?" said Marth.

Olimar's expression turned from sympathetic to delighted.

"I dunno! Bye!" said Olimar, going off to the ropes.

He and Ness hopped onto the rope, as did R.O.B. and Mario.

_3rd Bus  
__Lisbon Bus Station  
__Arrived at 7:30 PM_

Ike and Pit were out of the bus first, but then a race attendant came to them.

Attendant: Due to dimming light, we have deemed the next challenge unsafe. You will take a one-hour penalty, then take the clue proceeding it.

Falco and Link were told the same upon their arrival at the bus station.

Soon…

_Ike & Pit  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:56_

"Wow, this sucks," said Ike.

"You never know, maybe someone out there is really struggling," said Pit.

_Falco & Link  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:57_

"I don't wanna be eliminated!" whined Link.

Link started crying with his face buried in Falco's shirt.

Falco facepalmed.

_Cabo da Roca_

R.O.B. and Mario were first to make it down, quickly followed by Ness and Olimar.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Take a taxi to Castelo do Mouros," read Mario.

_Ness & Olimar  
__Currently in 6th Place_

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Ness. "Okay, let's move!"

_Lisbon Bus Station_

_Ike & Pit  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:49_

_Falco & Link  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:50_

Meanwhile, on the way to the pit stop…

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 6th Place_

"It's R.O.B. and Mario!" said Ness.

"Pass that taxi!" said Olimar to the taxi driver.

Their taxi passed them.

_Ness & Olimar  
__Currently in 5th Place_

"Yeah!" cheered Ness.

"Nice move, man!" said Olimar.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Crap!" said R.O.B.

Later…

_Castelo do Mouros_

Ness & Olimar had just gotten their clue and started pouring the wine when R.O.B. and Mario arrived.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Road Block! Who has a liver of steel?" read Mario.

"You do it," said R.O.B.

Because of his head start, Olimar had the advantage, and it paid off in the end when Mario lost out, and Ness and Olimar duly checked in first.

"Ness and Olimar, you are team number five," said Bill.

_Ness & Olimar  
5th Place_

Ness and Olimar slapped a high-five.

Mario quickly finished the rest of his wine.

"R.O.B. and Mario, you are team number six," said Bill.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__6th Place_

"Mario, considering you're Italian, how'd you lose out in wine-drinking?" asked Bill.

"Are you calling me a drunkard?" said Mario angrily.

"No, no! Nothing of the sort!"

"If you want a drunkard, you should see Luigi at nightclubs sometimes!"

"Hey! I heard that!"

"Ehehe…"

_Cabo da Roca_

Sonic was now at the bottom of the cliff.

Marth finally started on his way down. However, when he was about halfway down, two Parakoopas came and picked him up. Then, he was placed on the beach below the cliff.

"It's now past 8:00 P," said one of the Parakoopas. "It's unsafe to be doing this at this time. You will receive a 40-minute penalty, as the task was partially completed."

Later…

_Lisbon Bus Station_

_Ike & Pit  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:18_

_Falco & Link  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:19_

"We're gonna be eliminated," said Falco miserably.

_Cabo da Roca_

_Sonic & Marth  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:29_

"If we get eliminated, will it be my fault?" said Marth.

"No, of course not!" said Sonic.

"Really?"

"NO! It'll be 100% YOUR fault!" ranted Sonic. "Why'd you stall like that up there?"

"But…"

"No buts! ONE MILLION DOLLARS, Marth! And you could've blown it all right there!"

"But Sonic…"

"ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Do you know how many swords you could've bought with that money?"

"And…?"

"And conditioner!"

Marth started panicking.

Later still…

_Ike & Pit  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:08_

"This sucks. We blow the lead, and now we're here, nearly in last, and we could even be passed," said Ike.

_Falco & Link  
__Penalty Time Remaining: 0:09_

"Well, what can I say?" said Link. "Other than, 'WE'RE GONNA BE ELIMINATED!' "

He started pacing around frantically.

_Cabo da Roca_

_Sonic & Marth  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:19_

And finally…

_Ike & Pit  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:00_

The attendant came up to them.

"Here's your next clue," said the attendant.

_Ike & Pit  
__Currently in 7th Place_

"You must now drive to your next pit stop, Castelo do Mouros in Sintra," read Pit.

"Let's go!"

Then…

_Falco & Link  
__Penalty Time Remaining: 0:00_

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Okay, we have to beat Ike and Pit!" said Link.

_Cabo da Roca_

_Sonic & Marth  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:00_

"Finally!" said Marth.

Sonic and Marth hurried over to the cluebox.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in Last Place_

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Sonic.

In the taxi…

"If we get eliminated, you'll never hear the end of this," said Sonic.

"You just wait," said Marth.

Eventually…

_Castelo do Mouros_

The camera zoomed to the outside view, then to Bill and the mat.

Sonic and Marth came running up to the mat.

"Sonic and Marth…"

Sonic and Marth were practically shivering with excitement.

"…here's your next clue."

"Well, that was anticlimactic," said Sonic.

Marth read the clue.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 7th Place_

"Road Block! Who has a liver of steel?"

"I'll do it," said Sonic.

The wine was poured out to the correct amount.

In about 45 seconds, Sonic was done.

"I can now check you in," said Bill. "Sonic and Marth, you are team number…"

Dramatic background music played.

"…seven!"

_Sonic & Marth  
7th Place_

"Really?" said Marth.

"Yes, really," said Bill.

"HA! So I DIDN'T cause our elimination!" said Marth victoriously.

"For once, I'm glad I was wrong," said Sonic.

"I got that on tape!" said Marth, holding out a tape recorder.

_Playback_

"I was wrong," said Sonic.

_End Playback_

"Owned," said Marth.

Later, in the cars…

_Ike & Pit_

"Come on, come on!" said Pit.

_Falco & Link_

"Just a little more!" said Falco.

The screen panned to the pit stop.

Both teams were running to the mat.

All four of them reached the mat at the same time.

"Ike and Pit…" said Bill.

Falco: Oh crap.

"Here's your clue. Falco and Link, you get a clue, too."

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Road Block! Who has a liver of steel?" read Ike.

"You do it," said Pit.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in Last Place_

"I'll do this one," said Link.

"Okay! Looks like avoiding last place in this leg will come down to one helping of wine!" said Bill.

The camera zoomed in on Ike, then on Link, then back to Ike, then back to Link.

Finally…

"Done!"

"Ike and Pit, you are team number eight," said Bill.

_Ike & Pit  
8th Place_

About 20 seconds later, Link was done.

"Falco and Link, you are the last team to arrive," said Bill.

_Falco & Link  
Last Place_

"However, the good news is that this is one of four pre-determined non-elimination legs, so you're still in the race…"

"For real?" said an astonished Falco.

"For real."

Falco and Link started hugging Bill.

"Okay, guys, that's enough!"

They got off Bill.

"However, there is a catch," said Bill. "In the next leg, you will have to go through a Speed Bump."

"It's okay, as long as we're still in the race!" said Falco, clearly satisfied by the outcome.

**Finish Times:**

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 4:33 PM

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch: 6:58 PM

Peach and Samus: 6:59 PM

Ganondorf and Wario: 7:08 PM

Ness and Olimar: 7:55 PM

R.O.B. and Mario: 7:57 PM

Sonic and Marth: 8:58 PM

Ike and Pit: 9:28 PM

Falco and Link: 9:29 PM

Bill: Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:

Falco and Link go through their Speed Bump!

Teams "Expo"-se themselves to the race!

And, Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch have a meltdown at the detour!

_Mr. Game and Watch: Are you saying you don't wanna be in this race anymore?_

_Luigi: The way it's going, maybe._

Don't miss it!


	6. Are You Guys Demons?

"Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, nine teams flew to Lisbon, Portugal!" said Bill. "As the teams would all be on the same flight, Falco and Link made an alliance with Ganondorf and Wario."

_"Looks like we'll all be bunched up again," said Link._

_"We ought to make an alliance with Ganondorf and Wario," said Falco._

"However, at the detour, Falco and Link went on to betray them!"

_"Do you guys know where the O Muro restaurant is?" asked Wario._

_"Sorry! Can't tell you!" said Falco._

_Falco and Link left._

_"We've been had!" said Ganondorf angrily._

"Jigglypuff and Kirby and Ness and Olimar went after the Fast Forward…"

_The screen showed Jigglypuff, Kirby, Ness, and Olimar searching for the Fast Forward._

…and it was Jigglypuff and Kirby who prevailed…

_"We've been here about fifteen minutes," said Ness, visibly annoyed._

_"Found it!" said Jigglypuff._

"…giving them victory in this leg!"

_"Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number one!" said Bill._

"At a rappelling challenge at Cabo da Roca, Marth had a Mika moment."

_"I can't do this!"_

_"Yes, you can. One million dollars is on the line!"_

_"No, I can't! It's too high and I'm too scared!"_

"However, they survived the cut."

_"Sonic and Marth, you are team number… …seven!"_

"In the end, the final Road Block determined who avoided last place."

_"Okay! Looks like avoiding last place in this leg will come down to one helping of wine!" said Bill._

_The camera zoomed in on Ike, then on Link, then back to Ike, then back to Link._

"It was Ike and Pit who prevailed."

_"Ike and Pit, you are team number eight," said Bill._

"However, Falco and Link got a reprieve."

_"Falco and Link, you are the last team to arrive. …__ four pre-determined non-elimination legs…"_

"Can Falco and Link, who are almost five hours behind and have a coming Speed Bump, stay in the race? Can Jigglypuff and Kirby hold on to their huge lead? And can the chasing pack reel them in? Nine teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?"

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

Ike & Pit

R.O.B. & Mario

Peach & Samus

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Ness & Olimar

Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch

Falco & Link

"Jigglypuff and Kirby, who were first to arrive at 4:33 PM, will depart at 4:33 AM," said Bill.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
1st to depart, 4:33 AM_

"Fly to Montreal, Canada. You have $6 for this leg of the race," read Kirby.

"Teams will now fly more than five thousand kilometres to Montreal, Canada," said Bill. "Their next clue is at the airport exit."

"Right, let's go!" said Kirby.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Interview before leg_

"Going into this leg, with a huge lead, we were feeling buoyant," said Kirby.

"Aren't we already buoyant?" said Jigglypuff.

"We are?"

"Yeah, we can float!"

_Lisbon Portela Airport_

"Which flight to Montreal lands the earliest?" asked Jigglypuff.

"I can get you on a Spanair flight that leaves at 7:30 AM," said the attendant. "It connects in Barcelona and lands in Montreal at 2:05 PM local time."

"We'll take two tickets, then!" said Jigglypuff.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
2nd to depart, 6:58 AM_

"You have $6 for this leg of the race," read Luigi.

_Peach & Samus  
3rd to depart, 6:59 AM_

"Fly to Montreal, Canada," read Samus.

"We're down by two and a half hours, but if we can get on a good flight, we may be able to wipe that gap out," said Peach.

"Keep your fingers crossed," said Samus.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
4th to depart, 7:08 AM_

"Fly to Montreal, Canada. You have $6 for this leg of the race," said Wario.

"It's been weird for us so far," said Ganondorf. "Second, second, eighth, first, and fourth."

_Lisbon Portela Airport_

Jigglypuff and Kirby's flight had just left.

About 20 minutes later…

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"When's the next open flight to Montreal?" asked Luigi.

"I can get the two of you on a US Airways flight at 10:35 AM that connects through Philadelphia. It will land at 5:22 PM local time," said the attendant.

"We'll have two tickets for that flight," said Mr. Game and Watch.

Peach and Samus then came up and bought two tickets for that flight as well.

_Ness & Olimar  
5th to depart, 7:55 AM_

"Fly to Montreal, Canada," read Ness. "You have $6 for this leg of the race."

"Let's go!" said Olimar.

_R.O.B. & Mario_

_6th to depart, 7:57 AM_

Fly to Montreal, Canada," read R.O.B.

_Lisbon Portela Airport_

"…and we'll have two tickets for the US Airways flight to Montreal through Philadelphia," said Ganondorf.

Later…

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 5th Place_

"We'll have two tickets for the 10:35 flight," said Olimar.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 6th Place_

R.O.B. and Mario got their tickets for the 10:35 AM flight.

_Sonic & Marth  
7th to depart, 8:58 AM_

"We have to get over that debacle yesterday," said Marth.

"WHICH YOU CAUSED!" screamed Sonic. "You cause everything that goes wrong for us. Hell, you've caused floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, and global warming itself!"

"No, I haven't!"

"Oh yeah? Explain the message on your laptop that said 'I caused global warming'," said Sonic.

"Uhh…" said Marth, as a large anime-style sweatdrop appeared on the back of his head.

_Ike & Pit  
__8th to depart, 9:28 AM_

"Fly to Montreal, Canada. You have $6 for this leg of the race," read Pit.

In the car…

"Except for the first leg, we've pretty much sucked so far," said Ike.

_Flashback_

_(From Leg 2) "Ike and Pit, you are team number nine."  
_

_(From Leg 3) __"Ike and Pit, you are team number seven."_

_(From Leg 4) __"Ike and Pit, you are team number eight."_

_(From Leg 5) "Ike and Pit, you are team number eight."_

_End Flashback_

"Now we're five hours behind. That sucks," groaned Pit.

_Falco & Link  
Last to depart, 9:29 AM_

"You have $6 for this leg," read Link.

"Five hours down and a coming Speed Bump. The odds are really against us now," said Falco.

"Are odds the opposite of evens?"

"Shut up, elfie."

_Lisbon Portela Airport_

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 7th Place_

"What's the earliest landing flight in Montreal that we can get on?" asked Sonic.

"There's a Delta flight leaving here at 11:10 AM," said the attendant. "It connects through Paris and lands in Montreal at 5:30 PM local time."

"We'll have two tickets for it," said Marth.

Later…

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in 8th Place_

"The next flight you can get on is at 1:45 PM on British Airways through London. It will land in Montreal at 7:55 PM local time," said the attendant.

"We'll take two tickets for it," said Ike.

Falco and Link also took two tickets for that flight.

"All teams are now on interchanging flights to Montreal," said Bill. "On the 7:30 AM Spanair flight through Barcelona, Spain are Jigglypuff and Kirby. On the 10:35 AM US Airways flight through Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States are Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, Peach and Samus, Ganondorf and Wario, Ness and Olimar, and R.O.B. and Mario. On the 11:10 AM Air France flight through Paris, France are Sonic and Marth. On the 1:45 PM British Airways flight through London, England are Ike and Pit and Falco and Link."

_1st Flight  
__Montréal-Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport__  
Landed at 2:05 PM_

Jigglypuff and Kirby hurried to the exit, quickly finding the cluebox.

"Drive to the Square-Victoria Metro Station," read Jigglypuff. "Warning: Yield ahead."

"Teams must now drive to the Square-Victoria Metro Station. Also, there is the second of four Yields in the race," said Bill. "When teams exercise their yield power, they force another team to flip over this hourglass and stop that team from racing until the hourglass has run out."  
"For a yield to be exercised properly they can only yield teams that are behind them. This is one of four yields on the race, and teams may only use their powers once, so they must decide when it is most applicable."

Soon, they got into the car, and they got there.

"There's the cluebox and the Yield!" said Kirby.

"Let's not yield," decided Jigglypuff.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Detour: Slide It or Roll It," said Kirby.

"A detour is a choice between two tasks!" said Bill. "In this detour: Slide It or Roll It!"

"In Slide It, teams must go to a local ice rink that's marked by an Amazing Race flag, then play a round of curling against a local under-13 team. If they can beat them in one end, they can have their next clue. Otherwise, they must keep playing."  
"In Roll It, teams must go to a local swimming pool centre marked by an Amazing Race flag, then stay upon a rolling log for 25 seconds. If they can achieve that, they will receive their next clue; otherwise, they will have to repeat the task."  
T"his is both a power-designated challenge and a Smash Ball challenge."

"Let's do Slide It," said Jigglypuff.

Soon, they got to the ice rink.

Jigglypuff's first stone was safely inside.

The under-13 player's stone knocked it out of the way.

It continued like this on Kirby's first and Jigglypuff's second.

Now, Kirby would now launch his second and last stone.

"Come on, Kirby!" urged Jigglypuff.

Kirby launched his second stone, and it squeezed inside the under-13 player's stone in the ring.

The last stone of the round was launched, but it completely missed!

_Score:_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby: 1  
Under-13 Team: 0_

They got their Smash Balls and their next clue.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Drive to the Montreal Biosphere," read Kirby.

"Teams must now drive to the Montreal Biosphere, which was also the American pavilion for the Expo of 1967," said Bill.

There was nothing much of note as they headed to the Montreal Biosphere.

Before too long, they were there.

_Montreal Biosphere_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place  
_

"Go by taxi to the Trapezium," read Jigglypuff.

Before too long, they had made it to the Trapezium.

_Trapezium_

Jigglypuff and Kirby hurried over to the cluebox.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Battle! Are you ready for a dual threat?" read Kirby.

"Battle!" said Bill. "Battle challenges are challenges where both team members fight against a boss. If the team defeats the boss, the attendant will give them their next clue. If the team fails to defeat the boss, the team will be given a one-hour penalty. If either or both of the team members are still unconscious after one hour, the attendant will inject whoever is still unconscious with a chemical to restore their consciousness. Once the penalty is served, the team will receive their next clue. In this Battle, teams will fight Duon."

"Now may be a good time to use our Smash Balls," said Jigglypuff.

Duon came onto the battlefield.

Jigglypuff used her Final Smash to start off. She expanded, and Duon ran into her, doing plenty of damage to Duon.

Kirby floated up, then used his down-aerial.

Duon shot pink lasers at the ground, damaging Kirby. Jigglypuff, however, floated away from it.

_Jigglypuff: 0% damage  
Kirby: 9% damage  
Duon: 80% HP left_

Jigglypuff used her Side Smash, as did Kirby.

Duon bashed its head forward, damaging Jigglypuff.

_Jigglypuff: 14% damage  
Kirby: 9% damage  
__Duon: 73% HP left_

Later…

_Jigglypuff: 102% damage  
__Kirby: 88% damage  
Duon: 10% HP left_

"Now!" called out Jigglypuff.

Kirby destroyed the Smash Ball, and then used his Final Smash. He turned into Cook Kirby, and Duon flew into his pot, then back out.

It KO'd Duon!

"Well done! Here's your next clue," said the attendant.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Drive to the Montreal Olympic Stadium, the pit stop," read Jigglypuff. "The last team to check in may be eliminated."

"Teams must now drive to the Montreal Olympic Stadium, which was built when the 1976 Olympics were held in Montreal," said Bill. "The last team to check in may be eliminated."

Before too long, they were there.

_Montreal Olympic Stadium_

Bill stood at the mat.

Jigglypuff and Kirby came running towards it.

"Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number one!" said Bill.

"Yes!" cheered Kirby, fist-pumping.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
1st Place_

"And I have some good news for you," said Bill. "As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won a home theater system, which you can enjoy after the race."

"And that's not all," added Bill. "The other teams aren't expected to land in Montreal for another two hours!"

"Really?" said Jigglypuff.

"Really. This is the most dominant single-leg performance I have ever seen," said Bill, still in shock by the margin of victory.

Approximately two hours later…

_2nd Flight  
__Montréal-Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport__  
Landed at 5:22 PM_

"First out, woo!" said Mario happily.

R.O.B. and Mario hurried to the cluebox.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Drive to the Square-Victoria Metro Station. Warning: Yield ahead," read R.O.B.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Drive to the Square-Victoria Metro Station," read Olimar.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Warning: Yield Ahead," read Luigi.

"Let's go!"

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Maybe we shouldn't have used our Yield so quickly?" said Wario rather nervously.

"Nah, what's the worst that could happen?" said Ganondorf.

_Peach & Samus  
__Currently in 6th Place_

In the car…

"So far, so good," said Samus.

"At best, we'll be second after the next task, at worst, we'll be sixth, unless we get yielded," said Peach.

"Don't jinx it now!" said Samus, annoyed.

"But I was just…"

Samus stuffed a sock in Peach's mouth.

_3rd Flight  
__Montréal-Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport__  
Landed at 5:30 PM_

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 7th Place_

"We're only eight minutes behind the rest," said Marth.

"One error by any of them, and we'll be in the anemone!" said Sonic.

"Ascendancy," corrected Marth.

"Oh."

_Square-Victoria Metro Station_

R.O.B. and Mario had made it there. Then, they saw the Yield board.

"Let's yield Ganondorf and Wario," said Mario.

R.O.B. placed Ganondorf and Wario's picture on the board, then stuck their own on the "Courtesy of…" section.

"That'll teach them to go and yield us," said R.O.B. with satisfaction. "Now for the clue.?

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

"Detour: Slide It or Roll It," read Mario.

"I can't afford to short-circuit. Slide It," said R.O.B.

_Ness & Olimar  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"Let's go with Roll It," said Olimar.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 4th Place_

"We'll do Roll It," said Luigi.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"There's the cluebox," said Wario.

"Uh, Wario?"

Ganondorf pointed to the Yield board.

"Oh, WHAT THE [censor sound]!" screamed Wario.

"We got yielded! This sucks!" fumed Ganondorf.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 6th Place_

"We should do Slide It," said Samus.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 7th Place_

"We'll do Roll It," said Marth.

At the ice rink…

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__On Slide It_

"I'll start by using Fireball to launch the stone," said Mario.

Mario used a tiny Fireball so as not to melt the ice, but just enough to warm the stone, making it go further.

Down at the other end, R.O.B. was frantically sweeping the ice.

It landed neatly on the right side of the target.

The player from the under-13 squad then cast his stone. After it was swept sufficiently, it landed neatly inside the innermost circle.

Meanwhile, on another curling lane, Peach and Samus were doing theirs.

"Here goes!" said Samus, as she took her shot.

She sent the stone down the lane as Peach swept it.

It landed nicely, taking out an opponent's stone.

Eventually…

_R.O.B. & Mario  
On Slide It_

"Okay, I have this stone to seal it!" said Mario with anticipation.

It landed nicely, only about six centimetres from the centre.

The under-13 player slid his stone, and it wasn't as close to the centre. R.O.B. and Mario had won, and would now receive their next clue!

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

"Drive to the Montreal Biosphere," read Mario.

_Marked swimming pool_

Ness and Olimar had just completed it.

"That was EASY!" bragged Ness.

"Only a noob wouldn't be able to do that!" said Olimar.

Having already gotten a Smash Ball, they got their clue.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 3rd Place_

After reading the clue, they left.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
On Roll It_

"That looks really easy!" noted Luigi.

"We chose the right challenge!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

So, they stepped onto the log. Within seconds, they fell off.

"How did they do it?" asked Mr. Game and Watch rhetorically.

_Sonic & Marth  
On Roll It_

"Okay, we know what to do," said Marth.

However, Sonic started running really quickly on the log, overbalancing it and knocking Marth off.

"What was THAT for, asshole?" raged Marth.

"Well, doesn't speed solve everything?"

"No!"

_Flashback to Leg 1_

"Sonic and Marth, you are the second team to arrive…"

Sonic and Marth looked at Bill apprehensively.

"but Sonic sped on the way to the portals." finished Bill. "You have received a 45-minute penalty."

"Thanks a lot, Sonic," said Marth, glaring at Sonic.

_End Flashback_

* * *

_Marked ice rink_

Peach had just shot the winning stone.

"Yes! We beat them!" cheered Peach.

Peach and Samus got their clue.

_Peach & Samus  
__Currently in 4th Place_

"Drive to the Montreal Biosphere," read Peach.

_Marked swimming pool_

_Sonic & Marth  
__On Roll It_

"This is ridiculous," said Marth.

"We've fallen in yet again," said Sonic.

"And who was the moron who caused it?"

"You?" said Sonic desperately.

"No, YOU DID!" shouted Marth.

"This from the guy who wears frilled pink underwear," said Sonic snidely.

"What?"

A random guy came up and wedgied Marth.

"PWNED!" said Sonic.

Meanwhile, Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch were struggling.

"This is so [censor sound] hard!" said an exasperated Mr. Game and Watch.

"The person who came up with this challenge is a frickin' sadist!" said Luigi furiously.

_Montreal Biosphere_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__Currently in 2nd Place_

"Go by taxi to the Trapezium," read R.O.B. from the clue.

_Ness & Olimar  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"Hurry, Ness! We have to pass them!" said Olimar.

Ness had an idea.

"Hey! It's the finish line!"

R.O.B. and Mario turned for a split second, but then hurried back, realizing that they had been tricked.

Ness and Olimar ran past them.

"See ya later, suckers!" taunted Ness.

Later…

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Go by taxi to the Trapezium," read Peach.

_Trapezium_

Ness and Olimar made it there.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Battle! Are you ready for a dual threat?" said Ness.

Duon stepped onto the battlefield.

"Here we go!" said Olimar.

Ness opened with his side smash.

Olimar then opened with his down-aerial.

Duon shot some pink lasers.

_Ness: 8% damage  
Olimar: 9% damage  
Duon: 91% HP remaining_

Just then, R.O.B. and Mario turned up.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
__Currently in 3rd Place_

"Battle, huh?" said Mario.

"Ness and Olimar are already battling," noted R.O.B.

Eventually…

_Ness: KO'd  
__Olimar: 128% damage  
Duon: 6% HP left_

Duon launched one last attack that KO'd Olimar.

"They got KO'd! Here's our chance!" said Mario excitedly.

_Marked swimming pool_

_Sonic & Marth  
On Roll It_

"15 seconds now," said Marth.

They kept rolling.

"20 seconds."

5… 4… 3… 2… 1... 0! They had done it!

They got their clue, and Smash Balls.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 5th Place_

Sonic: Drive to the Montreal Biosphere.

_Trapezium_

_R.O.B.: 95% damage  
Mario: 113% damage  
Duon: 22% HP left_

R.O.B. and Mario both used their standard aerials, but Duon sent a large shockwave, KO'ing them both.

_Marked swimming pool_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch were still struggling.

The screen panned to them falling off again.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
On Roll It_

"We'll never get the hang of this goddamn log!" said Luigi angrily.

"This is absurd," groaned Mr. Game and Watch.

They had fallen off yet again.

"We can't do this," said Luigi.

"Yes, we can!" urged Mr. Game and Watch

"YOU! This is all YOUR fault!" fumed Luigi.

"ME? It was YOUR idea!" raged Mr. Game and Watch.

"Who the [censor sound] cares? This challenge sucks, you suck, and this race is getting annoying!" fired back Luigi.

"Are you saying you don't wanna be in this race anymore?"

"The way it's going, maybe."

"Come on, Luigi. One million dollars!"

_Square-Victoria Metro Station_

Ganondorf and Wario had finally been unyielded and had chosen Slide It.

_Trapezium_

Peach and Samus had also fallen victim to Duon. Sonic and Marth were next, but…

_Sonic: KO'd  
Marth: 122% damage  
Duon: 14% HP left_

With one spin, Duon KO'd Marth. Marth had previously missed with his Final Smash. Sonic had already used his earlier on in the battle.

_Marked swimming pool_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
On Roll It_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch had fallen in for the umpteenth time.

"This is utterly ridiculous," said Luigi.

"We can't do this," said Mr. Game and Watch. "Let's do the other task."

However, Ganondorf and Wario were already done and heading for the Montreal Biosphere.

Soon, at the curling task, they were done and heading off.

Later…

_Trapezium_

Ness and Olimar's time penalty was now over.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Drive to the Montreal Olympic Stadium," read Ness.

"Okay, let's go!" said Olimar.

Ganondorf and Wario had just arrived.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Battle! Are you ready for a dual threat?" read Wario.

To start off, Ganondorf used Dark Dive, while Wario used Wario Bike.

Duon shot pink lasers at them.

_Ganondorf: 10% damage  
Wario: 10% damage  
__Duon: 91% HP left_

Ganondorf used his side-aerial.

Wario used Chomp, but missed.

Duon shot more lasers.

_Ganondorf: 19% damage  
Wario: 18% damage  
Duon: 87% HP left_

Eventually…

_Ganondorf: KO'd  
Wario: KO'd  
Duon: 13% HP left_

Just then, R.O.B. and Mario's time penalty ended, and Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch entered the battlefield.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Mario. "Let's go!"

_Montreal Olympic Stadium_

Ness and Olimar ran to the mat.

"Ness and Olimar, you are team number two," said Bill.

_Ness & Olimar  
2nd Place_

"Yeah!" cheered Ness.

"That's awesome!" said Olimar.

_Trapezium_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch were locked in a tough battle against Duon.

_Luigi: 69% damage  
Mr. Game and Watch: 60% damage  
Duon: 44% HP left_

"Come on! Step it up, G&W!" urged Luigi.

"Okay!"

Luigi used his down-aerial.

Mr. Game and Watch used Judgment, and it was Judgment 1.

Duon bashed its head forward, damaging Luigi.

_Luigi: 86% damage  
Mr. Game and Watch: 60% damage  
Duon: 39% HP left_

Meanwhile…

_Montreal Olympic Stadium_

R.O.B. and Mario got onto the mat.

"R.O.B. & Mario, you are team number three," said Bill.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
3rd Place_

* * *

_Trapezium_

"Fireball!" yelled Luigi as he used it.

It KO'd Duon!

"Well done! Here's your next clue," said the attendant.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Drive to the Montreal Olympic Stadium," read Mr. Game and Watch.

But, just then, Peach and Samus' time penalty expired.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 5th Place_

"The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Peach.

"Go! We can beat them!" said Samus.

_Montreal Olympic Stadium_

It was a footrace between the two pairs! Bill waited at the mat expectantly.

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch led Peach and Samus, and, as it turned out, they made it there first.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are team number four," said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
4th Place_

"I heard you guys struggled at the detour."

"Yeah. What kind of retarded sadist came up with that log-rolling challenge?" said Luigi.

"Uh, that would be me, and I can kick you off the race right now," said the producer.

"Uhh…"

Peach and Samus then came up to the mat.

"Peach and Samus, you are team number five," said Bill.

_Peach & Samus  
5th Place_

* * *

_4th Flight  
__Montréal-Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport__  
Landed at 7:55 PM_

"Crap! We're probably way behind everyone else," said Falco.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Drive to the Square-Victoria Metro Station," read Link.

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in Last Place_

"Warning: Yield Ahead," read Pit.

In the car…

"This is a disaster," said Ike.

"We'll be eliminated if we don't do something," said Pit.

_Montreal Olympic Stadium_

Sonic and Marth hurried to the mat.

"Sonic and Marth, you are team number six," said Bill.

_Sonic & Marth  
6th Place_

"You know, this is the third time you've come in sixth, and it's the sixth leg…"

"And?" said Marth.

"Are you guys demons?"

"Uh, no," said Sonic, clearly taken aback. "But, we're devilishly good at this race!"

"Fifth, sixth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and sixth," said Bill sarcastically. "Yeah…"

_Square-Victoria Metro Station_

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Detour: Slide It or Roll It," read Falco.

"Slide It, definitely," said Link.

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in Last Place_

"Okay, at least we didn't get yielded," said Pit.

"It's a detour," noted Ike.

"Let's do Slide It," said Pit.

_Marked ice rink_

Falco shot the first stone, and it landed very nicely, fairly close to the center.

The under-13 player shot his stone, and it nipped Falco's stone. Unfortunately for him, it pushed Falco's stone closer to the center.

_Falco & Link: 1  
Under-13 Team: 0_

On the other lane, Pit had just missed.

_Ike & Pit: 0  
__Under-13 Team: 1_

Eventually…

_Falco & Link: 1  
Under-13 Team: 1_

Link took a shot, and Falco swept the ice frantically.

"I'm being reduced to a mere cleaner here," said Falco.

His stone struck the under-13 team's player's stone, and knocked it out!

The last under-13 player sent his stone down as it was swept by his teammate.

It wasn't close enough.

_Falco & Link: 2  
Under-13 Team: 1_

"Yes!" cheered Link.

They got their next clue.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Go by taxi to the Montreal Biosphere," read Link.

Ike and Pit, however, had missed, and they had to redo the task.

_Montreal Biosphere_

"Ike and Pit lost their curling match," said Link.

"We now have a chance," said Falco.

"There's the cluebox!"

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Drive to the Trapezium," read Falco.

_Marked ice rink_

Ike and Pit had just finished.

Pit: Yes! We got it!

Ike and Pit got their clue.

_Ike & Pit  
Currently in Last Place_

"Go by taxi to the Montreal Biosphere," read Ike.

In the taxi…

"God, this sucks!" said Pit, annoyed.

"We need something huge to happen, or we'll be eliminated!" said Ike.

_Trapezium_

Ganondorf and Wario's time penalty had just ended.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 7th Place_

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Wario.

"Let's go!"

Just then, Falco and Link showed up to battle.

Duon appeared on the battlefield.

Falco and Link started the battle. Falco used Fire Bird, and Link followed up with Hero's Bow.

Duon threw some landmines on the floor.

_Falco: 0% damage  
__Link: 0% damage  
Duon: 92% HP left_

Falco then used his down-aerial, while Link used Hero's Bow again.

Duon shot some lasers. Then, the landmines detonated.

_Falco: 33% damage  
__Link: 27% damage  
Duon: 86% HP left_

Later…

_Falco: 144% damage  
__Link: KO'd  
Duon: 3% HP left_

Falco used his side-smash.

Duon was KO'd!

After that, Link was revived, but, before they could get their clue, they saw a sign with the words "Speed Bump" written on it.

Falco took the clue hanging from the board.

"Speed Bump," read Falco.

"Speed Bump!" said Bill. "A speed bump is a task that only Falco and Link must complete to receive their next clue, having come last in the last leg! In this speed bump, they must, one by one, perform a trapeze maneuver called a catch. Once both members have completed the task, they will receive their next clue."

In the trapeze arena, Link decided to go first.

His first attempt missed completely, as did his second.

"Link! You're supposed to be the 'chosen one'!" mocked Falco.

"Shut up!" shouted Link. "At least I'm the main character of my series!"

After a few more failed attempts, Link got onto the trapeze again, and did it flawlessly!

Falco was up next.

Outside, in the battle…

_Ike: KO'd  
Pit: KO'd  
Duon: 21% HP left_

Back in the arena…

"Personally, I prefer the air!" said Falco, in his Final Smash voice.

He got on, but then missed. However, he nailed it on his second attempt.

They got the clue.

_Falco & Link  
Currently in 8th Place_

"Drive to the Montreal Olympic Stadium, the pit stop. The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Link.

"Okay, let's get to it!" said Falco.

_Montreal Olympic Stadium_

Falco and Link hurried to the mat where Bill was standing.

"Falco and Link…"

"I know what you're gonna say already," said Link sadly.

"Well, did you know that I was gonna say that you were team number eight?" said Bill.

_Falco & Link  
8th Place_

"Yes, I thought so," said Link. "We're elimi-wait, whaaaat?"

"Yep! You're still in the race," said Bill.

"Really? Even with the Speed Bump and everything," said a shocked Falco.

"Really."

Falco and Link were in utter shock.

"Awesome! To quote Josh Peck, 'Hug me, brotha!' " said Link happily.

"Not on your life," said Falco.

Almost an hour later, Ike and Pit came up to the pit stop.

"Ike and Pit, you're the last team to arrive," said Bill.

_Ike & Pit  
Last Place_

"I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race," said Bill. "Any final thoughts?"

"It was a worthy experience," said Ike solemnly. "Even though we only came ninth, I'll remember this always."

"Hi, Mum! It's me, Pit! I'm on TV!" said Pit exuberantly.

"You already knew you were on TV!" said Ike, annoyed

**Finish Times:**

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 3:15 PM

Ness and Olimar: 7:33 PM

R.O.B. and Mario: 7:42 PM

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch: 7:53 PM

Peach and Samus: 7:54 PM

Sonic and Marth: 8:01 PM

Ganondorf and Wario: 8:44 PM

Falco and Link: 9:18 PM

Ike and Pit: 10:10 PM (Eliminated)

Bill: Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch and Peach and Samus take Super Smash Brothers "Brawl" to a new level!

And, a puzzling Road Block!

Don't miss it!


	7. I Can't Say It On National Television

"Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, nine teams flew to Montreal, Canada!" said Bill. "The detour proved problematic for some…"

_"This is so [censor sound] hard!" said an exasperated Mr. Game and Watch._

_"The person who came up with this challenge is a frickin' sadist!" said Luigi furiously._

…while others cruised through it.

_The screen showed Kirby scoring a point at curling._

"Jigglypuff and Kirby were the only team on the first flight."

_"Which flight to Montreal lands the earliest?" asked Jigglypuff._

_"I can get you on a Spanair flight that leaves at 7:30 AM," said the attendant. "It connects in Barcelona and lands in Montreal at 2:05 PM local time."_

_"We'll take two tickets, then!" said Jigglypuff._

"Because of this, victory in this leg was easy for them in an absolutely dominant display!"

_"Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number one!" said Bill._

_"Yes!" cheered Kirby, fist-pumping._

"The battle against Duon was utterly brutal, claiming six teams as victims."

_The screen showed Sonic and Marth, then Ganondorf and Wario, getting KO'd by Duon._

"However, it was this battle who decided who was eliminated."

_The screen showed Falco and Link beating Duon, then Ike and Pit getting KO'd._

_"Falco and Link…"_

_"I know what you're gonna say already," said Link sadly._

_"Well, did you know that I was gonna say that you were team number eight?" said Bill._

"Ike and Pit's race bid ended here."

_"Ike and Pit, you're the last team to arrive," said Bill._

"Can Falco and Link, who are over six hours behind the leaders, stay in the race? Can Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch avoid infighting this time? And can Ganondorf and Wario regroup after two disastrous legs, falling from first to seventh in two legs' span? Eight teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?"

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

R.O.B. & Mario

Peach & Samus

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Ness & Olimar

Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch

Falco & Link

"Jigglypuff and Kirby, who were first to arrive at 3:15 PM, will depart at 3:15 AM."

_Jigglypuff & Kirby_

_1st to depart, 3:15 AM_

"Go by bus to Toronto. You have $59 for this leg of the race," read Jigglypuff.

"Teams will now have to travel over 500 kilometres by bus to Toronto, Canada," said Bill. "At the bus station, there will be eight tickets pinned to a marked board. Teams will take one of those tickets from that board. The tickets are for buses that leave at the following times: 9:30 AM, 11:30 AM, 1:30 PM, and 3:30 PM."

At the bus station…

"There's the marked board!" said Kirby.

They looked through the tickets.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
1st on 9:30 AM Bus_

"Yes!"

_Ness & Olimar  
2nd to depart, 7:33 AM_

"Go by bus to Toronto," read Ness. "You have $59 for this leg of the race."

"Jigglypuff and Kirby are beasts," said Olimar. "We finished second, and yet we were still four hours down on them."

"Well, we could still beat them in this leg!" said Ness.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
3rd to depart, 7:42 AM_

"Go by bus to Toronto," read Mario.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Interview before leg_

"People wrote us off early on, when we had a really bad start," said Mario.

"But, this third-place finish has been our best thus far," said R.O.B. "We think that we could seriously stamp our mark on this race."

_Gare D'Autocars de Montreal (Bus Station)_

"The tickets are on that board!" said Ness, pointing to the board.

_Ness & Olimar  
2nd on 9:30 AM Bus_

R.O.B. and Mario then showed up, and they took the 11:30 ticket.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
1st on 11:30 AM Bus

* * *

_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
4th to depart, 7:53 AM_

"Go by bus to Toronto. You have $59 for this leg of the race," read Luigi.

"The last leg was a disaster," said Mr. Game and Watch.

"The detour was just… my God," groaned Luigi.

"Here's hoping we don't have to go through another ridiculous detour like that again," said Mr. Game and Watch.

"Still, at least we're no longer marked men," said Luigi.

"What are you implying by that?" asked Mr. Game and Watch rhetorically.

"We've lost our edge," said Luigi.

"No, we haven't! In fact, I'm all edges!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

"Leave the lame puns to Sonic, okay?"

_Peach & Samus  
5th to depart, 7:54 AM_

"Okay, we're starting fifth," said Samus. "The main objective here is to not screw this leg up, and the secondary objective is to not piss each other off."

"And, the three-ary objective…" said Peach.

"Tertiary, Peach," corrected Samus.

"Whatever," said Peach. "It's… to do THE BIG GAY DANCE!"

"You're not Dedede," said Samus.

_Sonic & Marth  
6th to depart, 8:01 AM_

"Go by bus to Toronto," read Sonic.

_Gare D'Autocars de Montreal_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch and Peach and Samus arrived at the same time!

All four of them got to the board at the same time.

"We got here first!" raged Mr. Game and Watch.

"No, _we_ did!" yelled Samus.

"Wanna fight over it?" said Luigi fiercely.

"Don't mind if I do," said Peach angrily.

The punches, kicks, and other things started flying around.

Then…

Peach used Peach Bomber, knocking back Mr. Game and Watch. Peach quickly took the ticket.

_Peach & Samus  
2nd on 11:30 AM bus_

But, right after that…

"Okay, you guys! Break it up!" said a security guard.

They were escorted out of the station.

"…and you four won't be served at this station for another six months!" said the security guard.

"Great. What do we do now?" said Luigi.

"Looks like we'll have to drive there," said Mr. Game and Watch.

Back inside…

_Sonic & Marth  
1st on 1:30 PM bus_

"Good thing the law came for them!" said Marth, relieved.

"Hahaha, 'came' for them!" laughed Sonic. "Epic!"

Marth slugged Sonic.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
7th to depart, 8:44 AM_

"You have $59 for this leg of the race," read Wario.

"Suckage. We're second last, having finished in the top two three times in the first four legs," said Ganondorf.

"We need something to change this into our favour," said Wario.

_Bus station_

"Hey, there's still a 1:30 ticket!" noted Wario.

Wario took it.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
2nd on 1:30 PM bus_

Back at the pit stop…

_Falco & Link  
Last to depart, 9:18 AM_

"Go by bus to Toronto," read Falco.

"Six hours behind," said Link.

"If I'm to be frank…" said Falco.

"Oh! In that case, can I be James?"

"No," snapped Falco. "Anyway, as I was saying, seriously speaking, we have little to no chance of making the next round unless something crazy happens."

Eventually, at the bus station…

"Well, whoop-de-do," said Link sarcastically. "Only 3:30 tickets left."

_Falco & Link  
1st on 3:30 PM bus_

"We're still six hours behind," said Falco. "This sucks."

_1st Bus to Toronto_

"Teams on the 9:30 AM bus to Toronto include Jigglypuff and Kirby and Ness and Olimar," said Bill.

In the cars on the way to Toronto…

"We've made an alliance with Peach and Samus," said Luigi to the camera.

"We know we're both gonna get penalized, so to us, this is the best way for now," said Mr. Game and Watch

In the other car…

"I just hope our penalty isn't too heavy," said Peach.

"We'll just have to hope," said Samus.

_Gare D'Autocars de Montreal_

_2nd Bus to Toronto_

"The only team on the 11:30 AM bus to Toronto is R.O.B. and Mario," said Bill.

_Toronto, Canada_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch were first there.

"We should scan the city, then text or call Peach and/or Samus when we find it," decided Mr. Game and Watch.

"Right," agreed Luigi.

_Gare D'Autocars de Montreal_

_3rd Bus to Toronto_

"Teams on the 1:30 PM bus include Sonic and Marth and Ganondorf and Wario," said Bill.

_Toronto_

Peach and Samus had now arrived. Now, both them and Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch had been there for about half an hour.

"We'll have to split up for this," said Peach.

"Yeah, we really need to cover as much ground as we possibly can," said Luigi.

Later, at the CN Tower…

"Wow! The CN Tower is HUGE!" said a stunned Luigi.

"But more than that…" said Mr. Game and Watch.

"Why?"

"There's the cluebox!"

"Okay, but should we betray Peach and Samus?" asked Luigi.

"Nah!"

"Why?"

"The blondies aren't really threats. If things go well, we could see one of the stronger teams getting eliminated."

"Okay! Get your cellphone out!"

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch texted Peach and Samus, then took the clue.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Detour: Ship or Shoe," read Luigi.

"A detour is a choice between two tasks!" said Bill. "In this detour: Ship or Shoe!"

"In Ship, teams must sail across Toronto Harbour to Queen's Quay. Then, one team member must scale the 30-metre mast of the Kajama and retrieve a nautical flag. Then, they must present the flag to a man in an Amazing Race suit, who will give them their next clue."  
"In Shoe, teams must purchase one of several marked pairs of shoes, then search for the person who is wearing that same pair of shoes in a marked zone. That person will give them their next clue."

"Shoe?" suggested Luigi.

"Sounds good to me," said Mr. Game and Watch.

A little later, Peach and Samus came up.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"We should do Shoe," said Peach.

"I think we'd be better at Ship," responded Samus.

"Perhaps. What could be the harm in that?"

The camera then switched over to the bus station. It then zoomed in on a cluebox. Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch and Peach and Samus had forgotten about the buses and skipped a clue!

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
On Shoe_

"Ooh, I like this pair!" said Luigi, pointing to a pair. "It matches my overalls. But wait! The one to the right of it matches my skin tone. And then there's one which goes with…"

"Oh, just pick one already, snob!" said Mr. Game and Watch, who had lost his patience.

"I'm no snob!"

He then selected a pair.

Unbeknownst to Luigi, Mr. Game and Watch had taped a Post-it note saying "Snob" to Luigi's back.

Meanwhile…

_Toronto Harbour_

_Peach & Samus  
On Ship_

"If things go according to plan, we'll have this made," said Samus.

They got onto the boat.

Meanwhile…

"Ugh! Where's the goddamn pair we're looking for?" said Luigi.

"Why is this so hard?" whigned Mr. Game and Watch.

_Toronto Harbour_

"There it is!"

Samus started climbing the mast to retrieve the flag.

_Marked zone_

"There's the pair we need!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

They got their clue.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Drive to Queenston, Canada, and then go to the Boat Ramp," read Luigi.

"Teams will now drive 70 kilometres to Queenston, Canada, then go to the Boat Ramp, where they will find their next clue," said Bill.

_Toronto Harbour_

_Peach & Samus  
On Ship_

Samus had just gotten back down.

Before too long, they got the clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Drive to Queenston, Canada, and then go to the Boat Ramp," read Peach.

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

"Yes! There's the cluebox!"

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch hurried over to the cluebox.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Road Block!" read Luigi. "Who has 'piece' of mind?"

"Road Block!" said Bill. "A Road Block is a task that only one person can complete!"  
"In this Road Block, that team member must enter a marked room and complete a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle of the Super Smash Brothers Brawl logo, then show it to the judge sitting on a nearby bench. Once completed, he will give the team their next clue."

"I'll do it," said Mr. Game and Watch.

_1st Bus  
Toronto Coach Station  
Arrived at 4:10 PM_

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Take a taxi to the CN Tower," read Olimar.

"A clue that two other teams missed, teams must now take a taxi to the CN Tower," said Bill.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 4th Place_

"We have to hurry! We must beat Ness and Olimar!" urged Kirby.

"If we pass them, we'll be in the lead!" said Jigglypuff.

"Three legs in a row? Maybe!" said Kirby.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch won two in a row, so, if we win this leg, we'll beat them!" said Jigglypuff with anticipation.

"But we'll already beat them!"

"I mean in the overall sense."

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

Peach and Samus rushed over to get the clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Who has 'piece' of mind?" read Samus.

"I'll do this one," said Peach.

Meanwhile...

"Yes! That's the last piece needed!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

They got the clue.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Make your way down the marked path on foot to the pit stop here. You may use your powers to help you get ahead," read Luigi. "The last team to check in may be eliminated."

"Teams must now walk approximately 600 metres down the marked path to the pit stop here at the Boat Ramp," said Bill. "This is a power-designated challenge. The last team to check in may be eliminated."

"Let's go!"

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me! They're done already?" fumed Peach.

"Just focus on the puzzle!" snapped Samus.

"Shut up!"

At the pit stop…

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch made it to the mat.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are the first team to arrive…"

"Yeah, I think I know what comes next," said Luigi.

"…but, not only did you use the wrong mode of transportation in one of your tasks, you also skipped a cluebox. Since you got a three-hour advantage from using the car, you have incurred a four-hour penalty, plus an extra one-hour penalty for skipping the cluebox," said Bill. "That brings your total penalty time up to five hours, and this penalty starts… now."

"I just hope we're not eliminated," said Mr. Game and Watch.

_CN Tower_

"Yes! There's the clue!" said Olimar.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"It's a detour!" said Ness.

"We'll do Shoe," said Olimar.

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

Peach had only finished half the puzzle.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch are long gone now. We could be eliminated because of this," said a frustrated Peach.

"Let's not forget the time penalty," added Samus.

"Scratch that, we WILL be eliminated because of this."

_CN Tower_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Detour: Ship or Shoe," read Kirby.

"We should do Ship," said Jigglypuff.

_Marked zone_

_Ness & Olimar  
On Shoe_

"Okay, so we now have our pair," said Ness.

"If we can nail this detour, we should be good to go," said Olimar.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On Ship_

"This isn't power-designated. That means we can't float for this," said Kirby.

"But, we've both got stubby legs!" groaned Jigglypuff.

"Should we switch?" asked Kirby.

"Actually, no," said Jigglypuff.

"Okay, let's go!"

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

"Yes! It's finally done!" said Peach.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"...the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Samus.

"Let's go!"

_Toronto Harbour_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On Ship_

"Can't this boat go any faster?" said Kirby.

"Unfortunately, no," said Jigglypuff.

"Well, that sucks."

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

Peach and Samus hurried down the marked path. Soon, they saw Bill standing at the pit stop's mat, and they got there.

"Peach and Samus, you are the second team to arrive, but, not only did you use the wrong mode of transportation in one of your tasks, you also skipped a cluebox, and Samus used a power in a non-power-designated challenge. Since you got a three-hour advantage from using the car, you have incurred a four-hour penalty, plus an extra one-hour penalty for skipping the cluebox, and a two-hour penalty for using a power in a non-power-designated challenge," said Bill. "That brings your total penalty time up to seven hours, and this penalty starts… now."

"Seven hours. Crap," said Peach.

"We are gonna be eliminated," said Samus.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Penalty Time Remaining: 4:32_

"Well, we won't be eliminated," said Luigi, relieved.

"We still might be second last, though," said Mr. Game and Watch.

"You're right - that'll put us at a huge disadvantage for the next leg," said Luigi.

_Marked zone_

"Which pair did you choose again?" asked Ness.

"The red and blue polka-dotted one," said Olimar.

"What?"

"Never mind."

Soon…

"Isn't that the one?"

Ness pointed at a pair of yellow gumboots.

Olimar slapped Ness.

_Toronto Harbour_

"Hurry up, Jigglypuff!" called out Kirby.

"Stubby legs? Remember?" said Jigglypuff.

_Marked zone_

"Yes! That's the one!" said Olimar.

He talked to the person who had the same pair he bought.

It was red with blue polka dots.

Ness and Olimar got the clue.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Drive to Queenston, Canada," read Ness.

_Toronto Harbour_

"Yes! We finally got it!" said Kirby happily.

Soon, they had the clue.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Drive to Queenston, Canada, and then go to the Boat Ramp," read Jigglypuff.

"We better hurry!" said Kirby.

_2nd Bus  
Toronto Coach Station  
Arrived at 6:10 PM_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Take a taxi to the CN Tower," read Mario.

"CN Tower? There should be an R.O.B. tower!" said R.O.B.

"Well, do you want me to send you to the S.T.F.U. tower?" said Mario angrily.

"The S.T.F.U. tower? Is there such a thing?" asked R.O.B.

"You don't get it, do you?"

"…no."

_CN Tower_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"It's a detour," said Mario.

"Ship?" suggested R.O.B.

"Yeah, let's do Ship."

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

"There's the clue!" said Olimar.

Olimar picked up the clue and read it.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Road Block! Who has 'piece' of mind?" read Olimar. "I'll do it."

A little later…

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Road Block," read Kirby.

"I reckon I should do this," said Jigglypuff.

"Okay then," said Kirby.

_Toronto Harbour_

"So, all we need to do is go get the flag," said R.O.B.

"Yes," said Mario.

"That'll be easy!" said R.O.B. confidently.

"This isn't a power-designated challenge," said Mario.

"Oh, right. Crap," said R.O.B.

Later, at the mast…

"I should climb it," said Mario.

"But Mario…" protested R.O.B.

"No buts," insisted Mario.

"Still, I think I'd be better at this," said R.O.B.

"I know what I'm doing," said Mario.

"No, you don't!" fired back R.O.B.

"Do you wanna go to S.T.F.U. tower again?" said Mario angrily.

"Sure, why not!" said R.O.B.

"Do you want me to tell you what it stands for?"

"Okay."

"I would, but I can't say it on national television," said Mario.

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

"Come on, Olimar! We just need to finish ahead of Jigglypuff and Kirby!" called out Ness.

"I'm trying!"

On the other side of the room…

"Argh! I can't make heads or tails of this!" fumed Jigglypuff.

_Toronto Harbour_

Mario was now climbing the mast.

"Yes! I got it!"

R.O.B. and Mario got back to the person who was to give them their next clue.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Drive to Queenston, Canada," read Mario.

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

Olimar was now just about done.

"Yes! That's the last piece!"

He put the last piece into the puzzle.

"No. Frigging. Way. I'm not even half done yet," said a frustrated Jigglypuff.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Make your way down the marked path on foot to the pit stop here," read Olimar.

"Let's go!" said Ness.

They hurried down the marked path.

Bill was waiting at the mat, and, of course, they arrived.

"Ness and Olimar, you are team number one!" said Bill.

_Ness & Olimar  
1st Place_

"Yeah!" cheered Ness.

"You are now one of three teams to have won two legs," said Bill. "Do you think that you can make it three?"

"Why not?" said Olimar. "They say the sky's the limit, and considering I've been to Distant Planet…"

"Never mind about that. Anyway, I have some good news for you. As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won $20,000," said Bill.

Back in the room…

"Ugh! This is way too hard!" groaned Jigglypuff.

"Here's a hint: Sides first!" said Kirby.

"That's what I'm doing!"

Finally…

"It's done!"

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Make your way down the marked path to the pit stop," read Kirby.

Jigglypuff and Kirby headed down the marked path, and soon, they had checked in.

"Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number two," said Bill.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
2nd Place_

"All good so far," said a satisfied Jigglypuff.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Penalty Time Remaining: 1:08_

"Bill, what's our remaining penalty time?" asked Luigi.

"IT'S OVER 9000!" yelled Bill.

"What? 9000? That can't be right!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

"Over 9000 milliseconds, that is!" said Bill. "You have 68 minutes left, and we got a meme into this leg! Woo!"

_Peach & Samus  
Penalty Time Remaining: 3:36_

"Okay, let's just hope nobody comes in from here until our penalty ends," said Samus.

_3rd Bus  
Toronto Coach Station  
Arrived at 8:10 PM_

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Take a taxi to the CN Tower," read Marth.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 7th Place_

"Hurry! We must beat them!" said Wario.

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Road Block," read Mario.

"I'll do it," said R.O.B.

_CN Tower_

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Detour: Ship or Shoe," read Marth.

Just then, a race attendant came up to them.

"It is now 8:28 PM," Due to dimming light, we have deemed the next challenge not conducive. You will take a one-hour penalty, then take the clue proceeding it.

Ganondorf and Wario were told the same thing.

_Pit stop_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:46_

"Surely, our time penalty is almost up," said Luigi.

"Survival is looking good right now," said mr. Game and Watch confidently.

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

"This is so much harder than it looks!" said R.O.B., annoyed.

_Pit stop_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:16_

_Peach & Samus  
Penalty Time Remaining: 2:44_

"When does our penalty end?" asked Samus.

"11:44 PM," said Bill.

Samus checked her cellphone.

It was now 9:16 PM.

"Great," said Peach sarcastically. "We still have over two and a half hours to go. That just made everything better. This is just stupid."

_CN Tower_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:30_

"If this time penalty gets us eliminated…" said Wario.

"Don't blame me - blame the race attendant," said Ganondorf.

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

R.O.B. was finally done, and he got the clue.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Mario.

However, at the pit stop…

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:00_

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, I can now check you in," said Bill.

They stepped onto the mat.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are team number three," said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
3rd Place_

About two minutes later, R.O.B. and Mario made it to the mat.

"R.O.B. and Mario, you are team number four," said Bill.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
4th Place_

"Luigi, you beat your brother by two minutes," said Bill.

"You're kidding!" gasped Mario.

"No, I'm not," said Bill.

"Ha! OWNED!"

_Peach & Samus  
Penalty Time Remaining: 2:26_

"Four teams already," said Peach.

"There's still two hours left," said Samus.

"We're gonna be eliminated!" wailed Peach.

She put her face on Samus's left shoulder and started sobbing.

Samus facepalmed.

Later…

_CN Tower_

"Your one-hour penalty is up. Here's your clue," said the attendant.

She passed the envelope to Sonic and Marth.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

Marth read the clue. Then, they left.

And, just about thirty seconds later, Ganondorf and Wario's time penalty expired, too.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 7th Place_

"Drive to Queenston, Canada, and then go to the Boat Ramp," read Ganondorf.

_Pit stop_

_Peach & Samus  
Penalty time remaining: 2:00_

Bill: You have exactly two hours of your penalty remaining.

_4th Bus  
Toronto Coach Station  
Arrived at 10:10 PM_

"We're so far behind everyone else," said Falco.

"We'll almost certainly be eliminated," agreed Link.

Later…

_CN Tower_

Once Falco and Link showed up, the attendant came to them.

"Due to dimming light, we have deemed the next challenge not conducive. You will take a one-hour penalty, then take the clue proceeding it," said the attendant.

_Falco & Link  
Penalty Time Remaining: 1:00_

"Is this some kind of joke?" asked Link rhetorically.

"That settled it, right there. We're gonna be eliminated," said Falco.

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

Sonic and Marth got there before Ganondorf and Wario did.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Road Block! Who has 'piece' of mind?" read Sonic.

"I should do this," said Marth.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 7th Place_

"I'll do this road block," said Wario.

_CN Tower_

_Falco & Link  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:00_

"Yes! Finally!" shouted Link.

Link tore open the clue and read it.

"Drive to Queenston, Canada," read Link.

"Let's go!"

_Pit stop_

_Peach & Samus  
Penalty Time Remaining: 1:00_

"You have exactly one hour of your penalty remaining," said Peach.

"One hour? Samus! We might still make it!" said Peach, now getting excited.

"We'll have to wait and see," said Samus calmly.

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

Wario led Marth by a few minutes.

"Come on, Marth! Hurry up!" urged Sonic.

"I'm going as fast as I can!"

On the other side of the room…

"I should be done soon!" said Wario.

"Keep at it, Wario!" said Ganondorf.

As it turned out, Wario finished his puzzle first.

Wario got the clue.

"Oh, that sucks!" said Marth.

"Forget about it!" called out Sonic. "Just go on!"

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 6th Place_

"The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Wario.

"Okay! Let's go!" said Ganondorf.

Soon, they were at the pit stop.

"Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number five," said Bill.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
5th Place_

"Meh, we did okay, I suppose," said Ganondorf.

_Peach & Samus  
Penalty Time Remaining: 0:07_

"Seven minutes left," said Samus.

"I can't believe it! We're gonna survive a seven-hour penalty!" said Peach excitedly.

"Neither can I!" said Samus.

Back at the boat ramp, Marth had just finished his puzzle.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Make your way… …to the pit stop here. The last team to check in may be eliminated."

And, of course…

"Sonic and Marth, you are team number six," said Bill.

_Sonic & Marth  
6th Place_

"Four sixth-place finishes," noted Bill.

"It appears six is our lucky number on this race," said Sonic.

"Didn't you say it was five?" said Marth.

"No, I didn't! It was 19.5!" insisted Sonic.

And, two minutes later…

"Peach and Samus, I can now check you in," said Bill. "You are team number seven. You're still in the race!"

_Peach & Samus  
7th Place_

Peach and Samus were absolutely delighted.

"This is now the third time you have barely survived. Can I call you the 'Houdini Blondies'?"

"Sure, okay!" said Peach happily.

However, Samus was now pointing a laser at Bill.

"Did you mean 'blondie' in a derogatory manner?" fumed Samus.

Bill: N-no, of course not!

_Queenston Boat Ramp_

Falco and Link went over to the cluebox, but to their surprise, a familiar figure approached them, and it was Bill.

"Falco and Link, the last team before you checked in around 45 minutes ago," said Bill.

_Falco & Link  
Last Place_

"I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race."

"Well, we actually saw it coming, being so far back and all…" said Falco.

"Do you actually realize that this is considered the ultimate ignominy in the Amazing Race?" said Bill.

"Why? What is?" asked Link.

"The host going out to check in the last team. You have the honor, or dishonor, of being the first team in this race to have that happen to you," said Bill.

"So… in other words, we sucked ass?"

"Pretty much."

**Finish Times:**

Ness and Olimar: 7:27 PM

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 8:08 PM

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch: 9:16 PM

R.O.B. and Mario: 9:18 PM

Ganondorf and Wario: 11:37 PM

Sonic and Marth: 11:42 PM

Peach and Samus: 11:44 PM

Falco and Link: 12:32 AM (Not checked in) (Eliminated)

**Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:**

One team suffers a literal breakdown!

_"No, we've broken down!"_

_"What? No!"_

_They went to check their car. It really had broken down._

And, Ness finds his stomping ground!

_"Detour: Club or Stadium," read Ness._

_"This is the easiest choice in the world for me," said Ness smugly._

Don't miss it!


	8. We Could Be On the French Riviera

"Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, eight teams left from Montreal to Toronto, Canada!" said Bill. At the bus station, Peach and Samus and Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch ran into trouble with the law and each other.

_"We got here first!" raged Mr. Game and Watch._

_"No, _we_ did!" yelled Samus._

_"Wanna fight over it?" said Luigi fiercely._

_"Don't mind if I do," said Peach angrily._

_"Okay, you guys! Break it up!" said a security guard._

_They were escorted out of the station._

"Because of this, they received penalties."

_"__That brings your total penalty time up to five hours."_

_"That brings your total penalty time up to seven hours."_

"Olimar's brilliant performance at the road block…"

_"Yes! That's the last piece!"_

_[Olimar] put the last piece into the puzzle._

"...landed him and Ness in first place, and their second leg win."

_"Ness and Olimar, you are team number one!" said Bill.  
_

"Some teams, due to arriving late, received a time penalty rather than doing the detour."

_"Due to dimming light, we have deemed the next challenge not conducive. You will take a one-hour penalty, then take the clue proceeding it."_

"Despite a seven-hour penalty, Peach and Samus were able to avoid elimination."

_"Peach and Samus, I can now check you in," said Bill. "You are team number seven. You're still in the race!"_

"Falco and Link started the leg almost seven hours down on the leaders, and that already ended their chances, as not only were they eliminated, but they hadn't even made it to the pit stop when Bill came for them."

_"Falco and Link, the last team before you checked in around 45 minutes ago," said Bill.__ "__I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race."_

"Can Peach and Samus rise from last place to stay in the race for a third time? Can Ness and Olimar really press home their advantage? And can teams such as Sonic and Marth and Peach and Samus overcome the internal conflict that has plagued them during this race? Seven teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?"

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

R.O.B. & Mario

Peach & Samus

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Ness & Olimar

Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch

"Ness and Olimar, who were first to arrive at 7:27 PM, will depart at 7:27 AM," said Bill.

_Ness & Olimar  
1st to depart, 7:27 AM_

"Fly to Panama City, Panama. You have $45 for this leg of the race," read Ness.

"Teams must now fly almost four thousand kilometres to Panama City, Panama," said Bill.

_Ness & Olimar  
Interview before leg_

"After a disastrous first leg, we've got a nice groove going right now," said Olimar.

"I really believe that we can win this race," said Ness.

"Yeah, we're talking to you, Team Pinkfluff," said Olimar.

_Toronto Pearson International Airport_

Ness and Olimar checked the flight board. There were no direct flights to Panama City.

"Are there any direct flights to Panama City?" asked Ness.

"No, but I can get you on a 9:15 AM flight on Air Canada to Miami, then on an Avianca flight from Miami to Cartagena, and finally on a Copa flight from Cartagena to Panama City," said the attendant. "It'll land at 6:04 PM."

"Okay, we'll have two tickets for it."

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
2nd to depart, 8:08 AM_

"Fly to Panama City, Panama," read Kirby.

"Let's go!" said Jigglypuff.

_Toronto Pearson International Airport_

"I can get you on a 10:25 AM flight to Atlanta, where you can interchange to Panama City. It will land at 8:46 PM local time," said the attendant.

They bought tickets for it.

Later, at 9 AM…

"Hang on a second, our plane isn't leaving at 9:15!" siad Ness, shocked.

Olimar checked the flight schedule.

It showed the word "DELAYED" by their flight.

"Our flight got delayed. That sucks so hard," complained Ness.

"Yeah! Up yours, Ness and Olimar!" said Jigglypuff happily.

"You did NOT just go there," fumed Ness.

"Up our what?" asked Olimar.

"You've gotta be kidding me," groaned Ness.

"No seriously, up our what?"

"Forget it. This is hopeless."

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
3rd to depart, 9:16 AM_

"Fly to Panama City, Panama. You have $45 for this leg of the race," read Mr. Game and Watch.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
4th to depart, 9:18 AM_

"Fly to Panama City, Panama," read R.O.B.

_Toronto Pearson International Airport_

"I can get you on a 2:45 PM flight through Miami on American Airlines. It'll land in Panama City at 9:20 PM," said the attendant.

"Okay, we'll take two tickets for it," said Luigi.

And soon…

"We'll have two tickets for the American Airlines flight," said Mario.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
5th to depart, 11:37 AM_

"Fly to Panama City, Panama," read Wario.

_Sonic & Marth  
6th to depart, 11:42 AM_

"You have $45 for this leg of the race," read Marth.

_Peach & Samus  
Last to depart, 11:44 AM_

"Hurry! Get in the car! We're last!" said Samus urgently.

_Toronto Pearson International Airport_

"When's the earliest flight we can get to Panama City?" said Wario.

"2:45 PM, through Miami, to land at 9:20 PM local time."

Sonic and Marth also soon arrived and got their tickets, as did Peach and Samus.

Later…

"Hey Marth, check this out!" said Sonic.

Sonic left for a split second.

The PA had an announcement going when…

"…and be sure to…"

Just then, "Never Gonna Give You Up" started playing over the PA system.

Sonic returned and flashed a thumbs-up sign to Marth.

"You… rickrolled the airport?" said Marth.

"Yep!" said Sonic.

"Please tell me I'm dreaming," said Marth, facepalming.

"No, you're not! I really did it!" said Sonic triumphantly.

"Sonic, old meme is old," said Samus.

"Ha! You said 'old meme is old'. That's an old meme, too!" taunted Sonic.

"Who cares? That's a cool meme!" fired back Samus.

"Memes are only cool when they're new!" insisted Sonic.

"Not necessarily. Any meme can be cool."

"No, only new ones!"

It went on like that for quite some time.

"All teams are now on interchanging flights to Panama City," said Bill. "On the delayed 10:15 AM Air Canada, Avianca, and Copa flight through Miami, Florida, United States and Cartagena, Colombia are Ness and Olimar. On the 10:25 AM Delta flight through Atlanta, Georgia, United States are Jigglypuff and Kirby. On the 2:45 PM American Airlines flight through Miami, Florida, United States are Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, R.O.B. and Mario, Ganondorf and Wario, Sonic and Marth, and Peach and Samus."

_1st Flight_

_Tocumen International Airport  
Landed at 7:17 PM_

Once they got out of the airport, Ness and Olimar got their clue.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Drive to the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute in Gamboa," read Ness.

"Teams will now have to drive approximately 55 kilometres to Gamboa, Panama, and the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute, where they will find their next clue," said Bill.

In the car…

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Ownage. Sheer ownage. Even with a delayed flight, we're still at least an hour of our nearest competition," said Olimar smugly.

"Now, all we have to do is not screw up, and we'll have a great chance," said Ness.

Later…

_Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute (Gamboa, Panama)_

Ness and Olimar made it there first.

"There's the cluebox!" shouted Ness.

Ness and Olimar went over to the cluebox. Olimar read the clue.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Rent one of the rowboats at the marked booth, then row it to Barro Colorado Island," read Ness.

"Teams must now rent one of the rowboats at the marked booth, then row it to Barro Colorado Island, in the man-made Gatun Lake which the Smithsonian Institute overlooks, where their next clue awaits them," said Bill. "Due to the late hour of this challenge, teams have been equipped with flashlights."

Ness and Olimar got their boat and started rowing.

"Hang on a second!" said Ness.

"What?" said Olimar.

"You know what this lake reminds me of?" said Ness.

"What does it remind you of?"

Olimar expected Ness to say something really deep and meaningful.

Instead…

"Chocolate sprinkles."

"Yes, I thoug- wait, what?" said Olimar, stunned.

"Yup! Chocolate sprinkles."

"You've gotta be kidding," said Olimar.

"I'm not kidding," said Ness.

"Well, that was an awkward moment…" said Olimar to himself.

Eventually, they got to Barro Colorado Island, and soon, they got to the island.

Ness soon spotted the cluebox on the shore.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Battle! Are you pressed for time?" read Olimar.

"Battle!" said Bill. "Battle challenges are challenges where both team members fight against a boss. If the team defeats the boss, the attendant will give them their next clue. If the team fails to defeat the boss, the team will be given a one-hour penalty. If either or both of the team members are still unconscious after one hour, the attendant will inject whoever is still unconscious with a chemical to restore their consciousness. Once the penalty is served, the team will receive their next clue. In this Battle, teams will fight Meta Ridley. As with the original fight as shown in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, teams have two minutes to defeat Meta Ridley. Otherwise, they will receive a 90-minute penalty due to the short duration of this battle. This may seem impossible, but for this race's battle, Meta Ridley may not fight back, making this task more feasible."

Meta Ridley appeared on the battlefield.

Ness opened with PK Fire.

Olimar used his side-smash.

_Time: 0:18  
Meta Ridley: 91% HP left_

Ness and Olimar then both used their up-airs.

_Time: 0:24  
Meta Ridley: 85% HP left_

Ness then used his down-smash.

Olimar threw a Pikmin at Meta Ridley.

_Time: 0:36  
Meta Ridley: 73% HP left_

Soon…

_Time: 1:56  
Meta Ridley: 13% HP left_

Both Ness and Olimar attacked as quickly as they could, but…

_Time: 2:00  
Meta Ridley: 6% HP left_

A nearby referee blew his whistle.

"That's time! Two minutes! You have incurred a 90-minute penalty!" shouted the referee.

"This sucks," said Ness.

"Jigglypuff and Kirby could pass us," said Olimar.

Just then, the referee also showed them a yellow card each.

"Huh?" said Olimar.

"You're both booked!" said the referee authoritatively.

"What? You're making no sense," said Ness.

"I just felt like doing that," smirked the referee.

_2nd Flight_

_Tocumen International Airport  
Landed at 8:46 PM_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Drive to the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute in Gamboa," read Jigglypuff.

_3rd Flight_

_Tocumen International Airport  
Landed at 9:20 PM_

Sonic and Marth were first to the cluebox.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Drive to the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute in Gamboa," read Sonic.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 4th Place_

"… Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute in Gamboa," read Samus.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Drive to the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute," read Luigi.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in Last Place_

"Okay, let's go!" said Wario.

In the cars…

The screen showed some of the teams driving to the institute.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 5th Place_

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 4th Place_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 6th Place_

Just then…

"Wait, we've stopped moving!" said Mario with alarm.

"There's smoke from out front!" panicked R.O.B.

"Meh, probably a chain-smoker," said Mario.

"No, we've broken down!" said R.O.B., frustrated.

"What? No!"

They went to check their car. It really had broken down.

"Well, as per the race rules, we can order a spare car..." said R.O.B.

"Under race rules, if a race-provided car breaks down on a team, they may request for a new car to be brought in," said Bill. "However, as this is an unavoidable circumstance, there are no time credits given to a team if this happens."

"Okay, let's order that spare car," decided Mario.

"My God, what a time to break down…" groaned R.O.B.

"The last thing we want is for us to look humiliating," said Mario.

Just then, one of Mario's overall buttons came undone. As if that wasn't enough, his pants fell off, too, leaving his underwear showing.

A passing car came by, and someone in the car took a picture of Mario in his underwear.

"Ha! I avoided looking humiliating," said R.O.B.

Then, a bird crapped on R.O.B.'s head.

"I stand corrected."

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Yay for breakdowns!" cheered Wario.

"The very team we yielded! The karma police gets it wrong!" said Ganondorf exuberantly.

Unnoticed by Ganondorf, he was speeding right there.

_Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Rent one of the rowboats at the marked booth, then row it to Barro Colorado Island," read Kirby.

"This'll be hard, what with our stubby arms," said Jigglypuff.

And, once they got in the boat…

"Kirby, start rowing!" fumed Jigglypuff.

"But I am rowing!" railed Kirby!

"You're hardly doing anything!" raged Jigglypuff.

"You're steering us the wrong way!" screamed Kirby.

"I know what I'm doing!" fired back Jigglypuff. "Anyway, what would YOU know about this, you pink fluffball?"

"But YOU'RE a pink fluffball!" screamed Kirby.

"Well, I never!" said Jigglypuff, furious.

"Rowed a boat before?" asked Kirby rhetorically.

"Yes!... uh, no!" said Jigglypuff.

"Ha! Pwned!" said Kirby.

"Kirby?" said Jigglypuff.

"What?"

"Shut… the hell… up."

In the cars…

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 5th Place_

"There's Peach and Samus's car!" noted Luigi.

"Let's overtake them," said Mr. Game and Watch.

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch duly overtook Peach and Samus, thanks to Luigi, who was at the wheel.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Nice move, man!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 5th Place_

"That's Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch!" said Peach, pointing to their car.

"We've just lost a position," said Samus.

_Barro Colorado Island_

Ness and Olimar's time penalty had ended, and they received their clue.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Detour: Club or Stadium," read Ness.

"A detour is a choice between two tasks!" said Bill. "In this detour: Club or Stadium!"

"In Clubs, teams must drive to Panama City after taking one of the marked ferries back to shore and deliver four instruments to a local club. The catch is, all these instruments are hidden on either the street where the club is on, or on an adjacent street. Once this is completed, they will receive their next clue."  
"In Stadium, teams must drive to Panama City after taking one of the marked ferries back to shore and go to the Estadio Juan Demostenes Arosemena. Once there, they will be set up with a baseball machine. Once each team member can successfully hit six baseballs, they will receive their next clue."

"This is the easiest choice in the world for me," said Ness smugly.

"So we're doing Club, then?" said Olimar.

"Of course not! We're doing Stadium!" said Ness indingnantly. "Oh, is this a power-designated challenge?"

"No."

"That sucks."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to use my own attack, which is actually a baseball bat!" said Ness.

"Let's just go," said Olimar.

_Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute_

Sonic and Marth had just arrived, with Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch close behind them.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Rent one of the rowboats at the marked booth…" read Marth.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 4th Place_

"…then row it to Barro Colorado Island," read Luigi.

Meanwhile…

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"This is ridiculous," groaned Kirby.

"We've been out here for way too long," said Jigglypuff.

"Ness and Olimar are probably long gone," said Kirby.

"You know what? I was wrong. This isn't your fault, nor is it mine," said Jigglypuff.

"Really?"

"Really. And, do you know whose fault this is?"

"Whose?"

Jigglypuff suddenly flew into a rage.

"THE GODDAMN PRODUCERS, THAT'S WHO!"

"The producers?" said Kirby.

"Yes, the producers!" screamed Jigglypuff.

"Why the producers?" said Kirby.

"Without the producers, we wouldn't be stuck like this!" fumed Jigglypuff. "Without the producers, we could've done something else! Without the producers, we could be on the French Riviera instead of the [censor sound] Panama Canal! Without the producers, cancer could've been cured! Without the producers, Chuck Norris could've been out-Chuck Norris'ed! Without the producers…"

"We wouldn't have the chance for a million dollars?" offered Kirby.

"Yes, that too!" said Jigglypuff angrily.

"…and how is that a bad thing?" said Kirby.

"Because it… oh, never mind!"

Peach and Samus and Ganondorf and Wario had now started rowing.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Sonic and Marth seem to be struggling," said Ganondorf.

In the other boat…

_Sonic & Marth_  
_Currently in 5th Place_

"This isn't working!" said Sonic.

"We have to go faster!" urged Marth.

Back in Ganondorf and Wario's boat…

"They're easy meat," said Wario.

"Let's do it!"

Ganondorf and Wario smoothly overtook Sonic and Marth..

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 5th Place_

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Too easy," said Wario.

"Like taking candy from a baby!" bragged Ganondorf.

"Is it Thrice Candy?"

"That's irrelevant."

A little later on…

"Yes! We finally made it to shore!" said Jigglypuff.

"Let's get the clue!" said Kirby.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Battle! Are you pressed for time?" read Kirby.

They got ready to battle.

Meta Ridley stepped up to fight them.

Jigglypuff started off with a down-smash.

Kirby used Vulcan Jab.

_Time: 0:09  
Meta Ridley: 94% HP left_

Jigglypuff used Pound.

Kirby used his side air.

_Time: 0:20  
Meta Ridley: 86% HP left_

Later…

_Time: 1:33  
Meta Ridley: 9% HP left_

"Now's our chance!" said Kirby.

Both Jigglypuff and Kirby used their up-smash.

Meta Ridley was defeated!

They received their clue.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"Detour: Club or Stadium," read Kirby.

"Let's do Club," said Jigglypuff.

_Panama City_

Ness and Olimar had just found the stadium and entered it.

"I should go first," said Ness.

"Okay then! Good luck!" said Olimar.

"Heh, I don't need luck for this," said Ness with a grin. "I'm Ness, remember?"

"Your point?" said Olimar.

"One of my attacks is based on a freakin' baseball bat!"

The first ball came, and Ness swung and missed.

"Well?" said Olimar.

"Just you wait!" exclaimed Ness.

Ness hit the next two, but missed the one after that.

"2 for 4 so far," said Ness.

He then easily hit the next one, and the one after that.

_Ness: 4/6  
Olimar: 0/6_

"Nice!" cheered Olimar.

"So far, so good!" said Ness.

_Barro Colorado Island_

Ganondorf and Wario had overtaken all the others, and gone up to fight Meta Ridley, but lost. Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch were next.

Luigi used Super Jump Punch, but missed.

Mr. Game and Watch used Oil Panic.

_Time: 0:10  
Meta Ridley: 95% HP left_

Luigi followed up with his down-air.

Mr. Game and Watch used Chef.

_Time: 0:21  
Meta Ridley: 85% HP left_

Both of them then used their side-smashes, but Mr. Game and Watch's side-smash missed.

_Time: 0:29  
Meta Ridley: 79% HP left_

_Estadio Juan Demostenes Arosemena_

Ness missed. It was his third miss in a row.

"Ness! It should be easier than this!" called out Olimar.

"I don't know why I'm missing all these!" said Ness.

However, he hit the next shot.

"I didn't bat an eyelid, either!"

"That's so lame!" groaned Olimar.

Ness went on to easily hit the next one, sending Olimar up to bat.

_Ness: 6/6  
Olimar: 0/6_

Olimar hit the first two with no problems.

"See how easy this is?" bragged Olimar.

He then missed the next two.

"Not so easy, huh?" said Ness.

Olimar then hit the next one…

…into the foul zone, knocking Ness in the face.

"Ow! You have about as much aim as Lucas when he's drunk!" said Ness angrily.

"Lucas has been drunk before?"

"You don't wanna hear about it."

_Ness: 6/6  
Olimar: 2/6

* * *

_

_Barro Colorado Island_

Mr. Game and Watch fired Judge. It was Judge 9! They had a chance…

_Time: 2:00  
Meta Ridley: 2% HP remaining_

…or not. The referee's whistle blew.

"Well, at least we'll still be in touching distance of Ganondorf and Wario," said Luigi.

" 'Touching' distance?" said Wario. "You don't mean…"

"Are you…" started Ganondorf.

"No! I don't bend that way and never will!" said Luigi.

"But Luigi, yesterday, in your bag, I saw those pictures of you and Link in…" said Mr. Game and Watch.

"No! No one's interested in that right now!" snapped Luigi.

"But I am!" protested Mr. Game and Watch.

"Just forget about it," said Luigi.

_Peach and Samus  
Currently in 5th Place_

"It's a battle!" said Samus.

"The two teams in front of us lost. Here's our chance!" said Peach excitedly.

_Estadio Juan Demostenes Arosemena_

Olimar had just missed two shots.

"Just angle the bat the right way!" urged Ness.

"Huh?"

"Pretend the ball is a Sandbag!" said Ness.

"Okay!"

He visualized it as a Sandbag.

"Hit the sandbag, hit the sandbag, hit the sandbag, hit the sandbag…" said Olimar to himself.

He hit the next three in a row!

"Yes! Just one more!" said Ness.

The ball came down, and the camera slowed down as Olimar's bat made contact with the ball.

He hit a smooth shot into left field! He had done it!

_Ness: 6/6  
Olimar: 6/6_

"Yes!" cheered Olimar.

"Nice job man!" said Ness.

Ness and Olimar opened the envelope containing the clue.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 1st Place_

"Take a taxi to the Miraflores Locks, the pit stop for this leg of the race," read Olimar. "The last team to check in may be eliminated."

"Teams must now take a taxi to the Miraflores Locks, which are integral parts of the Panama Canal shipping system, and also the eighth pit stop in a race around the world," said Bill. "The last team to check in may be eliminated."

"Let's go!" said Ness.

_Barro Colorado Island_

The referee blew his whistle.

_Time: 2:00  
Meta Ridley: 10% HP remaining_

Peach and Samus walked over to the group of teams who had failed to win their battle.

"You too?" said Ganondorf.

"Yep," said Samus.

"This is just too hard. I mean, two minutes? Come on!" said Luigi.

Sonic and Marth then arrived.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Battle! Are you pressed for time?" read Marth.

"It appears that all the teams directly in front of us are on a penalty," noted Sonic, glancing at the other teams.

"This is our window of opportunity!" said Marth.

Marth and Sonic entered the battle.

Marth opened with his up-air.

Sonic fired a round of punches.

_Time: 0:09  
Meta Ridley: 95% HP remaining_

Marth used his neutral attack, while Sonic used his side-smash.

_Time: 0:20  
Meta Ridley: 86% HP remaining_

Sonic used Spin Dash, but it missed.

Marth used his dash attack.

_Time: 0:31  
Meta Ridley: 82% HP remaining_

Eventually…

_Time: 2:00  
Meta Ridley: 15% HP remaining_

"Yeah, I thought so," said Marth.

"This is beyond ridiculous," said Sonic.

_Panama City_

"Okay, so we have to find a saxophone, trumpet, conga drum, and trombone," said Kirby.

Within six minutes…

"Kirby, over here!"

Jigglypuff motioned for Kirby to come to where she was.

"There's the saxophone!" said Jigglypuff.

"All right! One down!" said Kirby.

_Miraflores Locks_

Bill was already waiting at the mat.

The camera angles changed as they triumphantly made their way out of the taxi and down the path onto the mat.

"Ness and Olimar, you are team number one!" said Bill.

_Ness & Olimar  
1st Place_

"Woo!" cheered Ness.

"And I have some good news for you. As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won a five-day, four-night stay in Hyrule," said Bill.

"That's the hattrick!"

"People wrote us off after our first-leg disaster, but we've gotta be considered now," said Olimar.

"I'm sure you're now among the favorites, as you're the only team to have won three legs on this race so far," said Bill.

"We could really go all the way!" said Ness.

Meanwhile…

"I found the conga drum!" called out Kirby, picking it up.

Before too long…

Jigglypuff hurried down a row of shops.

"There's the trumpet!" said Jigglypuff.

Soon, they had delivered all four instruments to the club, and they were presented with the clue by the club manager.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

"… the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Jigglypuff.

"Let's roll!" said Kirby.

"Okay!" said Jigglypuff.

Jigglypuff and Kirby literally rolled towards a row of taxis, then got in one.

_Barro Colorado Island_

R.O.B. and Mario had made it to Barro Colorado Island.

Just then, Meta Ridley appeared on the battlefield.

R.O.B. started off with a neutral attack.

Mario used F.L.U.D.D.

_Time: 0:12  
Meta Ridley: 93% HP remaining_

_Miraflores Locks_

Jigglypuff and Kirby ran to the mat.

Bill: Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number two.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
2nd Place_

"Holding steady, I guess," said Kirby, satisfied.

"I heard you guys had an argument in the boat?" said Bill.

"Yeah, and I said some things that… well, shouldn't be on TV," said Jigglypuff remorsefully.

"But they _will_ be on TV!" said Bill.

"Well, so much for squeaky-clean," said Jigglypuff.

_Barro Colorado Island_

Ganondorf and Wario were first to be cleared of their time penalty.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"It's a detour," said Ganondorf.

"Let's do Club," said Wario.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Detour: Club or Stadium," read Mr. Game and Watch.

"Club seems easier," decided Luigi. "Let's do Club."

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Stadium?" suggested Samus.

"Yeah," agreed Peach.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

"Detour: Club or Stadium," read Sonic.

"Club," said Marth.

There was only an eight-minute gap between Ganondorf and Wario and Sonic and Marth.

The screen cut to all four teams driving to Panama City.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 4th Place_

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 5th Place_

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

_Panama City_

As it turned out, Peach and Samus made it to their detour stop first.

"There's the stadium!" said Samus.

"Great!" said Peach.

Samus elected to go first.

She stepped up and took her first swing, but missed.

However, she hit her next one.

"See how easy this is?" said Samus.

She then missed the next three in a row.

"You're making it look about as easy as the average attempt to grab an oiled eel," said Peach sarcastically.

Samus then hit the next ball.

_Samus: 2/6  
Peach: 0/6_

Meanwhile…

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
On Club_

"Okay, so have you found any of the four instruments?" said Luigi.

"Is mayonnaise an instrument?" asked Mr. Game and Watch.

He held up a can of mayonnaise.

"No, mayonnaise isn't an instrument."

Eventually…

"There's the saxophone!" said Ganondorf.

He picked it up and passed it to Wario.

"I found the conga drum!" called out Luigi.

Moments later, Sonic had also found a conga drum.

_Estadio Juan Demostenes Arosemena_

Samus had now hit three.

"Come on, Samus! We have to stay in this!" urged Peach.

Samus hit the next one.

"Yes! That's more like it!"

Samus then missed the next two balls pitched.

"[censor sound]! This is so annoying!" fumed Samus.

On her next shot, not only did she miss, but Samus also broke the bat in frustration, using up time as the new bat came in.

"Okay, let's hope this new bat works!" said Samus hopefully.

She only hit one of the next five.

"Just… [censor sound] this challenge!"

_Samus: 5/6  
Peach: 0/6_

_Barro Colorado Island_

R.O.B. and Mario's time penalty had expired.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in Last Place_

"Detour: Club or Staidum," read Mario.

"Let's do Club," said R.O.B.

_Panama City_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
On Club_

"Yes! There's the trumpet!" said Ganondorf triumphantly.

"Nice! That's three down!" said Wario.

At the same time…

Mr. Game and Watch: passed Luigi the trombone, the last one they needed.

"Yes! Let's hurry!" said Luigi.

At the club, after getting all four of the instruments in, they received their next clue.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 3rd Place_

"Take a taxi to the Miraflores Locks, the pit stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in may be eliminated," read Luigi.

"Let's go!" said Mr. Game and Watch.

Sonic and Marth, however, were really struggling with their task, having only found one.

_Sonic & Marth  
On Club_

"Here's a trombone!" said Marth.

"Nice! That's two down!" said Sonic.

_Estadio Juan Demostenes Arosemena_

Samus had finally hit her sixth ball.

Peach stepped up.

"Oh, crap. Here we go again," said Samus to herself.

Peach cleanly hit the first shot, but then missed the next two.

_Samus: 6/6  
Peach: 1/6_

Meanwhile, Ganondorf and Wario had just finished their Detour and were now heading for the pit stop.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 4th Place_

"Okay, let's go!" said Ganondorf.

Sonic and Marth, however, were still struggling.

"This is stupid," said Sonic.

"Our race is going to oblivion," said Marth.

"If we get eliminated, it's all your fault," said Sonic.

"Oh, really? Who was the one who made many errors throughout this race that cost us valuable time and possibly even a leg win?" said Marth angrily.

"I wouldn't be talking if I were you, Mr. I'm-Too-Scared-To-Go-Down-A-Cliff," taunted Sonic.

"At least I'm not a poser!" fired back Marth.

"Whaddya mean by that?"

Sonic's shirt had the word "POSER" in big block letters on it.

_Estadio Juan Demostenes Arosemena_

Peach just kept missing, and mssing, and missing.

The screen showed her missing time and time again.

"I knew it. I just knew it," ranted Samus.

However, just then Peach hit the next one, and then yet another!

"I think I'm getting this now!" said Peach.

_Samus: 6/6  
Peach: 3/6_

"I don't believe it. She's getting the hang of it!" said Samus, gobsmacked.

_Miraflores Locks_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch came up to the pit stop.

"Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are team number three," said Bill.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
3rd Place_

And a few minutes later, Ganondorf and Wario got there.

"Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number four…"

"That doesn't sound very good," said Wario.

"…no, it doesn't. Ganondorf sped earlier in the leg. You have received a 45-minute penalty."

"I guess the karma police got it right after all," said Ganondorf.

Then Wario said, "I guess it's true what they say - karma's a…"

Bill rushed in.

"A stitch! Yes, karma's a stitch!"

"That wasn't what I was gonna say," said Wario.

"Yeah, but we've had more swearing than normal in this episode! This is gonna be on primetime TV!" said Bill.

_Panama City_

_Sonic & Marth  
On Club_

"We've still only found two," said Marth.

Just then, Sonic found the trumpet.

"Yes! Finally!"

"We're just missing the conga drum now," said Sonic.

_Estadio Juan Demostenes Arosemena_

After seven more minutes, Peach had only hit one more.

"This is crap. She just HAS to go and screw it all up," fumed Samus.

Peach then missed the next five in a row.

Samus turned to the camera.

"45 minutes. FORTY-FIVE FREAKING MINUTES," raged Samus.

At last, Peach hit one.

_Samus: 6/6  
Peach: 5/6_

Eventually, almost ten minutes later and many pitches later, Peach finally got a clean hit, and the clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 5th Place_

"Take a taxi to the Miraflores Locks," read Samus.

Meanwhile, Sonic and Marth had just finished their detour, and they were getting their clue, too.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 6th Place_

"…the last team to check in may be eliminated," read Sonic.

Both Peach and Samus and Sonic and Marth got into their taxis.

In the taxi…

"Sir, go faster! It's really important!" said Peach.

_Miraflores Locks_

The camera zoomed in on the mat, then on the taxis.

Peach and Samus made it out first and had a good lead, but Sonic and Marth's higher speed were helping them close in.

Fortunately for Peach, Samus was not in her Power Suit, so…

"Wait! What are you doing?"

Samus dragged Peach, holding her by her heel.

"I'm faster, so this'll help," said Samus.

As it turned out, Peach and Samus beat Sonic and Marth to the pit stop by about 15 to 20 seconds.

"Peach and Samus, you are team number four," said Bill.

_Peach & Samus  
4th Place_

"Sonic and Marth, that would make you team number five," said Bill.

_Sonic & Marth  
5th Place_

"Marth, you and Sonic have now failed to finish inside the top four for eight consecutive legs, and yet are still in the race. I'm speechless."

"Is this an epic fail or an epic win?" asked Marth.

"I don't know," said Bill. "Anyway, Samus, I noticed that you used a rather… unorthodox method to get Peach over the line."

"Yeah, because she's slow!" said Samus.

"Hey, it's not _my_ fault that the developers made me really slow!" protested Peach. "And besides, at least I'm faster that Ganondorf and Jigglypuff!"

About twenty minutes later…

"Ganondorf and Wario, I can now check you in. You are team number six."

_Ganondorf & Wario  
6th Place_

And, before too long, R.O.B. and Mario came to the pit stop,

"I think I know what's gonna happen," said Mario.

"R.O.B. and Mario, you are the last team to arrive," said Bill.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Last Place_

"However, the good news is that this is one of four pre-determined non-elimination legs, so you're still in the race…"

"Yes!" screamed Mario, fist-pumping.

" …but there's a catch. In the next leg, you will have to go through a Speed Bump."

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Interview after leg_

"We've been given a reprieve, and we intend to take it with both hands," said Mario determinedly.

"It's now or never," said R.O.B. soberly.

**Finish Times:**

Ness and Olimar: 11:08 PM

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 11:48 PM

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch: 1:29 AM

Peach and Samus: 1:56 AM

Sonic and Marth: 1:56 AM

Ganondorf and Wario: 2:16 AM

R.O.B. and Mario: 2:32 AM

**Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:**

R.O.B. and Mario go through their Speed Bump!

And, arguably the most shocking climax to a leg of all time!

Don't miss it!

* * *

Some comments would be highly appreciated. Also, did anyone get the Spongebob reference?


	9. The World Has Officially Gone Mad

iBill: Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, seven teams travelled to Panama City, Panama! R.O.B. and Mario suffered a breakdown…

_R.O.B.: No, we've broken down!_

_Mario: What? No!_

…dropping them to last place.

Jigglypuff and Kirby bickered at a boat-rowing challenge.

_Jigglypuff: Well, I never!_

_Kirby: Rowed a boat before?_

_Jigglypuff: Yes!... uh, no!_

However, they were the only team to win the battle against Meta Ridley…

_The screen showed Jigglypuff and Kirby beating Meta Ridley._

…as all six other teams lost!

_The screen showed Ness and Olimar, then Peach and Samus, getting KO'd by Duon._

However, thanks to their large lead entering the leg, Ness and Olimar ended the leg in first place.

_Bill: Ness and Olimar, you are team number one!_

In doing so, they became the first team to win three legs.

_Bill: That's the hattrick!_

R.O.B. and Mario were last…

_Bill: R.O.B. and Mario, you are the last team to arrive._

…but got a second chance.

…_this is one of four pre-determined non-elimination legs…_

Can R.O.B. and Mario get back into contention after falling to last and having a Speed Bump to come? Can Ness and Olimar make it three in a row? And is one team ready for a huge surprise? Seven teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

R.O.B. & Mario

Peach & Samus

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Ness & Olimar

Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch

Bill: Ness and Olimar, who were first to arrive at 11:08 PM, will depart at 11:08 AM.

_Ness & Olimar  
1st to depart, 11:08 AM_

Ness: Fly to Buenos Aires, Argentina. You have $44 for this leg of the race. Warning: Yield Ahead.

Bill: Teams must now fly over five thousand kilometers to Buenos Aires, Argentina. Once there, they must drive to the English Clock Tower. There is a Yield there.

_Tocumen International Airport_

Ness: Can you get us on a flight to Buenos Aires that lands as early as possible?

Attendant: I can get you on a 5:53 PM Avianca flight through Bogota that lands at 6:25 AM in Buenos Aires tomorrow morning, local time.

Olimar: Okay, we'll have two.

Away from the counter…

Ness: 5:53? Crap! They'll all be on this flight.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
2nd to depart, 11:48 AM_

Kirby: Fly to Buenos Aires, Argentina.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Interview before leg_

Jigglypuff: This is now leg 9. I really think we may have a chance of winning this!

Kirby: We're getting ever closer!

_Tocumen International Airport_

Attendant: Yes, we can get you on a 5:53 PM flight through Bogota.

Later…

Jigglypuff: Looks like it'll be a seven-way scramble.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
3rd to depart, 1:29 PM_

Luigi: Warning: Yield Ahead.

_Peach & Samus  
Sonic & Marth  
4th and 5th to depart, 1:56 PM_

Peach: Fly to Buenos Aires, Argentina. You have $44 for this leg of the race.

Sonic: Warning: Yield Ahead.

_Tocumen International Airport_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, Peach and Samus, and Sonic and Marth all got tickets for the 5:53 PM flight.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
6th to depart, 2:16 PM_

Ganondorf: Fly to Buenos Aires, Argentina. You have $44 for this leg of the race.

In the car…

Wario: Okay, so we're second last.

Ganondorf: The plan here is to just go all out and let everything fall into place.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Last to depart, 2:52 PM_

Mario: You have $44 for this leg of the race. Warning: Yield Ahead.

R.O.B.: We have a Speed Bump to come. We can't afford to get yielded.

_Tocumen International Airport_

All the teams now had tickets for the same flight, and some were now making alliances.

Wario: …so, we were thinking, how about an alliance, gals?

Peach: Sure! We need it as much as you do.

Ganondorf: This race just exploded.

Upon Ganondorf's remark, airport security sounded the alarm.

Airport security guard: Exploded? Where's the bomb!

Ganondorf: There_ is_ no bomb!

Airport security guard: But you said…

Ganondorf: Here! Take my backpack! Scan it if you must!

Soon, Ganondorf was cleared after a lengthy scanning.

Ganondorf: Freaking airport security…

Eventually, the teams boarded the plane.

Bill: All seven teams are on the same flight to Buenos Aires, Argentina, by way of an interchange in Bogota, Colombia.

_Jorge Newberry Airport  
Landed at 6:25 AM_

As was often the case, Sonic and Marth made it out first.

Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 1st Place

Marth: First out again! Yes!

They hurried to the marked cars.

The screen then showed some other teams driving to the clock tower.

_Peach & Samus_

_Currently in 4th Place_

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 5th Place_

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Soon, Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch had a chance to overtake Peach and Samus.

Luigi: G&W! Pass Peach and Samus!

Mr. Game and Watch: Okay!

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch's car smoothly and seamlessly passed Peach and Samus's car.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 4th Place_

Mr. Game and Watch: Yeah!

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 5th Place_

Samus: Unbelievable.

Peach: Would you believe it? Yet more luck goes their way.

Samus: This is getting ridiculous. Someone needs to take the down a peg or two.

Peach: So they're clotheslines?

Samus: No! It has nothing to do with pegs!

_English Clock Tower_

Sonic and Marth were first to the cluebox, but…

Marth: Hey, it's the Yield!

Bill: Yield! When teams exercise their yield power, they force another team to flip over this hourglass and stop that team from racing until the hourglass has run out.  
For a yield to be exercised properly they can only yield teams that are behind them. This is one of four yields on the race, and teams may only use their powers once, so they must decide when it is most applicable.

Sonic: Should we use it?

Marth: I don't think we should. Let's get the clue.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 1st Place_

Marth: Fly to Mendoza, Argentina.

Bill: Teams will now have to return to the airport and fly almost one thousand kilometers to Mendoza, Argentina. Their next clue awaits them outside the airport.

Sonic: Let's go!

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Ness: Do we use the Yield?

Olimar: I don't think we should.

Instead, they got the clue.

Ness: Fly to Mendoza, Argentina.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Mario: We've already used the Yield! There's no time to lose! Let's go!

R.O.B.: Uh, no.

He pointed to a board with the words "Speed Bump" on it.

Mario: Oh, right! We have a Speed Bump!

R.O.B. took the clue attached to the board and read it.

R.O.B.: Speed Bump.

Bill: Speed Bump! A speed bump is a task that only R.O.B. and Mario must complete to receive their next clue, having come last in the last leg! In this speed bump, they must walk up the eight floors to the top of the clock tower, 75 metres up. Once they have reached the top, they will find their next clue there.

Mario: Looks like we'll be going all the way up.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 4th Place_

Mr. Game and Watch: Let's use the Yield.

Luigi: Ness and Olimar?

Mr. Game and Watch: Sure.

They placed Ness and Olimar's photo on the main board, and then added their own on the "Courtesy of…" section.

But, what they didn't know was that Ness and Olimar were already gone, therefore, their Yield was ineffective.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 5th Place_

Samus: Damn it! The yield's already been used! We could have yielded Team Lucky Gits!

They got the clue and read it.

Peach: Hurry! We have to beat Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch!

_Jorge Newberry Airport_

Sonic and Marth had just gotten their ticket for their flight.

Marth: 11:35 AM. That means we'll all be bunched together again.

_English Clock Tower_

Mario: Hey! Hurry it up, R.O.B.!

R.O.B.: How easy do you think this is? Remember, I don't even have legs!

_Jorge Newberry Airport_

Ness: 11:35?

Attendant: Yes. It will land in Mendoza at 5:25 PM after going through Santiago.

The screen shifted to a clock on one of the airport walls.

It was now just past 7:00 AM.

Soon, all seven teams had claimed their tickets for the flight.

Marth: Just great. We got into the lead, but for nothing.

Luigi: Everything we've done so far has just been flushed down the toilet. What a joke.

Then, Luigi realized something.

Luigi: Ness! We yielded you and Olimar! No. Please, no!

Ness: Yep! We were ahead.

Luigi: D'oh!

_English Clock Tower_

R.O.B. and Mario had just made it to the top of the tower, and they got their clue.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in Last Place_

Mario: Fly to Mendoza, Argentina.

_Jorge Newberry Airport_

Before too long, the plane had arrived, and the teams boarded.

Bill: All seven teams are now flying to Mendoza, Argentina, by way of an interchange in Santiago, Chile.

_Gabrielli Airport_

Ganondorf and Wario were the first out.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Take a taxi to Puente Viejo.

Bill: Teams must now go to Puente Viejo. At the old bridge, there, they will find their next clue.

_Ness & Olimar  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Ness: Take a taxi to Puente Viejo.

Olimar: Hang on, there's a Fast Forward here!

Bill: Fast Forward! In a Fast Forward, one team can skip all tasks and go to their next pit stop in exchange for the completion of a particular task! This is only one of three Fast Forwards, so teams must decide when it is most applicable to use it!

To claim this Fast Forward, teams must drive to the town of Lunlunta, at the Cabaña La Guatana Gaucho ranch, where they must complete a traditional gaucho challenge. That team member must ride a horse through barrels, then hook a ring at the end of the course using a long stick in under 40 seconds. The Fast Forward will be given to the first team to complete this challenge in under 40 seconds.

Ness: I'm feeling good about this Fast Forward.

Olimar: Shall we do it?

Ness: *slaps Olimar* I don't lean that way, you know!

Olimar: I mean the Fast Forward.

Ness: Oh, okay. Sure.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Mario: Okay! Let's get a taxi!

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 5th Place_

Samus: Fast Forward, huh?

Peach: Do you think…

Samus: Yeah. Let's go for the Fast Forward.

In the taxis…

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in Last Place_

This was the first time Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch had been in last place throughout the course of this race.

Luigi: Well, THIS is a new experience.

Mr. Game and Watch: Last place.

Luigi: Let's hope it never happens to us again.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Ganondorf: Awesome. We have the lead.

Wario: After the disaster last time out, we need a good leg here.

_Puente Viejo_

Ganondorf and Wario were first there.

Ganondorf and Wario hurried over to the cluebox. Wario read the clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Detour: Pedal or Paddle. This is a Smash Ball challenge.

Bill: A detour is a choice between two tasks! In this detour: Pedal or Paddle!  
In Pedal, teams must pedal a bike 11 kilometres down a railroad track. Once they reach the end, teams will find their next clue.

In Paddle, teams have to white water raft 11 kilometres down a marked course on the river. Once at the end, teams will find their next clue.

This is a Smash Ball challenge, so the first team to complete the detour on either side will receive a Smash Ball for each member of that team. A team may only obtain the Smash Ball once in the race. Each team member of the team who has the Smash Ball may break it open and use his or her Final Smash at any time between the receiving of the Smash Balls and the pit stop.

Wario: Let's do Paddle.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Mario: We should do Paddle.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Marth: Detour: Pedal or Paddle.

Sonic: How's Pedal sound?

Marth: Sure, why not?

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 4th Place_

Kirby: A detour.

Jigglypuff: Paddle?

Kirby: Even after what happened back in Panama?

Jigglypuff: I think we can get it right this time.

Kirby: Okay then! Paddle it is!

_Lunlunta_

Ness and Olimar were ready for the Fast Forward.

Ness: I'll do this.

Ness boarded the horse, then got ready.

At the second barrel, he got thrown off by the horse.

Ness: No worries. There's no way either of Team Blondie can pull this off.

Peach then got on.

Samus: You know how this works, right?

Peach: Yes! Back home, I do this on Toadsworth all the time!

Samus: What?

Peach: Never mind.

Peach got the horse safely through the barrels. It was now down to the ring.

Peach hooked it easily. Now, all that was left was the time.

The challenge organizer looked at Peach.

Suspenseful music played.

Challenge Organizer: 37.99 seconds! *holds up stopwatch*

Peach: Yes!

Samus: Woo! That's my girl!

Ness and Olimar were absolutely stunned.

Ness: I don't believe this.

Olimar: The world has officially gone mad.

Ness: And, it's now twice that we've lost the Fast Forward.

Olimar: To top it off, there's also just one left.

Peach and Samus got their clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

Peach: Go to Estancia San Isidro.

Bill: Peach and Samus, having completed the Fast Forward, may now skip all tasks and head to the pit stop at Estancia San Isidro.

Peach: Let's go!

_Puente Viejo_

_Sonic and Marth  
On Pedal_

Thanks to Sonic's high speed, things were going well.

Sonic: This is in the bag!

Just then, a tyre went flat.

Marth: You were saying?

Sonic and Marth now had to go all the way back to the start, a good three and a half kilometers away.

Sonic: That sucks.

Meanwhile…

_Ganondorf & Wario  
On Paddle_

Already, they were near the finish line.

Ganondorf: There's the end! I see it!

With that, they got to the end, and got the clue and the Smash Balls.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Wario: Drive to the Camping Suizo.

Bill: Teams will now have to drive to the Camping Suizo to find their next clue.

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, however, were really struggling.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
On Paddle_

Mr. Game and Watch: We've fallen way behind the others.

Luigi: We could be eliminated.

Mr. Game and Watch: This is pretty retarded.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On Paddle_

Kirby: Meme time again! I'm on a boat!

Jigglypuff: Oh yeah, that's a cool meme! And, it fits!

Kirby: Yeah! We're one -three-three-seven!

Jigglypuff: And, we're pwnsome!

Kirby: Wow, we're such geeks!

Jigglypuff: But we're each other's geeks!

Soon, they reached the end.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Kirby: Drive to the Camping Suizo.

Jigglypuff: Let's go!

_Camping Suizo_

Ganondorf and Wario made it there first.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Ganondorf: Road Block! Who's not a vegetarian?

Bill: Road Block! A Road Block is a task that only one person can complete!  
In this Road Block, that team member must eat a 1.5-kilogram portion of a traditional Argentinian feast containing cow rib, pork sausage, blood sausage, cow intestine, cow udder, cow kidney and part of a cow's saliva gland. When they finished eating, teams would receive their next clue.

Ganondorf: You do it.

Wario: Yeah, I've got this covered.

_Puente Viejo_

_Sonic & Marth  
On Pedal_

Sonic and Marth had just completed the course.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 4th Place_

Marth: Drive to Camping Suizo.

Shortly after, R.O.B. and Mario were done, too, and received the Smash Balls, as Sonic and Marth already had theirs.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

Mario: We have to catch them!

R.O.B.: This may be our only hope!

Mario: Argh! There was supposed to be a humorous line here, but the scriptwriter has come up with nothing!

They ran off.

Just then, Mario slipped on a banana peel.

R.O.B.: Can't go wrong with a classic gag!

_Camping Suizo_

Jigglypuff and Kirby had just arrived.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Jigglypuff: Road Block! Who's not a vegetarian?

Kirby: A food challenge! Finally! I'll do this.

Jigglypuff: Remember, no powers.

Kirby: I'm KIRBY, for crying out loud! I don't need powers for this!

Meanwhile…

Ganondorf: Faster, Wario! Kirby's doing this!

Wario: And?

Ganondorf: It's Kirby!

Wario: Kirby? Oh, crap!

Wario devoured the blood sausage.

_Estancia San Isidro_

Peach and Samus raced to the mat, Peach's arms raised to the sky.

They triumphantly stepped onto the mat.

Bill: Peach and Samus, you are team number one!

_Peach & Samus  
1st Place_

You could have knocked over Peach and Samus with a feather at that moment.

Peach: Tell me you're joking.

Bill: No, I'm not!

Peach let out a squeal of delight, then hugged Samus, then Bill.

Bill: And I have some good news for you. As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won a JVC home entertainment system each.

Peach: I can't believe this. Really, there are no words!

Samus: Easily the high point of the race so far for us.

Peach: There have been tough times on this race, but we're now a real force to be reckoned with!

Samus: Maybe, just maybe, we could win this whole thing.

_Puente Viejo_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch were still struggling.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
On Paddle_

Luigi: You're steering us the wrong way!

Mr. Game and Watch: No, you are!

Luigi: And where's the proof of that?

The screen showed that Luigi was paddling to the right. However, the path was to their left.

Mr. Game and Watch: See?

_Ness & Olimar  
On Paddle_

Olimar: This is taking longer than it should.

Ness: First to last. How retarded.

Olimar: And guess what? We missed the Fast Forward again.

Ness: We must be cursed or something.

Olimar: I can fix that! *pulls out horseshoe*

Olimar promptly dropped the horseshoe in the river.

Ness: There you go. We're cursed!

Camping Suizo

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 4th Place_

Sonic: Road Block! Who's not a vegetarian?

Marth: I think I should do this one.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 5th Place_

Mario: I'll do this.

Soon, Kirby was almost done, and Wario was slightly behind.

Ganondorf: I know what to do! I'll use my Final Smash on Kirby!

Bill: According to Race rules, as long as the team member not doing the Road Block does not directly help complete the Road Block in question, the action performed by the non-active team member is still legal.

Ganondorf used his Final Smash on Kirby.

Mario fired back by using his Final Smash on Ganondorf.

Five minutes later…

Wario: Done!

Ganondorf and Wario got their next clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Wario: Drive to Estancia San Isidro, the pit stop. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Bill: Teams must now drive to Estancia San Isidro, the ninth pit stop in a race around the world. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Wario: Let's go!

A few minutes later, Kirby was also done.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Kirby: The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Meanwhile…

Sonic: Come on, Marth! Mario's ahead of you now!

Marth: Okay, but can I throw up first?

Sonic: Sure.

Marth threw up on Sonic's shoe.

Sonic: …never mind.

Soon after, R.O.B. fired his Final Smash at Marth, costing Marth some time.

_Puente Viejo_

_Ness & Olimar  
On Paddle_

Olimar: We've been here for frickin' forever.

Ness: We're probably gonna be eliminated.

Olimar: It'll take something crazy for that not to happen.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
On Paddle_

Luigi: Yeah! We're nearly at the end!

_Camping Suizo_

Mario had just finished, and got the next clue.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 4th Place_

Mario: Drive to… …the pit stop. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Mario threw up as they headed for the car.

Mario: That Road Block is, by far, the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten or done.

R.O.B.: But aren't you a plumber?

Mario: Plumbing doesn't have crap on this.

R.O.B.: Nice pun.

Mario: That was completely pun-intentional. Okay, I meant that one!

R.O.B.: How lame…

Marth was also nearly done, and about a minute later, he was finished.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 5th Place_

Sonic: Drive to Estancia San Isidro, the pit stop. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

In the car…

Sonic: We are so close now. I can feel it!

Marth: According to the website which has our race stats, we've come fifth three times, sixth four times, and seventh once.

Sonic: Way to be Debbie Downer.

Marth: Debbie…? She was my first love!

Marth burst into tears.

_Estancia San Isidro_

Ganondorf and Wario were checked in.

Bill: Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number two.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
2nd Place_

_Puente Viejo_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch had now finally finished their detour.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 6th Place_

Luigi: Drive to Camping Suizo.

_Estancia San Isidro_

Bill: Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number three.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
3rd Place_

Bill: This is now your sixth leg in a row inside the top three, making you probably the most consistent team on this race save for Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch. What's your secret, guys?

Jigglypuff: Willpower and trust in the team.

Kirby: Hope, trust, and pixie dust!

Jigglypuff: Please tell me you're joking.

Kirby: I'm not, honest to God!

Jigglypuff: You've been watching too much Peter Pan again.

A few minutes later, R.O.B. and Mario checked on.

Bill: R.O.B. and Mario, you are team number four.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
4th Place_

Mario: It's been a tough race, but I think we're really getting the hang of this.

R.O.B.: I don't think we can be considered as underdogs anymore.

And, two minutes, later, Sonic and Marth made it to the mat.

Bill: Sonic and Marth, you are team number five.

_Sonic & Marth  
5th Place_

Bill: Do you know what this means?

Sonic: What?

Bill: Your record now stands at the following: Four fifth-places, four sixth-places, and one seventh-place. You two have a magnificent record of consistent mediocrity. I don't know whether to congratulate you or take a jibe at you for this.

Marth: Hey, at least we're still in the race!

Bill: The way your positions have gone, you guys aren't gonna win.

Marth: Hey! I thought game show and reality hosts were supposed to be supportive!

Bill: Unfortunately for you guys, I'm not one of those hosts! Go watch The Price is Right or something like that if supportive is your thing!

_Camping Suizo_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch went over to the cluebox.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 6th Place_

Luigi: It's a Road Block.

Mr. Game and Watch: I'll do this one.

After twenty-something minutes, Mr. Game and Watch was done, and got the clue.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
Currently in 6th Place_

Luigi: Drive to Estancia San Isidro, the pit stop.

On the way there…

Mr. Game and Watch: Do you think we've been eliminated?

Luigi: Well, there's only one way to find out.

_Estancia San Isidro_

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch rushed to the mat where Bill was.

Bill: Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are team number six.

_Luigi & Mr. Game and Watch  
6th Place_

Bill: Do not enter the villa yet. Please wait.

Luigi: Hey G&W, why do we have to wait?

Mr. Game and Watch: I don't know, but it can't be good.

Luigi: Well, we'll just have to wait and see.

About half an hour later, Ness and Olimar entered the pit stop, having completed the Road Block.

Bill: Ness and Olimar, you are the last team to arrive.

_Ness & Olimar  
Last Place_

Bill: I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from te race. Any final thoughts on the race?

Ness: Having won three legs, we felt that we had a genuine chance of winning this race.

Olimar: We actually attempted and lost the Fast Forward twice.

Ness: Still, this race was a good experience.

Olimar: Yeah, the human world is cool. Much cooler than Distant Planet!

Bill: I'll be honest; I didn't expect you guys to be eliminated in this leg.

Olimar: Actually, I have to agree with you, Bill.

Bill then turned to Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch.

Bill: Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, the clue, as you know, stated "The last team to check in may be eliminated". However, it says nothing about the second-last team. The reason why I did not ask you to step inside the pit stop was because this is a double-elimination leg.

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch's jaws dropped wide open.

Bill: Therefore, you have also been eliminated from the race.

Luigi: I can't believe it.

Mr. Game and Watch: We thought we were safe.

Luigi: Still, I guess it just goes to show you that you just can't predict anything on this crazy race.

Bill: Also, this means that you got beaten by Mario again.

Luigi: DAMN YOU, MARIO!

**Finish Times:**

Peach and Samus: 6:27 PM

Ganondorf and Wario: 6:55 PM

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 6:58 PM

R.O.B. and Mario: 7:02 PM

Sonic and Marth: 7:04 PM

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch: 7:45 PM (Eliminated)

Ness and Olimar: 8:13 PM (Eliminated)

**Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:**

The final five teams travel to Asia for the first time on this race!

A temple disaster!

And, one team gets into trouble with the law!

Don't miss it!


	10. You're the Beady One

Bill: Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, seven teams travelled to Buenos Aires, Argentina! Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch failed with their Yield.

_Mr. Game and Watch: Let's use the Yield._

_Luigi: Ness and Olimar?_

_Mr. Game and Watch: Sure._

_They placed Ness and Olimar's photo on the main board, and then added their own on the "Courtesy of…" section._

_But, what they didn't know was that Ness and Olimar were already gone, therefore, their Yield was ineffective._

After the teams flew to Mendoza, Ness and Olimar and Peach and Samus both attempted the Fast Forward.

_Ness: I'm feeling good about this Fast Forward__._

_Samus: Yeah. Let's go for the Fast Forward._

As it turned out, Peach earned the Fast Forward for her team…

_The challenge organizer looked at Peach._

_Suspenseful music played._

_Challenge Organizer: 37.99 seconds! *holds up stopwatch*_

…and it landed them in first place!

_Bill: Peach and Samus, you are team number one!_

Ness and Olimar finished well behind everyone else despite starting the leg in first place, and were duly eliminated.

_Bill: I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race. _

Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch narrowly avoided last place…

_Bill: Luigi and Mr. Game and Watch, you are team number six._

…but were eliminated in a surprise twist: a double-elimination leg.

_Bill: … this is a double-elimination leg. Therefore, you have also been eliminated from the race._

Can Sonic and Marth get out of last place and snap their record-breaking streak of mediocrity? Can Jigglypuff and Kirby pick up a third leg victory? And can Peach and Samus stay out in front? Five teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

R.O.B. & Mario

Peach & Samus

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Bill: Peach and Samus, who were first to arrive at 6:27 PM, will depart at 6:27 AM.

_Peach & Samus  
1st to depart, 6:27 AM_

Samus: Fly to Bangkok, Thailand, and then drive to Khaosan Road. You have $0 for this leg of the race.

Bill: Teams must now fly over an astonishing seventeen thousand kilometres to Bangkok, Thailand. Once they get there, they must drive to Khaosan Road, where they will find their next clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Interview before leg_

Samus: Our victory in the last leg was such a confidence-booster.

Peach: It's getting down to the business end now!

Samus: One bad move could ruin everything.

_Gabrielli International Airport_

Peach: How can we get to Bangkok from here?

Attendant: I can get you on TAM to Buenos Aires, and then on to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, then onto an Emirates flight to Dubai, U.A.E., then to Bangkok on Emirates. It leaves at 10:05 AM, and lands in Bangkok at 12:55 AM two days from now.

Samus: Okay! We'll take it!

_Ganondorf & Wario  
2nd to depart, 6:55 AM_

Ganondorf: Fly to Bangkok, Thailand, and then drive to Khaosan Road.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
3rd to depart, 6:58 AM_

Kirby: You have $0 for this leg of the race.

In the cars…

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Wario: Not long to go now.

Ganondorf: That's what she said!

Wario: Whoa!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

A laughtrack played.

Kirby: Where's that laughtrack coming from?

Jigglypuff: I don't know.

The laughtrack played again.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
4th to depart, 7:02 AM_

Mario: Fly to Bangkok, Thailand.

R.O.B.: Okay, let's go!

_Sonic & Marth  
Last to depart, 7:04 AM_

Marth_: _You have $0 for this leg of the race.

Sonic: We're only last by two minutes.

Marth: Plus, this'll be a long flight. We may have a shot yet. Besides, we're still less than an hour behind the leaders.

_Gabrielli International Airport_

Ganondorf and Wario were getting their tickets.

Attendant: You can go by a flight on TAM to Buenos Aires which continues on to to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, then onto an Emirates flight to Dubai, U.A.E., and finally to Bangkok on Emirates. It leaves at 10:05 AM, and lands in Bangkok at 12:55 AM in two days' time.

Wario: Okay, we'll take it.

All the other teams then got their tickets, too. Also, due to the fact that all the teams would be boarding the same flight, an alliance was made between two of the teams.

Jigglypuff: So, Mario, we were thinking - perhaps we could become allies for this leg?

R.O.B.: Don't take it, Mario! It may be a trick!

Kirby: But we can keep you in the race!

Mario: Well…

Jigglypuff: It'll help both of us.

Mario: Okay!

R.O.B.: Mario, are you crazy? They'll probably betray you!

Mario: Nah! I have confidence that they won't!

Soon, the flight took off.

Bill: All five teams are on the same flight to Bangkok, Thailand, by way of interchanges in Buenos Aires, Argentina, Sao Paulo, Brazil, and Dubai, United Arab Emirates.

Two days later, the plane landed.

Ganondorf and Wario were out first.

Ganondorf: Okay! Let's get in the car!

The screen showed all the teams driving to Khaosan Road.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 4th Place_

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in Last Place_

The camera then focused on Sonic and Marth.

Marth: Last place. Well, it can only get better from here.

Just then, a police car came up to them.

Policeman: You're under arrest for drug smuggling!

Sonic: Drug smuggling? But we didn't…

Policeman: You're coming with me!

Marth: But we didn't…

They were handcuffed.

In the police car…

Sonic: But how could they think that we…

Marth: The stickers! Of course! We look like regular humans to most people, so our human forms must look like two people who smuggled drugs!

Sonic: Oh, my God! How suckish can things get?

_Khaosan Road_

Ganondorf and Wario were first to the cluebox.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Battle! Get ready to go crazy!

Bill: Battle! Battle challenges are challenges where both team members fight against a boss. If the team defeats the boss, the attendant will give them their next clue. If the team fails to defeat the boss, the team will be given a one-hour penalty. If either or both of the team members are still unconscious after one hour, the attendant will inject whoever is still unconscious with a chemical to restore their consciousness. Once the penalty is served, the team will receive their next clue. In this Battle, teams will fight Crazy Hand.

Crazy Hand stepped forward.

Ganondorf opened with Dark Dive.

Wario used his dash attack.

Crazy Hand used Rocket Drill.

_Ganondorf: 13% damage  
Wario: 0% damage  
Crazy Hand: 93% HP remaining_

R.O.B. and Mario then turned up.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Mario: Battle! Get ready to go crazy!

Attendant: I'm sorry, but you must wait until this fight is over.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Peach: It's a battle.

However, they too were turned back by the attendant.

Meanwhile, Ganondorf and Wario were still fighting.

Ganondorf used his side-smash.

Wario used Wario Bike.

Crazy Hand grabbed Wario, doing damage to him.

_Ganondorf: 35% damage  
Wario: 22% damage  
Crazy Hand: 77% HP remaining_

Ganondorf attacked with his down-smash, while Wario used his side-aerial.

Crazy Hand used Sweep, electrocuting both Ganondorf and Wario.

_Ganondorf: 46% damage  
Wario: 31% damage  
Crazy Hand: 69% HP remaining_

Soon…

_Ganondorf: 105% damage_  
_Wario: KO'd_  
_Crazy Hand: 13% HP remaining_

Ganondorf: There's only one option. I have no choice.

Ganondorf got ready for Warlock Punch.

Ganondorf: WARLOCK PUUUUNCH!

_Ganondorf: 105% damage  
Wario: KO'd  
Crazy Hand: KO'd_

Attendant: Well done! Here's your next clue.

After Wario was revived, Ganondorf and Wario opened the envelope.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Drive to the Temple of Dawn. Warning: Yield Ahead.

Bill: Teams must now drive to the Temple of Dawn. There is a Yield there.

R.O.B. and Mario were next up, and duly defeated Crazy Hand.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Mario: Warning: Yield Ahead.

R.O.B.: At least we've already been yielded.

Mario: You do realize that doesn't protect us from getting yielded?

Peach and Samus entered the battle.

Meanwhile, in the police station…

Marth: But we didn't do anything illegal!

Police officer: I have solid evidence.

Sonic: Okay then, search our car.

Police officer: I'll search your backpacks first!

Sonic: (to Marth) Crap! Surely, he has to discover the you-know-what!

Marth: I know! We're screwed if he does!

The police officer pulled out a magazine.

Sonic: No! Not that!

It was a Playboy magazine.

The police officer was distracted by the Playboy magazine.

Marth: Great. Now he's stalling.

Sonic: Our luck couldn't be any crappier.

_Khaosan Road_

_Peach: KO'd  
Samus: 148% damage  
Crazy Hand: 2% HP remaining_

It all came down to the missile shot by Samus.

Samus shot the missile.

The camera zoomed in on the missile as it flew.

It missed Crazy Hand by about fifteen centimeters.

Samus: [CENSOR SOUND]! No way!

Crazy Hand KO'd Samus after that, giving Peach and Samus a one-hour penalty.

Jigglypuff and Kirby were next up.

Jigglypuff opened the battle with Rollout.

Kirby used Vulcan Jab.

Crazy Hand fired back Laser.

_Jigglypuff: 4% damage  
Kirby: 5% damage  
Crazy Hand: 95% HP remaining

* * *

_

_Temple of Dawn_

Wario: Well, we can't Yield, as we've already used it.

Ganondorf: Never mind that, there's the cluebox.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Choose the correct plate containing 108 beads.

Bill: Teams will now have to choose a plate with beads on it, then drop one bead each into a set of 108 jugs set before them. If there are not exactly 108 beads, they have to repeat this. There are 35 plates and only seven correct ones, so the odds are slim that they'll get it right.

Wario: Okay, let's try the one right at the end.

_Khaosan Road_

Jigglypuff and Kirby had successfully KO'd Crazy Hand.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Kirby: Temple of Dawn. Okay!

Jigglypuff: We'd better hurry!

_Temple of Dawn_

R.O.B. and Mario had just made it here. Having, already used their Yield, they couldn't use this one.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Mario: Choose the correct plate containing 108 beads.

Meanwhile, inside, Ganondorf and Wario were putting the beads into the jugs.

They were now almost done.

Wario: Just a few more left!

Incredibly, they had gotten it right on their first go!

Ganondorf: Yes! We got it!

They received their clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Drive to the Prang Sam Yot at Lopburi.

Bill: Teams must now drive approximately 120 kilometres to Prang Sam Yot in Lopburi, where they will find their next clue.

_Police station_

Police officer: Wow, that was a good magazine! Now, I'll search your backpacks!

Sonic: Finally!

Police officer: What?

Marth: Never mind. Carry on, sir.

_Temple of Dawn_

R.O.B. and Mario were now attempting theirs.

R.O.B.: There are certainly a lot of beads here.

Mario: You're the beady one.

R.O.B.: That doesn't even make any sense!

Mario: Never mind. Forget it.

Jigglypuff and Kirby got to the temple just then.

Jigglypuff: Shall we yield?

Kirby: Yeah!

Jigglypuff: Okay, who do we yield?

Kirby: Peach and Samus?

Jigglypuff: Okay, let's yield them!

Jigglypuff and Kirby stuck Peach and Samus's photo in the "Yielded" section and their own in the "Courtesy of…" section.

Jigglypuff: Ha! Total ownage!

Kirby: They'll never believe it!

Jigglypuff: And, we're on fire!

Kirby: I hope not literally.

Jigglypuff: Never mind about that! I packed water spritzers!

Kirby: Anyway, now for the clue.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Kirby: Choose the correct plate containing 108 beads.

Jigglypuff: Sounds tough.

Kirby: Forget about that! Let's do it!

Incredibly, on their first attempt…

Kirby: …and that's it! We got it exact, on the first try, too!

Jigglypuff: Awesome!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Kirby: Drive to Prang Sam Yot at Lopburi.

Jigglypuff: Okay! Let's go!

_Police station_

The police officer had just finished searching their car.

Police officer: I see no drug traces. You're free to go.

Marth: Yes!

Police officer: But first…

He changed the radio station in the police car.

Radio: I want your ugly  
I want your disease  
I want your everything  
As long as it's free…

Marth: AGGGH! IT'S LADY GAGA! Let's get back into our car! We've been acquitted, anyway!

About twenty minutes later…

_Khaosan Road_

Sonic and Marth got there and entered the battle against Crazy Hand.

Peach and Samus's time penalty ran out, and they received their next clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 4th Place_

Peach: Drive to the Temple of Dawn.

_Temple of Dawn_

R.O.B. and Mario were really struggling.

Mario: We've been here for at least an hour.

R.O.B.: Now, we're on our fourth attempt.

Mario: This is just ridiculous.

R.O.B.: It doesn't help that you have to drop them in one by one.

_Khaosan Road_

Sonic and Marth had just beaten Crazy Hand.

Attendant: Well done! Here's your next clue.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in Last Place_

Marth: …Temple of Dawn. Okay, let's move!

_Temple of Dawn_

Upon arrival, Peach and Samus realized that they'd been yielded.

Samus: We got yielded.

Peach: Is this the last yield of the race?

Samus: Yes.

Peach: Crap! Why is it that, whenever we come this close and are in good form, something suckish happens?

A few minutes later, Sonic and Marth came by.

Sonic: Hey, Peach and Samus got yielded!

Marth: So long, suckers! *flashes loser-sign*

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in Last Place_

Marth: Choose the correct plate containing 108 beads.

Meanwhile, inside…

R.O.B. and Mario had failed yet again.

R.O.B.: What's the time now?

Mario: *checks watch* About 3 AM.

R.O.B.: And at what time did we start this task?

Mario: At about 1:35 AM.

R.O.B.: So, we've basically been here for about an hour and a half?

Mario: Yep!

R.O.B.: This is all YOUR fault!

Mario: MY fault? You're the one who said "Choose the sixth plate from the left, because it's awesome!"

R.O.B.: Are you accusing me of something?

Mario: You accused me of something first!

_Prang Sam Yot_

Ganondorf and Wario had gotten to Prang Sam Yot and took their clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Detour: Bowl of Bugs or Barrel of Monkeys.

Bill: A detour is a choice between two tasks! In this detour: Bowl of Bugs or Barrel of Monkeys!

In Bowl of Bugs, teams must travel five kilometres to a town just outside of Lopburi and go to a nearby restaurant. Once there, they must each eat a bowl of fried crickets and grasshoppers. Once completed, that team will receive their next clue.

In Barrel of Monkeys, teams must make a ceremonial feast for monkeys here at Prang Sam Yot. Once the challenge organizer is satisfied, they will receive their next clue.

Ganondorf: Let's do Barrel of Monkeys.

_Temple of Dawn_

Sonic and Marth were almost done with their row.

Sonic: Yes! This plate works!

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Marth: Drive to Prang Sam Yot.

However, R.O.B. and Mario were still struggling.

R.O.B.: Two hours?

Mario: Two hours.

R.O.B.: How many have we tried?

Mario: Ten plates.

R.O.B.: Mario, by any chance, did you walk under a ladder today?

Mario: Do you really believe in that stuff?

R.O.B.: Never mind. Let's keep going.

_Prang Sam Yot_

Ganondorf: This is harder than it looks!

Wario: It's much harder to set the items in place than you'd think.

Just then, Jigglypuff and Kirby made it there.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Kirby: Detour.

Jigglypuff: Let's do Barrel of Monkeys.

About twenty minutes later…

Ganondorf: Is this good enough?

Challenge Organizer: Yes, it is.

Ganondorf and Wario received their next clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Drive to your next pit stop, the Marble Temple in Bangkok. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Bill: Teams must now drive back to Bangkok and go to the Marble Temple, the tenth pit stop in a race around the world. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

_Temple of Dawn_

Mario: It's now 4 AM.

R.O.B.: We're gonna be eliminated.

Mario: Not necessarily. Peach and Samus got yielded, remember?

Peach and Samus entered.

R.O.B.: You were saying?

Mario was absolutely livid.

_Prang Sam Yot_

Kirby: Jigglypuff, what are you doing?

Jigglypuff was walking around with a one of the plates for the challenge hooked on her ear.

Kirby: Jigglypuff! Focus!

Jigglypuff: But Kirby! This is so much fun!

Kirby: I don't care if it makes you the queen of the world!

Jigglypuff: Spleen.

Kirby: What?

Jigglypuff: Spleen is a funny word!

Kirby: You're right, it certainly is. Now, let's keep going!

_Temple of Dawn_

Mario: Great. We're gonna be passed by a team who got yielded.

Peach: Yes! This one works! Exactly 108!

Peach and Samus got their next clue.

R.O.B.: What the hell!

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 4th Place_

Peach: Drive to Prang Sam Yot.

Mario checked his watch again. It was now 4:16 AM.

Mario: Two and a half [censor sound]ing hours. What a joke.

_Prang Sam Yot_

Jigglypuff and Kirby had just finished.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Kirby: Drive to… …the Marble Temple in Bangkok. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Jigglypuff: Let's go!

The screen then showed Peach and Samus making their way to Prang Sam Yot.

Peach & Samus  
Currently in 4th Place

Samus: We're so close now. One million dollars is so near!

Peach: Hey Samus, if we win, what'll you do with the million bucks?

Samus: You go first.

Peach: I'll buy two or three new big-name cars, all in bright pink, of course, some jewelry for myself, and some high-end clothing and perfumes. Other than that, I'm not too sure for the remainder of the money. What about you, Samus?

Samus: Almost the same thing…

Peach: Really?

Samus: What? Can't I embrace my feminine side?

Peach: Well, okay…

Samus: Nah, you're partly right. Some of the sutff I get will be more like what I'm associated with. But still, is it so wrong for a bounty hunter like me to be more in touch with my feminine side?

Peach: Well…

_Temple of Dawn_

It was now three hours since R.O.B. and Mario had started.

Mario: This is retarded.

R.O.B.: Here's plate number sixteen.

After trying that, it also didn't work.

Mario: How long do we need to do this godforsaken challenge?

About ten minutes later…

Mario: This one works!

R.O.B.: God damn it! Finally!

R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in Last Place

After reading the clue, they were off.

In the car…

Mario: That challenge was absurd.

R.O.B.: We're now a lock for elimination.

_Prang Sam Yot_

Marth: There's the cluebox!

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Marth: Detour: Bowl of Bugs or Barrel of Monkeys.

Sonic: Bowl of Bugs.

Marth: Are you sure?

Sonic: Absolutely.

_Marble Temple_

The screen cut to the backdrop, then to Bill standing on the mat.

It then showed Ganondorf and Wario emerging from it.

Ganondorf and Wario hurried to the mat.

Bill: Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number one!

_Ganondorf & Wario  
1st Place_

Wario: Yes!

Bill: And I have some good news for you. As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won a week's stay in Onett, all expenses paid.

Ganondorf: We're so close now!

Wario: I can feel it - we might just win this whole thing!

Bill: And, it was a really dominant performance to boot - you two never relinquished the lead after coming out of the airport first.

_Detour_

_Sonic & Marth  
On Bowl of Bugs_

Sonic and Marth had just finished.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Marth: Drive to your next pit stop, the Marble Temple in Bangkok. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Sonic: Let's go!

Marth: Hey Sonic, how'd you finish so quickly?

Sonic: I'm a hedgehog, remember?

Soon after, Peach and Samus got to the cluebox.

Peach & Samus  
Currently in 4th Place

Samus: Detour.

Peach: Bowl of Bugs?

Samus: Are you sure? This isn't like you!

Peach: I'm sure!

Samus: Are you okay?

Peach: Yes, why?

Samus: Nothing. It's just that you can be a little…

Peach: Picky?

Samus: Nah, I'd say wimpy.

Peach slapped Samus's right cheek.

Soon…

_Peach & Samus  
On Bowl of Bugs_

Samus: This is just about the worst thing ever. How come _you _can tolerate this crap?

Peach: The castle chefs have made far worse. Oh, and did I tell you about the time I went to Cappy Town? Chef Kawasaki is terrible!

_Marble Temple_

Jigglypuff and Kirby arrived at the mat.

Bill: Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number two.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
2nd Place_

Meanwhile, back at Prang Sam Yot…

_Peach & Samus  
On Bowl of Bugs_

Samus: Ugh, this is gross beyond my wildest dreams!

Five minutes later, Peach was done.

Peach: Come on, Samus! Not long to go now!

In about ten minutes…

Samus: Yes! Done!

They got their clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 4th Place_

Samus: The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Peach: Let's go!

Meanwhile, in one of the other cars…

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Marth: If this is an elimination leg, we'll be in the final four.

Sonic: I'm not even a Nintendo character, so this is huge for me.

Marth: Still, we're certain of a spot in the last four.

Sonic: Yeah.

Prang Sam Yot

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Currently in Last Place_

Mario: Detour.

R.O.B.: What should we do?

Mario: How about Barrel of Monkeys?

R.O.B.: Okay.

About 45 minutes later, Sonic and Marth exited their car at the pit stop.

They hurried to the mat.

Bill: Sonic and Marth, you are team number three.

_Sonic & Marth  
3rd Place_

Marth: Well, it's a decent result.

Bill: This is actually your best result to date, and it had to be, or else you guys could've been eliminated.

Marth: Who'd have thought it'd take this long for us to make the top three?

Sonic: Still, we have a shot at winning this whole thing!

Bill: You do realize, if this is an elimination leg, and if the team who I think will come in last gets eliminated, you'll be the only team left not to have won a leg yet?

Sonic: The other teams can have all the other legs for all I care, as long as we get the final leg and the million dollars!

Later…

Bill: Peach and Samus, you are team number four.

_Peach & Samus  
4th Place_

Peach: Yeah!

Bill: You've turned out to be the surprise package of this race. Do you think you can ride the wave and bring it home?

Peach: Bring the wave home? What do you mean by that?

Bill: *facepalm*

And eventually, R.O.B. and Mario walked despondently to the pit stop mat.

Bill: R.O.B. and Mario, you are the last team to arrive.

_R.O.B. & Mario  
Last Place_

Mario: I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race. Any final opinions on your partner and/or the race?

R.O.B.: It's been absolutely awesome, and though we didn't win, hey, fifth place is great.

Mario: In your face, Luigi! Woo! We were fifth and you were sixth! Yes!

**Finish Times:**

Ganondorf and Wario: 5:33 AM

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 5:59 AM

Sonic and Marth: 7:02 AM

Peach and Samus: 7:45 AM

R.O.B. and Mario: 8:42 AM (Eliminated)

**Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:**

Teams face probably their toughest battle yet!

And, one team "chalks" it up at the Fast Forward!

Don't miss it!


	11. We Don't Get Enough Credit For This

Bill: Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, five teams travelled to Bangkok, Thailand! Once there, Sonic and Marth were quickly pulled over by the police.

_Just then, a police car came up to them._

_Policeman: You're under arrest for drug smuggling!_

_Sonic: Drug smuggling? But we didn't…_

_Policeman: You're coming with me! _

At the battle against Crazy Hand, all the teams won, except Peach and Samus.

_The screen cut to Peach and Samus getting KO'd._

R.O.B. and Mario ended up spending over three hours on the same task.

_Mario: We've been here for at least an hour._

_R.O.B.: Two hours?_

_Mario: Two hours._

_R.O.B.: How many have we tried?_

_Mario: Ten plates._

_It was now three hours since R.O.B. and Mario had started._

_Mario: This is retarded._

Peach and Samus got yielded.

_Jigglypuff and Kirby stuck Peach and Samus's photo in the "Yielded" section and their own in the "Courtesy of…" section._

Ganondorf and Wario held it together for the whole leg…

_Bill: Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number one!_

_Wario: Yes!_

…to take first place!

Despite, their run-in with the law, Sonic and Marth survived elimination.

_Bill: Sonic and Marth, you are team number three._

R.O.B. and Mario's prior mishap, however, ended up eliminating them.

_Bill: I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race. _

Can Ganondorf and Wario hang on to first place? Can Sonic and Marth win their first leg? And can Peach and Samus overcome both the infighting that has plagued them in portions of this race and a two-hour deficit? Four teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

Peach & Samus

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Bill: Ganondorf and Wario, who were first to arrive at 5:33 AM, will depart at 5:33 PM.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
1st to depart, 5:33 PM_

Wario: Drive to Pak Khlong Talad. You have $51 for this leg of the race.

Bill: Teams must now drive to Pak Khlong Talad to receive their next clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Interview before leg_

Wario: Ganondorf and I feel confident about the next leg.

Ganondorf: If we win it, we'll have three leg wins, tying Ness and Olimar.

In about 15 minutes, they were there.

Wario: There's the cluebox!

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place _

Wario: Go by train to Chiang Mai, Thailand. The next clue is outside the train station.

Bill: Teams must now travel seven hundred kilometres by train to Chiang Mai. Outside the station is the next clue.

Ganondorf: Okay, let's go!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
2nd to depart, 5:59 PM_

Kirby: Drive to… wait, how do you pronounce this?

Jigglypuff: Pack Ko-long Tay-lad?

Kirby: I think so…

Jigglypuff: Pronunciation doesn't matter right now. Let's go!

_Hua Lam Phong Railway Station_

Ganondorf: The next train goes at 7:35 PM.

Wario: Let's get our tickets, then.

Right after that, they got their tickets.

Wario: You know, there's something I've wanted to do on this race ever since it started…

Ganondorf: What?

Wario: You'll see…

Wario then spoke to the PA announcer in the train station.

Wario's voice boomed over the speakers.

Wario: HEY EVERYONE! I'M GONNA WIN A MILLION DOLLARS!

Nothing happened.

Wario came back to where Ganondorf was.

Wario: Uh, why was there no reaction?

Ganondorf: This isn't an English-speaking country, remember?

_Pak Khlong Talad_

Kirby: It's a cluebox!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Kirby: Go by train to Chiang Mai, Thailand.

_Hua Lam Phong Railway Station_

Jigglypuff and Kirby had gotten their tickets and were now discussing tactics for this leg.

Jigglypuff: We'll need to get the jump on them in some form.

Kirby: Like this? *jumps*

Jigglypuff: No, not like that! Like this!

Jigglypuff floated for about a minute.

Back at the pit stop…

_Sonic & Marth  
3rd to depart, 7:02 PM_

Marth: You have $51 for this leg of the race.

Sonic: So, what's the strategy for this leg?

Marth: Just one word.

Sonic: And that word is…?

Marth: Spandex.

Sonic: Spandex?

Marth: Yes, spandex.

Soon, they made it there.

Marth: Hurry! Get to the cluebox!

Sonic: Okay!

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Marth: Go by train to Chiang Mai, Thailand.

_Hua Lam Phong Railway Station_

The first train to Chiang Mai left.

_1st Train to Chiang Mai_

Bill: Teams on the 7:35 PM train to Chiang Mai include Ganondorf and Wario and Jigglypuff and Kirby.

_Peach & Samus  
Last to depart, 7:45 PM_

Peach: Drive to Pak Khlong Talad.

However, twenty minutes later, in the car…

Samus: We're hopelessly lost.

Peach: I told you to keep going straight!

Samus: How was I to know that the right turn I took led us into confusing ring roads?

Peach: That's right, shift the blame!

Samus: Shift the blame? Since when did I do that?

Peach: You just did!

Samus: Shut the hell up!

Peach: I have the right to say whatever the [censor sound] I want, especially when I'm right!

_Hua Lam Phong Railway Station_

Sonic and Marth had already bought their tickets.

Sonic: Okay, so we're on the 10:00 PM train. Hopefully, something bad will happen to Peach and Samus.

It was now 8:15 PM.

_Pak Khlong Talad_

Peach and Samus had finally made it there.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in Last Place_

Samus: Okay, we must be way behind now. Let's go!

Peach: Right!

Later…

_Hua Lam Phong Railway Station_

Peach: Okay, so our train leaves at 10:00 PM and arrives at 12:45 PM tomorrow afternoon.

Samus: Yep.

Sonic: Well, well, well! If it isn't Team Blondies!

Marth: Who'd have thought that you'd make it this far?

Sonic: Well, your chances are about to drop to zero.

Samus: Hey! We're on the same train!

Marth: Even so, you're going down!

Peach: Ha! We'll see about that!

_2nd Train to Chiang Mai_

Bill: Teams on the 10:00 PM train to Chiang Mai include Sonic and Marth and Peach and Samus.

_1st Train  
Chiang Mai Railway Station  
Arrived at 9:45 AM_

Jigglypuff and Kirby made it out first.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place_

Kirby: Take a taxi to the Old Bridge on Ban Muang Kut.

Bill: Teams must now take a taxi to the Old Bridge on Ban Muang Kut, where their next clue awaits them.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Wario: … Old Bridge on Ban Muang Kut.

Ganondorf: We've fallen behind! Hurry!

On the way there, Ganondorf and Wario had the chance to pass Jigglypuff and Kirby.

Wario: Sir! Pass the taxi just ahead!

Nothing.

Wario: Crap! He doesn't speak English!

Ganondorf: Well, we can still beat them in the challenge.

Eventually, Jigglypuff and Kirby were first there.

Jigglypuff: Hurry! Get the clue!

Kirby: Okay!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place_

Kirby: Detour: Boat or Beast.

Bill: A detour is a choice between two tasks! In this detour: Boat or Beast!

In Boat, teams must travel down the nearby river on the marked course using a bamboo raft and poles. Once at the end, teams will receive their next clue.

In Beast, teams had to ride on the back of an elephant down a marked path. However, this elephant is quite old, and thus, rather slow. Once they reach the end, teams will receive their next clue.

Jigglypuff: Let's do Boat.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Wario: Detour: Boat or Beast.

Ganondorf: Hey, there's a Fast Forward here!

Bill: Fast Forward! In a Fast Forward, one team can skip all tasks and go to their next pit stop in exchange for the completion of a particular task! This is only one of three Fast Forwards, so teams must decide when it is most applicable to use it!

To claim this Fast Forward, teams must go to the Mae Ping Village, which is also the site of a later task, and wash chalk markings off an elephant's back. Once the nearby judge is satisfied, they will get their next clue.

Ganondorf: What do you reckon?

Wario: Let's not do it.

Ganondorf: But it's the last one!

Wario: Even so, I'm feeling better about the detour.

Ganondorf: Okay. We should do Beast.

Soon…

_Ganondorf & Wario  
On Beast_

Wario: Okay, here goes!

Once they got on…

Ganondorf: This thing isn't moving!

Wario: Is this a power-designated challenge?

Ganondorf: No.

Wario: That sucks.

Meanwhile…

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On Boat_

Kirby: Well, here we go again.

Jigglypuff: I don't want a repeat of what happened before.

_Flashback_

_Kirby: This is ridiculous._

_Jigglypuff: We've been out here for way too long. … …This isn't your fault, nor is it mine. … …do you know whose fault this is?_

_Kirby: Whose?_

_Jigglypuff: THE GODDAMN PRODUCERS, THAT'S WHO!... … Without the producers, we wouldn't be stuck like this! Without the producers, we could've done something else! Without the producers, we could be on the French Riviera instead of the [censor sound] Panama Canal! Without the producers, cancer could've been cured! Without the producers, Chuck Norris could've been out-Chuck Norris'ed! Without the producers…_

_End Flashback_

Jigglypuff: Yikes! That was awful!

The screen shifted between both teams on their detours.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
On Beast_

Wario: Why won't this thing go any faster?

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On Boat_

Kirby: Keep rowing, Jigglypuff!

_Ganondorf & Wario  
On Beast_

Ganondorf: We can't be far off now.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On Boat_

Kirby: Almost there!

In the end, Jigglypuff and Kirby prevailed over Ganondorf and Wario.

Jigglypuff: Yes! We made it!

Kirby: Get the clue!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place_

Kirby: Drive to Mae Ping Village.

Bill: Teams must now drive to the Mae Ping Village outside town, where their next clue is.

Jigglypuff: Okay, let's go!

In the car…

Kirby: Well, we put THAT ghost to bed!

Jigglypuff: We put Gengar to sleep? I didn't see any Gengar!

Kirby: *facepalm*

About fifteen minutes later…

Ganondorf: Yes! There's the end!

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Wario: Drive to Mae Ping Village.

Ganondorf: Let's go!

_Mae Ping Village_

Jigglypuff and Kirby hurried out to get the clue.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby_  
_Currently in 1st Place_

Kirby: Battle! Are you the master?

Bill: Battle! Battle challenges are challenges where both team members fight against a boss. If the team defeats the boss, the attendant will give them their next clue. If the team fails to defeat the boss, the team will be given a one-hour penalty. If either or both of the team members are still unconscious after one hour, the attendant will inject whoever is still unconscious with a chemical to restore their consciousness. Once the penalty is served, the team will receive their next clue. In this Battle, teams will fight Master Hand.

Kirby: Okay! Let's do this!

Master Hand appeared on the battlefield.

Jigglypuff used a side-smash to start the battle.

Kirby used Vulcan Jab.

Master Hand punched down, shaking the field.

_Jigglypuff: 18% damage  
Kirby: 16% damage  
Master Hand: 93% HP remaining_

Jigglypuff attacked with Rollout, while Kirby used Stone.

Master Hand used Gun, but missed.

_Jigglypuff: 18% damage  
Kirby: 16% damage  
Master Hand: 84% HP remaining_

Later…

_Jigglypuff: 118% damage  
Kirby: 99% damage  
Master Hand: 3% HP remaining_

Kirby used Final Cutter, KO'ing Master Hand.

Attendant: Well done! Here's your next clue.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place_

Jigglypuff: Drive to the Karen Village, the pit stop. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Bill: Teams must now drive to the Karen Village, about eight kilometers away. The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Jigglypuff: This is awesome!

Kirby: It's gonna be three!

About five minutes later, Ganondorf and Wario arrived.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Wario: Battle! Are you the master?

Ganondorf: Damn straight, we are! Let's do it!

They started the battle with Master Hand.

Wario opened with Wario Bike.

Ganondorf used Warlock Punch.

Master Hand attacked Wario, using Drill.

_Ganondorf: 0% damage  
Wario: 14% damage  
Master Hand: 89% HP remaining_

Wario then followed up with a down-smash, while Ganondorf used his up-air.

Master Hand used Ram on Ganondorf.

_Ganondorf: 28% damage  
Wario: 14% damage  
Master Hand: 81% HP remaining_

_Karen Village_

Jigglypuff and Kirby tore towards the mat (which was not that fast considering their dash speeds).

Bill had a familiar look in his eyes.

They stepped onto the mat.

Bill: Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number one!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
1st Place_

Jigglypuff: Yeah!

Bill: And I have some good news for you. As the winners of this leg of the race, you have each won $25,000, which you can enjoy after the race.

Kirby: That's number three!

Bill: Yup! If you can win another leg, you will have sole possession of the record for most legs won. How do you guys see things panning out?

Jigglypuff: We had a sluggish start, but now, I really think we have a shot at winning the million dollars.

Kirby: As long as we keep racing with everything we've got, we can win this.

_Mae Ping Village_

_Ganondorf: KO'd  
Wario: 119% damage  
Master Hand: 6% HP remaining_

Wario: Here goes!

Wario used his side-smash.

It KO'd Master Hand!

They received their next clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Wario: The last team to check in may be eliminated.

Ganondorf: Let's go!

In the car…

Ganondorf: Yeah! We're just too good!

Wario: We will win a million dollars!

Ganondorf: No ifs, ands, or buts!

Wario: Butts? Where?

Ganondorf: What do you mean by that?

Wario: You said something about naked butts!

Ganondorf: Never mind. Forget it.

Before too long, they arrived at the pit stop.

Bill: Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number two.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
2nd Place_

Wario: Things are now starting to take shape.

Ganondorf: We were always contenders to win, and now, we just might.

Wario: WORLD DOMINATION!

Wario and Ganondorf slapped a high-five.

At the railway station about a half-hour later…

_2nd Train  
Chiang Mai Railway Station  
Arrived at 12:45 PM_

Sonic and Marth got their clue.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Marth: A detour.

Sonic: Should we take the Fast Forward?

Marth: Okay.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in Last Place_

Peach: Detour: Boat or Beast.

Samus: Boat, definitely.

Peach: Are you sure you don't wanna do the Fast Forward?

Samus: Does a rabbit have yellow polka-dots?

Peach: Well, technically, if…

Samus: Never mind. Let's just go.

Later, at the detour…

Peach: Okay, how do we work this thing again?

Samus: …with the paddles?

Peach: Well, whatever it is, we have to hurry - Sonic and Marth went off the other way, which means that they took the Fast Forward!

_Mae Ping Village_

Sonic and Marth were on their Fast Forward.

Sonic: So, we have to get all this chalk off the elephant's back?

Challenge Organizer: Yup, that's the gist of it.

Marth: Okay then, let's get started!

However, within fifteen minutes…

Sonic: Aargh! We should've been done by now!

Marth: Remember, this is a fast forward. If we get this right, we go straight to the pit stop.

Sonic: Yeah, but you never know when we'll be done! This is ridiculous!

Just then, Sonic dropped his sponge and the elephant stepped on it.

Sonic: Yet another mishap.

Meanwhile, at the detour…

_Peach & Samus  
On Boat_

Samus: This is a lot harder than it looks.

Peach: Still, we may yet have a chance to avoid elimination if Sonic and Marth suck at the Fast Forward.

_Mae Ping Village_

Sonic and Marth were struggling.

Marth: We are SUCKING at this!

Sonic: Forget about it! Just focus on getting the Fast Forward!

Marth: Should we stop and switch to the detour?

Sonic: No. This will be worth it.

Sonic then had his sponge stolen by a random petty thief.

Sonic: We don't get enough credit for this.

Later, at the detour…

Peach and Samus now could see the end of the marked course.

Samus: Yes! We're here!

They got off and took their clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Samus: Drive to Mae Ping Village.

Later, when they got to Mae Ping Village…

Peach: Hey! Sonic and Marth are here!

Samus: Do you think that maybe…

Peach: Forget it. Let's just take the clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Samus: Battle.

Peach: Well, here goes!

Master Hand entered the battlefield.

Peach started off with Peach Bomber.

Samus used Missile.

Master Hand used Jet on Samus.

_Peach: 0% damage  
Samus: 16% damage  
Master Hand: 93% HP remaining_

Peach and Samus then both used their side-smashes.

Master Hand attacked with Punch.

_Peach: 22% damage  
Samus: 34% damage  
Master Hand: 86% HP remaining_

Meanwhile…

Marth: Is this good enough?

The challenge organizer nodded, then passed them their next clue.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Marth: Drive to the Karen Village.

Bill: Sonic and Marth, having completed the Fast Forward, may now skip all tasks and head to the pit stop at the Karen Village.

Samus: Are you serious?

Peach: We should've taken the Fast Forward.

In the car…

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Marth: From right under Peach and Samus's noses!

Sonic: It doesn't get any better than this!

Marth: I know!

Sonic: That is, unless we had chocolate milkshakes to go with this moment!

Marth: Right you are!

However, back at the battle, Peach and Samus had just been KO'd.

_Karen Village_

Sonic and Marth ran onto the mat.

Bill: Sonic and Marth, you are team number three.

_Sonic & Marth  
3rd Place_

Bill: Guys, as the only team so far to not win a single leg, you are considered the underdogs. How do you feel about that?

Marth: It's not a problem. In fact, we relish this role, as the less likely they think we'll win, the more likely they'll underestimate us.

Sonic: What? Underdogs? But I want us to be the favorites!

About an hour or so later, Peach and Samus showed up, having completed their one-hour penalty.

Bill: Peach and Samus, you're the last team to arrive.

_Peach & Samus  
Last Place_

Samus: It's no surprise to us - we've been here before.

Peach: I think I know what comes next.

Bill: However, the good news is that this is one of four pre-determined non-elimination legs, so you're still in the race, but there's a catch. In the next leg, you will have to go through a Speed Bump.

Peach: Yeah! We survived again!

Bill: I make that five times now that you've barely avoided elimination, the others in Legs 3, 4, 7, and 10.

Samus: Just goes to show you, you can never keep a good team down.

**Finish Times:**

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 11:55 AM

Ganondorf and Wario: 12:09 PM

Sonic and Marth: 2:32 PM

Peach and Samus: 3:39 PM

**Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:**

The final elimination is made!

Teams receive a red carpet welcome!

And, can they win at their own game?

Don't miss it!


	12. Are You Calling Me Soft?

Disclaimer Repost:

I do not own Brawl or the Amazing Race. Also, I do not own any copyrighted items in this fanfic.

Bill: Last time on The Brawl Amazing Race, four teams travelled to Chiang Mai, Thailand!

On the way to the train station, Peach and Samus bickered again!

_Peach: You just did!_

_Samus: Shut the hell up!_

_Peach: I have the right to say whatever the [censor sound] I want… !_

At the battle against Master Hand, yet again, all teams who participated won…

_The screen cut to Ganondorf and Wario, then Jigglypuff and Kirby KO'ing Master Hand._

…except Peach and Samus.

_The screen cut to Peach and Samus getting KO'd._

Sonic and Marth attempted and completed the Fast Forward.

_Marth: Is this good enough?_

_The challenge organizer nodded, then passed them their next clue._

However, it was not good enough to win them the leg, as that honour went to Jigglypuff and Kirby.

_Bill: Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number one!_

At the back of the pack, Sonic and Marth's Fast Forward success consigned Peach and Samus to last place.

Bill: Peach and Samus, you're the last team to arrive.

However, they survived elimination yet again.

Bill: … this is one of four pre-determined non-elimination legs…

Can Jigglypuff and Kirby hang on to the lead? Can Sonic and Marth break their duck and finally win a leg? Can Ganondorf and Wario assert their pre-race status as favourites? And can Peach and Samus overcome starting from last place for the fifth time, a Speed Bump, a deficit of almost four hours, and infighting to advance to the final leg? Four teams remain, who will be eliminated… next?

*theme music*

**Remaining teams:**

Ganondorf & Wario

Sonic & Marth

Peach & Samus

Jigglypuff & Kirby

Bill: Jigglypuff and Kirby, who were first to arrive at 11:55 AM, will depart at 11:55 PM.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
1st to depart, 11:55 PM_

Kirby: Fly to Tokyo, Japan. You have $70 for this leg of the race.

Bill: Teams must now fly over four thousand kilometers to Tokyo, Japan. Once there, they must take a taxi to Shiba Park in Minato.

In the car…

Jigglypuff: Second-last leg!

Kirby: And, we're in first place!

Jigglypuff: We got it made in the shade!

Kirby: Uh, Jigglypuff, it's midnight. It's all shade outside.

Jigglypuff: Shut up.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
2nd to depart, 12:09 AM_

Wario: Fly to Tokyo, Japan.

Ganondorf: We can't afford to screw up this leg.

Wario: Just get it together, and we'll be in the finals.

_Chiang Mai International Airport_

Jigglypuff and Kirby hurried to the counter.

Kirby: When's the earliest flight you can get us on to Tokyo?

Attendant: I can get you on a 6:55 AM flight through Bangkok and then through Hong Kong. It will land in Tokyo at 8:25 PM.

Kirby: Looks like we'll all be bunched up again.

A while later, Ganondorf and Wario got their tickets, too.

Wario: It's all of us bunched up again.

Ganondorf glared at Kirby.

Ganondorf: You two are going down.

Kirby: Yeah, by you and what army?

Ganondorf: With THIS army!

He reached into his backpack.

As it turned out, Ganondorf pulled out a pair of boxer shorts with fairies on it.

Wario: Hey! That's my pair of boxers!

_Sonic & Marth  
3rd to depart, 2:32 AM_

Marth: You have $70 for this leg of the race.

Sonic: Final four shootout.

Marth: Who'd have thought that we'd get this far?

Sonic: I always did.

Marth: Yeah, right. You thought we were eliminated back in Portugal!

_Flashback_

_Sonic: If we get eliminated, you'll never hear the end of this._

_Marth: You just wait._

_End Flashback_

Sonic: Yeah, but that was just a one-off!

Marth: Never mind. Let's just go on.

_Peach & Samus  
Last to depart, 3:39 AM_

Peach: Fly to Tokyo, Japan. You have $60 for this leg of the race.

Samus: We're dead last. We really need to come up huge to get back in contention.

_Chiang Mai International Airport_

Sonic and Marth had obtained their tickets for a while now.

The attendant was now speaking to Peach and Samus.

Attendant: There's a 6:55 AM flight trhough Bangkok and Hong Kong. It will land at 8:25 PM local time in Tokyo.

Peach: Okay then, we'll have two tickets for it.

About three hours later, the teams boarded the plane.

Bill: All seven teams are on the same flight to Tokyo, Japan, by way of interchanges in Bangkok, Thailand, and Hong Kong.

_Narita International Airport  
Landed at 8:25 PM_

Peach: Yes! We're out first!

Samus: Hurry! We need a taxi!

The screen then showed the teams in their taxis.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 2nd Place_

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in Last Place_

Soon, all four taxis were caught in a jam.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Marth: Crap. Of all the times for a traffic jam.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in Last Place_

Wario: We're already last, and this isn't helping.

But soon, after they got out of the jam…

Ganondorf: It's Jigglypuff and Kirby!

To their delight, the taxi driver passed Jigglypuff and Kirby.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Wario: Yes!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in Last Place_

Jigglypuff: You gotta be kidding.

Kirby: We can't afford to fall any further behind.

_Shiba Park_

Peach and Samus were the first to get there.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

Samus: Drive to Shibuya Mark City.

Peach: Let's go!

A few minutes later, Sonic and Marth were there.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Marth: Drive to Shibuya Mark City.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Wario: We better hurry! We've fallen behind!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in Last Place_

Kirby: …Shibuya Mark City.

Later, Peach and Samus were first to make it to Shibuya.

Peach: There's a cluebox, rught there!

Samus: Go get it!

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

Samus: Detour: You Catch It or You Cart It.

Bill: A detour is a choice between two tasks! In this detour: You Catch It or You Cart It!

In You Catch It, teams must go to a booth for goldfish scooping. However, as is custom, they must use paddles made of rice paper. Once they have successfully scooped up 40 goldfish, they will receive their next clue.

In You Cart It, teams must locate a certain dry cleaner's store and collect a yukata which they then have to deliver by cart to a certain address. The person at that address will receive their next clue.

Samus: Let's do You Cart It.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Marth: Detour.

Sonic: I'm liking the sound of You Catch It.

Marth: Sure.

_Peach & Samus  
On You Cart It_

Samus: Are we supposed to take a right here?

Peach: I have no freakin' clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Ganondorf: Detour: You Catch It or You Cart It.

Wario: Let's do You Cart It.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in Last Place_

Kirby: Shall we do You Catch It?

Jigglypuff: Okay.

_Sonic & Marth  
On You Catch It_

Marth: This is a lot harder than I thought.

Sonic: Let's hope everything goes "swimmingly" for us.

Marth: That's so lame.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
On You Cart It_

Wario: So this is the address, huh?

Ganondorf: Yeah. Let's do this!

Peach & Samus  
On You Cart It

Samus: Do you even know what you're doing?

Peach: Of course I do!

Samus: Hey! Ganondorf and Wario are just behind us!

Samus ran over to them.

Samus: Take a left behind the fourth row of shops.

Samus then left.

Wario: I don't know - is this a trick?

Ganondorf: We should try it anyway.

They took the left turn.

Samus: Yes! We got them!

Peach and Samus slapped a high-five.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On You Catch It_

_Goldfish Caught: 9_

Kirby: We need to pick up the pace! This isn't working!

_Sonic & Marth  
On You Catch It_

_Goldfish Caught: 17_

Marth: Okay, that's one more!

Sonic: Let's keep at it!

_Peach & Samus  
On You Cart It_

Peach and Samus had just arrived at the correct address and got their clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

Samus: Drive to Kishiwada Castle in Osaka.

Bill: Teams will now have to drive over four hundred kilometers to Kishiwada Castle in Osaka, where they will find their next clue.

In the car…

Samus: Hey Peach, who do you reckon is our main competition?

Peach: Sonic and Marth.

Samus: Sonic and Marth? They've never won a leg!

Peach: Who cares! They're way too dangerous!

Samus: No, they're not! They're no threat! Now, Ganondorf and Wario! I think that they're our main opposition.

Peach: Why?

Samus: Don't ask me, ask Dr. Octagonapus!

Peach: Laser Collection reference? Hell yeah.

Back at the detour, Sonic and Marth had completed their challenge.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Marth: Drive to Kishiwada Castle.

Sonic: Let's go!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On You Catch It_

_Goldfish Caught: 27_

Kirby: Damn it! Sonic and Marth have gone.

Jigglypuff: Forget it! Let's just do this!

_Ganondorf & Wario  
On You Cart It_

Wario: [censor sound] those two blonde [censor sound]es! They sent us the wrong way!

Ganondorf: Well, we'll just have to make do with it.

Wario: But we must be so far from the marked address now!

Ganondorf: Well, if we don't make it, at least we can say that we did respectably on this race and had a good time on it.

Wario: Really?

Ganondorf: Ah, who am I kidding! Let's go!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
On You Catch It_

_Goldfish Caught: 39_

Kirby: One more!

Jigglypuff: I'm on it!

Jigglypuff caught the last goldfish they needed.

They got their clue.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Kirby: Drive to Kishiwada Castle in Osaka.

Jigglypuff: Hurry! There's no time to lose!

In one of the cars…

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Sonic: We are just too good.

Marth: Yeah, we pwn noobs because we're leet!

Sonic: Uh… what?

Marth: Never mind.

Back at the detour…

Ganondorf: Yes! We finally made it!

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in Last Place_

Wario: Drive to Kishiwada Castle.

Ganondorf: We have to hurry! We're probably way behind right now!

About four hours later, Peach and Samus made it to Kishiwada Castle.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 1st Place_

Samus: Take a bus ticket from the bowl on the marked chair.

Bill: Teams must now take a ticket from a bowl on a marked chair. Two of the tickets are for a 7:50 AM bus to Kyoto, and two are for an 8:55 AM bus.

Peach: Okay, here goes!

Peach pulled out a ticket, and it had a clue attached.

_Peach & Samus  
1st on 8:55 AM bus_

Peach: Drive to Osaka Station.

Samus: Looks like we're sleeping in the station tonight.

Sonic and Marth were there next.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Marth: Let's get our ticket.

Sonic: Okay, here goes!

_Sonic & Marth  
2nd on 8:55 AM bus_

Sonic: What the hell!

Marth: Not again! You ruined it for us!

Sonic: Well, I

Sonic: Drive to Osaka Station.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Kirby: We have to take a ticket.

Jigglypuff: I'll get it.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
1st on 7:50 AM bus_

Jigglypuff: Well, what did you honestly expect?

Kirby: Pure ownage.

About fifteen minutes later, Ganondorf and Wario arrived.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in Last Place_

Wario: Take a bus ticket from the bowl on the marked chair.

Ganondorf: I'm feeling lucky.

He pulled out the ticket.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
2nd on 7:50 AM bus_

Wario: Yes!

Ganondorf: Just as I'd hoped. Of course, I always knew we'd get that.

Wario: Now, to the station!

Next morning…

_Osaka Station_

_1st Bus to Kyoto_

Bill: Teams on the 7:50 AM bus to Kyoto include Ganondorf and Wario and Jigglypuff and Kirby.

On the bus…

Jigglypuff: So, Wario, how about an alliance for now?

Wario: Why?

Kirby: If something goes wrong, we can help bail you out. We can guarantee you a spot in the finals.

Ganondorf motioned for Wario to come to him.

Ganondorf: Wario, think about this! They tricked us earlier!

Wario: Still, we may need this!

Ganondorf: This could cost us a spot in the finals!

Wario: We have an hour's head start over the other two teams. What could possibly go wrong?

Ganondorf: Maybe you're right.

They went back to Jigglypuff and Kirby.

Ganondorf: We accept!

Kirby: Trust us, you won't regret this.

Eventually, the bus came to a stop. Then, they hurried out of the station to get their clue.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place_

Kirby: Drive to Kyoto Tower.

Bill: Teams must now drive to Kyoto Tower, where they will find their next clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Wario: Drive to Kyoto Tower.

Ganondorf: Hurry! We have to stay close to Team Pinkfluff!

_Kyoto Tower_

Jigglypuff: Hurry! Get the clue!

Kirby: I'm on it!

Kirby got the clue.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 1st Place_

Kirby: Take the elevator to the top of Kyoto Tower, then rappel down.

Bill: Teams must now take the elevator to the 100-metre-tall observation deck, then rappel down it. At the bottom, they will receive their next clue.

In the elevator…

Kirby: A rappelling challenge.

Jigglypuff: This'll be interesting.

Ganondorf and Wario were shortly behind.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Wario: Take the elevator to the top of Kyoto Tower, then rappel down.

Ganondorf: Okay, so we'll be rappelling, huh? Well, I repeat myself from the last time we rappelled: We should be okay, as long as you don't break the rope!

Wario: Please tell me you're joking.

Ganondorf: I'm dead serious.

Wario: You'll just be dead if you keep this up.

Ganondorf: Shut up and let's go, lardo.

At the observation deck…

Jigglypuff: Okay, let's do this!

Kirby: Too bad this isn't power-designated.

Jigglypuff: I know, right?

Meanwhile…

Ganondorf: Hey, get a load of this!

Wario: What?

Ganondorf: Look at the shirt someone's wearing!

It was a Super Smash Bros. Brawl shirt.

Bill: The person in that shot was planted there for commercial purposes.

Wario: Epic. Shameless self-advertising for the win!

Ganondorf: And speaking of shameless, your fly's down.

_Osaka Station_

_2nd Bus to Kyoto_

Bill: Teams on the 8:55 AM bus to Kyoto include Peach and Samus and Sonic and Marth.

_Kyoto Tower_

Jigglypuff and Kirby currently had the edge.

Ganondorf: Hey Kirby, I bet you can't go any further with those short, stubby legs of yours!

Kirby: What?

Ganondorf: You heard me! Short, stubby legs!

Kirby: Well, I-

Jigglypuff: Kirby! Don't let them heckle you! They've already passed us.

Kirby: What?

Ganondorf and Wario now had the lead.

Wario: That was just too easy!

_Kyoto Station_

The second bus had now arrived.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Samus: Drive to Kyoto Tower.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in Last Place_

Sonic: …Kyoto Tower.

Marth: It's all or nothing now!

Sonic: For us or for them?

Marth: For us.

Sonic: But if it's all or nothing, what happens if we finish second or third?

Marth: Sonic?

Sonic: What?

Marth: Shut the frick up.

Later, in the car…

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in Last Place_

Marth: This sucks.

Sonic: It could be all over here.

Marth: I know, and we'll have come so close, too!

Sonic: It could be worse. We could be trapped in quicksand right now.

Marth: Sonic, stop being an ass.

Sonic: What does that make you, then?

Marth: Just shut up.

Later, when they got to Kyoto Tower…

Peach and Samus hurried out of their cars, only to find a Speed Bump board.

Peach: Well, there's our Speed Bump.

Peach took the clue.

_Bill: Speed Bump! A speed bump is a task that only __Peach and Samus__ must complete to receive their next clue, having come last in the last leg! In this speed bump, t__hey must take the elevator to 4th floor of Kyoto Tower, then drop a rubber ball from a marked window into a container about 80 centimetres wide. As long as it bounces once into the container, it counts, even if it bounces back out. They must drop in three of the balls in order to receive their next clue._

Sonic and Marth were next to get the clue.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in Last Place_

Sonic: Take the elevator to the top of Kyoto Tower, then rappel down.

Marth: Please tell me you're joking.

Sonic: No, that's what it really says.

Marth started hyperventilating.

Sonic: Marth? Are you hyperventilating?

Marth: Hahaha, no! I'm just… uh… breathing heavily!

Sonic: Okay then! Let's do this!

Two minutes later, near the base of the tower…

Wario: Yes! We made it to the bottom!

Ganondorf and Wario ripped open the clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Drive to Mimizuka.

Bill: Teams must now drive to the monument known as Mimizuka to find their next clue.

A little after that, Jigglypuff and Kirby were done.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Kirby: Drive to Mimizuka.

At the top of the tower…

Sonic: Marth…

Marth: You know what happened the last time there was a rappelling challenge!

_Flashback_

_S__onic: Marth? Aren't you coming?_

_Marth: I can't do this!_

_Sonic: Yes, you can. One __million dollars is on the line!_

_Marth: No, I can't! It's too high and I'm too scared!_

_End Flashback_

Sonic: It's one million dollars, Marth!

Marth: I know, but…

Sonic: Just [censor sound] get this started already!

Sonic started down the tower.

Meanwhile, Peach and Samus were at their Speed Bump.

Peach: I'll try the first one.

It landed cleanly in the container!

Peach: Yes!

_Peach & Samus  
1/3 Completed_

Samus: I'll try the next one.

It missed by about two metres.

Samus: What the [censor sound]!

Peach: That was such a crappy throw!

Samus: You were just a lucky git.

Peach: No, I wasn't. In fact, watch this!

She threw the next ball.

Bystander: Ow!

Samus: Wow. You hit a random bystander with that. Truly hopeless, Peach.

Peach: Hopeless? I make you look like the worst racer on this race.

Samus: Me? Well, what the crap are you on about?

Peach: I believe you mean, "what the crap are you on".

_Mimizuka_

Ganondorf and Wario hurried to get the clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Drive to the Nintendo Headquarters. Wait, whaaaat?

Bill: Teams must now drive to the Nintendo Headquarters. Unknown to them, the Nintendo staff have prepared a red-carpet welcome for all the teams.

Wario: This is crazy!

Ganondorf: I can't believe this!

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Interview after race_

Wario: When we saw that we were going to the Nintendo Headquarters, we flipped out.

Ganondorf: Of all the places it could be, it was that. In-freaking-credible.

About five minutes later, Jigglypuff and Kirby turned up.

Kirby: There's the cluebox!

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Kirby: Drive to… oh, my God! Oh, my freaking God!

Jigglypuff: Why? What is it?

Kirby: Take a look at this!

Jigglypuff: No. Way. In. Hell.

Kirby: Yep. Nintendo Headquarters.

_Kyoto Tower_

By now, Peach and Samus had gotten two balls in the container.

Samus: Yes! Just one more!

Peach tossed it down, and it went in!

They got their clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in Last Place_

After reading the clue, they were off.

However, at the rappelling area, although Sonic was going down smoothly, Marth was struggling and going very slowly.

Sonic: Hurry it up, Marth!

Marth: Do you have any idea how scary this is?

Sonic: I don't care! Speed up for the million dollars!

Marth: Shut up!

_Nintendo Headquarters_

Ganondorf and Wario pulled up the car.

As they ran into the headquarters, around them were Nintendo workers forming a guard of honour around a red carpet.

Ganondorf and Wario ostentatiously waved to them as they ran through the front door.

They then took their clue.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Road Block! Who knows their history?

Bill: Road Block! A Road Block is a task that only one person can complete!  
In this Road Block, that team member must correctly arrange ten flash cards containing a Nintendo console or handheld in chronological order. They are: Game & Watch, NES, Game Boy, SNES, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Pocket, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo Gamecube, Nintendo DS, and Nintendo Wii. Once all these are correctly arranged, they will receive their next clue.

Ganondorf: I'll do this one.

A few minutes later, outside the building, Jigglypuff and Kirby ran onto the red carpet and through the door.

Kirby: Wow, it's as if we're celebrities!

Jigglypuff: Actually, we already kind of are.

Kirby: Yeah, but this is just epic!

Jigglypuff and Kirby ran over to the cluebox.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Kirby: Road Block! Who knows their history?

Jigglypuff: I'll do it.

_Kyoto Tower_

Peach and Samus had now passed Sonic and Marth… uh, just Marth.

Peach: That was easier than taking candy from a baby!

Samus: Didn't you once try to do that from Bowser Jr.?

Peach: Well…

Samus: PWNED!

_Nintendo Headquarters_

Ganondorf was, by now, just about done.

Ganondorf: Let's see… GBA goes after Gamecube… yes, and Wii is last…

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room…

Jigglypuff: Nintendo 64.

She put down the flash card.

Jigglypuff: Game Boy Pocket.

Soon…

Ganondorf: Done!

The challenge organizer came by.

_Correct Answer: Game & Watch, NES, Game Boy, SNES, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Pocket, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo Gamecube, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii  
Ganondorf's Answer: __**Game & Watch, NES, Game Boy**__, Game Boy Pocket, Nintendo 64, SNES, Nintendo Gamecube, Game Boy Advance, __**Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii**_

Challenge Organizer: That is incorrect. You have five right.

A few minutes later, Jigglypuff was done.

Jigglypuff: Well, here goes.

_Correct Answer: Game & Watch, NES, Game Boy, SNES, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Pocket, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo Gamecube, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii  
Jigglypuff's Answer: NES, Game & Watch, __**Game Boy, SNES, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Pocket**__, Nintendo Gamecube, Game Boy Advance, __**Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii**_

Challenge Organizer: That is incorrect. You have six right.

Soon…

Ganondorf: Okay, so if I put SNES there, it should be right.

Before too long, he was done.

_Correct Answer: Game & Watch, NES, Game Boy, SNES, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Pocket, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo Gamecube, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii  
Ganondorf's Answer: __**Game & Watch, NES, Game Boy, SNES, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Pocket, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo Gamecube, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii**_

Challenge Organizer: Yes, that is the right order.

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: Take a taxi to Kinkaku-ji, the pit stop. The last team to check in will be eliminated.

Bill: Teams must now drive to the Kinkaku-ji, or the Temple of the Golden Pavilion. The last team to check in will be eliminated.

Ganondorf: Great! Let's go!

_Kyoto Tower_

Peach and Samus had just made it to the bottom.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Samus: Drive to Mimizuka.

Meanwhile, Marth was still inching his way down.

Sonic: Marth! Hurry the hell up!

Marth: I told you already - this is really scary!

Sonic: Oh, I'LL show you really scary if you screw this up!

Marth: And what do you mean by that?

Sonic took out a stuffed teddy bear.

He ripped off its head.

Marth: And?

Sonic: That'll be you.

Marth: Hey! Are you calling me soft like a teddy bear?

Sonic: *facepalm*

_Nintendo Headquarters_

Jigglypuff had just gotten her answer right.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
Currently in 2nd Place_

Kirby: The last team to check in will be eliminated.

Jigglypuff: Let's move! There's no time to lose!

In the taxi…

_Ganondorf & Wario  
Currently in 1st Place_

Wario: We're so close now. This race will be ours!

Ganondorf: Our shot at glory begins here.

_Mimizuka_

Peach and Samus found the cluebox. Peach took the clue and read it.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Peach: Go to the Nintendo Headquarters.

Samus: Are you serious?

Peach: Yes.

Samus: What is this I don't even-

Peach: I know, right?

_Kinkaku-ji_

Ganondorf and Wario hurried out of the taxi and ran as fast as they could to the mat.

The screen shifted to Bill.

Ganondorf and Wario stepped onto the mat.

Bill: Ganondorf and Wario, you are team number one!

_Ganondorf & Wario  
1st Place_

Bill: Not only that, but you are one of the three teams who will be racing to the finish line to win The Brawl Amazing Race and one million dollars!

Wario: Yes!

Bill: So, what are your thoughts going into the final leg?

Wario: We're the team to beat.

Ganondorf: We're just too good and too skilled. We can take these teams on any day!

Wario: Oh, are there any prizes for coming first in this leg?

Bill: No.

Ganondorf: That sucks!

Bill: You can have this eraser, though!

He tossed them an eraser.

About ten minutes later, Jigglypuff and Kirby showed up.

Bill: Jigglypuff and Kirby, you are team number two.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby  
2nd Place_

Bill: You have also secured your spot as one of the three teams who will be racing to the finish line to win The Brawl Amazing Race and one million dollars!

Kirby: Awesome!

Jigglypuff: Nobody marked us as potential winners at first, but hey, we've won three legs! And who knows, maybe our fourth leg win will be our biggest yet!

_Kyoto Tower_

Marth had finally made it to the bottom of the tower.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in Last Place_

Having read the clue, they ran into their car.

Marth: Hurry! We're way behind now!

Sonic: Hey! It's all YOUR fault! Again!

Marth: Forget it! Let's just go!

_Nintendo Headquarters_

Peach and Samus stepped onto the red carpet.

Samus walked calmly past the Nintendo workers giving them a guard of honour and applauding her and Peach.

Peach, on the other hand, was waving to them, and was even asking if anyone wanted her autograph.

Peach: Yes, I'm more than willing to sign your shirt!

Samus: Peach?

Peach: What?

Samus: GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW! We're in a race, for God's sake!

They then got their clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Samus: Road Block! Who knows their history?

Peach: I'll do this.

_Mimizuka_

Sonic and Marth got the clue.

Marth: Drive to the… Nintendo Headquarters?

Sonic: Are you serious? This is insane!

Marth: Well, I guess it's only fitting.

_Nintendo Headquarters_

Peach had now submitted her answer.

_Correct Answer: Game & Watch, NES, Game Boy, SNES, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Pocket, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo Gamecube, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii  
Peach's Answer: __**Game & Watch, NES, Game Boy**__, __**SNES**__, Nintendo Gamecube, __**Game Boy Pocket, Game Boy Advance**__, Nintendo 64, __**Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii**_

Challenge Organizer: That is incorrect. You have eight right.

Peach: Okay, now what could possibly be wrong?

After mulling it over for a few minutes, Peach soon remembered something.

Peach: Wait a second! The original SSB was for the Nintendo 64, and Melee was for the Gamecube!

So…

_Correct Answer: Game & Watch, NES, Game Boy, SNES, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Pocket, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo Gamecube, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii  
Peach's Answer: __**Game & Watch, NES, Game Boy, SNES, Nintendo 64, Game Boy Pocket, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo Gamecube, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii**_

Challenge Organizer: Yes, that is the right order.

He gave Peach the envelope containing the clue.

_Peach & Samus  
Currently in 3rd Place_

Peach: Take a taxi to Kinkaku-ji… . The last team to check in will be eliminated.

Samus: Okay, let's go.

Soon after, Sonic and Marth arrived at the headquarters.

Sonic: This is awesome! And I'm not even a Nintendo character!

Marth: I must admit, this was certainly a nice touch!

Soon, they had their clue.

_Sonic & Marth  
Currently in Last Place_

Sonic: Road Block! Who knows their history?

Marth: What do you reckon?

Sonic: Well, I have a feeling that this'll have to do with Nintendo games. I'm not even a Nintendo character!

Marth: Okay then, I'll take it.

Later, at the pit stop…

Bill: Peach and Samus, you are team number three.

_Peach & Samus  
3rd Place_

Bill: And, there's more! You will be one of the three teams who will be racing to the finish line to win The Brawl Amazing Race and one million dollars! So, how do you feel?

Peach: It's indescribable. I just can't believe we're in the finals.

Bill: It will be the sixth time and third in a row that you two will be starting from the back of the pack. As the underdogs, what do you expect?

Samus: There is absolutely zero pressure on us. We wanna use that to win this race.

Peach: No one's even giving us a chance. We know we can do this, though.

A little over fifteen minutes later, Sonic and Marth showed up at the pit stop.

Bill: Sonic and Marth, you're the last team to arrive.

_Sonic & Marth  
Last Place_

Bill: I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race.

Sonic: Yeah, I thought so.

Bill: I would like to say to you that the two of you have run a fine race.

Marth: Really?

Bill: That is, I **would** like to say it, but you two have had a shocking run of futility! You never placed inside the top two and had only two top-three finishes, and those were with five and four left respectively. To be completely frank, I'm astonished that you made it to the penultimate leg! Seriously speaking, I'm glad you guys are out, for it would've been an injustice if you won!

Marth: But what about Peach and Samus?

Bill: Yes, them too. I hope Ganondorf and Wario or Jigglypuff and Kirby wins, so that the most deserving and most consistent team wins the million bucks!

Sonic: That's _really_ nice of you, Bill.

Bill: Hey, I told you before - I'm here as the host, not a cheerleader!

_Pre-Final Statements_

_Ganondorf & Wario_

Ganondorf: We've always known that we were the ones to beat, even from the start.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby_

Kirby: We always believed, and we haven't bickered much.

_Peach & Samus_

Samus: As the underdogs, we have no pressure on us, and we know we have what it takes.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby_

Kirby: We've been in the top three for nine straight legs. We're unmatched when it comes to consistency.

_Peach & Samus_

Peach: We will go from chumps to champs!

_Ganondorf & Wario_

Wario: They should just write our names on the million-dollar cheque right now!

_Peach & Samus_

Samus: We're starting from behind, but we've thrived in that role all season long.

_Ganondorf & Wario_

Wario: With three legs won, we will make it four in the best way possible.

_Peach & Samus_

Samus: We will be victorious, just you wait and see.

_Ganondorf & Wario_

Ganondorf: We'll see you again soon - with us being a million dollars richer.

_Jigglypuff & Kirby_

Jigglypuff: Pebbles are better than sand!

**Finish Times:**

Jigglypuff and Kirby: 10:39 AM

Ganondorf and Wario: 10:49 AM

Peach and Samus: 11:30 AM

Sonic and Marth: 11:46 AM (Eliminated)

**Next time on the Brawl Amazing Race:**

It's the final! Who will have the determination, mental strength, tactics, and even luck, to make it to the end?

And who will win the Brawl Amazing Race?

Don't miss it!


End file.
